Naked...Revealed...Desire...Fulfilled

Naked….Revealed….Desire…..Fulfilled





      I am lost in my thoughts, thoughts that seemed to go on for years, thoughts that seemed to be as deep as any humongous entity of water, of someone I knew, but I did not know.  We laid eyes upon each other just last week at a party hosted by a mutual friend of ours; we hadn’t seen one another in 10 years.  Ten years ago he was the inevitable crush, the invisible man of my dreams that I couldn’t touch.  Only whiffs of his pheromones, two dates, several phone chats and an occasional kiss were all I was blessed with.  I glanced over in his direction as I sat at the bar, he standing in the corridor with a group of people I was also in acquaintance with.  I saw him when he arrived, and in an instant, I knew my night wouldn’t be the same.  Ten years ago I would have bashfully admired him at a distance sharing giggles and jokes with my friends.  Today I was a fully grown woman; secure in my swag, poised and capable to smitten a man even in my approach, my method to meet his acquaintance.  I chuckled a little, to myself this time, staring intently at the ice cubes melting away in my double shot of Patron, that even as a woman I was still a little adamant about speaking to him.  There was something titillating concerning him that when in his presence, my short termed memory escaped its hiding place & bared itself in the worst way.  I am always, I mean always at a lost for words.  Tonight though, would have to be a different story because although I had no intentions of taking this man home with me, I would make damn sure taking me home would remain in his psyche throughout the night….and well into the next morning.



      When I topped off my drink and placed it on the bar, I felt his eyes upon me.  I elevated my head and positioned my eyes on a familiar face at the bar & smiled in a greeting manner, while I could see him looking at me thru my peripheral.  Eyes slowly scanning the room as it filled with more guests I placed them in his direction knowing full well where he stood; only observing those that were around him until finally….we locked eyes.  He shifted his in another direction upon the locking, smiling & smoothing out his goatee as he did so.  I hopped off my stool, smoothed out my dress, and positioned my feet perfectly in my heels smiling as well…..severely.  I progressed my way through the crowd, trying not to make eye contact with anyone else to prevent them from becoming road blocks to my objective.  After swiftly speaking to a few people, I was in the foyer and he was some place else.  Thru the crowd I felt a hand tug at my shoulder and it felt as if it was the Prince of Death pulling me to my final resting place.  Furious yet able to keep my composure I turned to greet the character who would interfere in my pursuit….and who also happened to be his best friend.  Laughing at my previous thought, I quickly put my nerves in order and brightened up.

      “Hey Jackson” I said as we hugged.

      “It’s been a long time sweetie, how have you been?”

      “I’m good girl, just maintaining. What’s been going on with you?”

        It was easy to be charismatic to someone I have no intentions of sexually exploring eventually, I thought, so in hopes that my name will be brought up in a discussion later between the two, I turned her on, my charm. 

      “Oh you know me, staying career oriented, and young at heart but bringing sexiness to the boardroom as always,” I said, with hands on hips, licking my lips seductively, only to add more gloss to my already silken lips in preparation to approach him. 

      “Yea I see,” he said, observing me from breasts to toes, “the years have been really good to you mami!”

      “Thanks sweetie,” I said, smoothing my dress around my curves, added with a model swirl “so where’s the rest of the team?” 

      Jackson snapped back into reality as he pulled away from his lustful gaze, scanned the room and pointed “Oh……there’s Lance standing by the sofa and you remember Devon, right?”

      A sneer drew across my face, “Yes” was all that could seep from my lips, placing too much emphasis on the “s”.  This was an excuse to get a glimpse at how good the years had been to him, for while conversing with Jackson, Devon had moseyed on over to a more lighted area and his sexiness was extremely conspicuous, a sight for sore eyes and a weakening for the knees. 

      “It was good seeing you Jackson; ya’ll have any other plans for the night?” I asked while smiling. 

      “We were thinking of hitting an after spot, but I have work in the morning.  Can’t hang like I used to!” 

      Neither can I, I thought, but I will tonight if Devon would oblige. “Well I’m gonna go on over & say hi to your boys, we’ll have to catch up later, ok?”

      “Yes indeed” I heard him say while walking away, as his & everyone else’s voice was distracted by Maxwell’s vocals over the loudspeaker singing  “So if it’s cool, we can do a little…..something….” and me getting to where I needed to be while one of my favorite songs were playing.  Nervous as a cat trapped in a house full of dogs I tapped him on the shoulder.  Clearing my throat, I spoke “He….Hey Devon, long time no see!” He turned my way, and I have to say, his dark eyes glistened by candlelight sent my insides into heavy pulsation.

      “Hey girl, give me a hug, where have you been?” I embraced him, taking in his entire aroma from the cologne to the fabric softener to the after shave thinking “My sentiments exactly!” 

      “I’ve been around, working, trying to stay true to myself….,” lost in mid sentence mainly due to my attraction to how distinguished he’d become “ya know…..How in the hell have you been though?” I asked as we pulled apart from the hug that seemed to last an eternity and quickly molded into this dance we entered simultaneously. 

      “I’ve been doing really well, just trying to stay recession free, you know how it is out here!” he laughed, I giggled.  He was always such a hilarious person, which in most cases would unwind any individual; however it only intensified my nerves which sent alarm signals to my want & desire for him.  He felt welcoming and familiar in my arms, arms that haven’t held a man in over two years, arms that at times only wanted to wrap around a strong mans body at night, or in the shower, or while shaving his face or working on his car.  His warm yet rough hands felt secure as if they would protect me from my fears, hands that only in the loneliest of hours I longed were caressing me not only during passionate love making, but in between snores, or massaging my shoulders when I arrived home from a long day at work, hands that clutched my face giving him leverage to kiss me expressing his adoration of me. 



      We shot the breeze as we danced while Maxwell crooned to our rendezvous. I,  though seemingly involved in the conversation as I responded seductively to each inquiry and answer, was actually tuning into every move we made, every step we take, every touch and feel of fingertips and palms.  I studied his movement and how it intertwined with mine seamlessly and I thought of not only how this would become something spectacular in the bedroom, but maybe something exquisite in life. 

     

      Then, suddenly, an old memory escaped from my box of affairs to forget and I felt my left eye weld a little with a tear. 



      Batting my eyelashes and lecturing myself that crying and sympathy was a thing of the past, I held one hand in his and spiraled allowing him a once over of my entire body, forgetting that I sought after love, but recalling that I was in need of something far more accessible.  As I revisited the full closeness of this man, I felt his breath in the nape of my neck, slowly gliding to my earlobe, as he spoke softly “You know….Nina, you have been at least one thought in my mind everyday for the past ten years.”

      My heart stopped.  “Wow”, I said gasping for breath away from his sight, and then bringing myself into full concentration “I can’t say that isn’t true for me, but I’m intrigued.” The music stopped, causing an abrupt ending to my paradise and back into reality.  Wish I could not say the same for his response which left me speechless and feeling somewhat naked. 

      “You know,” he said, seeming a little unsure of his previous comment and maybe a little of his self as he tried to find the words, “the whole abuse situation….”  I was lost in a blank stare.  He continued, “I just remember feeling as if maybe I would’ve taken the next step with you…”

      “Look, its ok Devon.” I put my hand up as a stop sign, closed my eyes for a second to collect my thoughts, giggled nervously, but maintained confidence and continued “I’m fine now ok. And it was no ones fault except his which is why I am no longer in that predicament.”  Another drink, I thought and maybe two more afterward was a burning urge inside of me.  After all I had been through, worked hard for and fought to become, I didn’t need a man to feel sorry for me.  I just needed one to love me.  A few minutes ago I needed one to fuck my brains out but now I couldn’t even feel her pulsations.  My friend was the hot knife that cut the tension between us like butter. 

      “Hey Nina, my new guy is here” our mutual friend Mia stated.  “Ya’ll havin' fun?” she asked looking back and forth between the two of us.  I shook my head in agreeance with Devon’s hell-yea-nice-shindig-you-put-together-Mia statement, and shaking hands with the handsome gentlemen standing next to her that I had heard so much about but, also not able to reciprocate his smile because charming had left the room. 

      “Nice to meet you Winston,” I said turning my attention to my friend. “Hey Mia I’m gonna go get a drink, anybody want anything?” I asked with no eye contact with no one in particular. 

      “No, I’m fine”, “I’m gonna finish this one off,” and “I’m cool” was said in unison, with the show of drinks in hand and Devon finishing his off.  I strolled away, trying to blend myself into the fullness of the crowd.  I headed toward the door, only looking back to make sure Mia didn’t spot me to stop me.  I saw Devon walking in the direction of the bar, towering over the other guests, scanning the room.  I knew in my heart he was searching for me, but for protection I switched the woman he searched for with someone else and escaped. 



     

      As soon as I walked thru my door I damn near busted my knee darting into my kitchen, retrieved the bottle of Grey Goose from my bottom cabinet, glanced at the cupboard where I store my shot glasses but decided that would take too much time, and instead took a swig directly from the bottle.  Besides, I lived alone with my children so no one would be drinking it besides me.  The liquor burned my throat and I let out a boastful gasp as I looked in the fridge searching for a chaser, remembering that I never drink liquor straight.  Once my throat relaxed, I sat on my Chaise lounge chair and took another swig, following it with pineapple juice.  Again caught in a day dreaming stare, I reminisced, remembering how after every fight or brawl, every tiring dispute or disagreement that would last into the wee hours of the morning, after every condemning blow diminishing my self esteem I would lie in my bed and dream of Devon.  Devon was never a boyfriend, a lover, or significant other, but he was a great friend, confidant, and I adored him in my younger years.  He was the most zealous and passionate man, in sports, in education, in life and especially toward women of all walks.  I respected and admired that about him.  But during this pitiful stretch in my life, where my career was immobilized and my life was a struggle, he was successful and seemed content.  I remember being somewhat jealous and a tad bit angered at his success as he shared it with someone I felt was so unworthy, and I was in a situation with someone who was also so unworthy.  At times I’d lie in a pillow filled with tears and on occasion blood and try to visualize my life with him, as thoughts turned into visions and visions turned into dreams and it all would send me into a slumber like a mothers tone to a newborn.  I’d put him on a pedestal to some extent, and vowed the day I escaped from hell that I would never love a man again unless he fit Devon’s likeness and class. 



      My friends and I were all in preparation for a much needed vacation to Florida, a place I had never been.  I eagerly anticipated watching the sun set and rise four days in a row, the serenity and tranquility from the demands of CEO’s, clients and my children.  I was ready for some girl talk, R&R and most importantly….THE BEACH!  At the beach I would cast the evils of my past away in a bottle into the ocean to never see or feel again, as God sends our sins into the sea of no remembrance.  I sat in my Denali, contemplating the night of nakedness as I called it, the night my truths had been revealed by someone I adored, someone I tried to keep safe from my secret. Parked in Mia’s driveway, I waited for her to pull up with Winston, who would drive all of us to the airport.  My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of bass coming from the Escalade that pulled up beside me, and Mia smiling from ear to ear yelling for me to come on through the window.  Mia and I hadn’t spoken on the party at all, which wasn’t a surprise seeing as though she was a prick at planning and since she was the one who put the trip together, it was all we seemed to discuss.  It didn’t bother me by any means; I would like to forget the night had ever transpired. 



      I had repeated that night in my mind as well as the last conversation we held ten years ago.  We both were completely immature with our whole lives ahead of us, but I knew in my heart that he was the one for me.  He on the other hand thought otherwise and although our last conversation was an understanding one, we agreed to disagree, and I was left heartbroken.  We’d been dating for only three weeks, and as a woman I was mature enough now to recognize that what I thought could’ve been back then, wouldn’t have, and I continued to believe I was not truly in love with him, that it was only lust & deep attraction and it was nobody’s fault where I ended up but my own.  Mia was close friends with him, and the only living witness of what seemed to be my dying love for him as well as the dying relationship I just escaped two years ago.  It was evident that his information was retrieved from her, and as much as it angered me, I decided to brush it off.  No discussion of this would be necessary on this trip and I was ambitious to make sure it remained that way.  While feeling secure in my decision, I waited for Mia to open her garage so I could park my truck, jumped out, grabbed my things from the back, placed them in the already crammed trunk of the Escalade and we were off.  I made a promise to myself to forget what I had felt, rub it out and create room to store the experience of a lifetime. 



      “So, Nina...” Mia smirked as we snacked on calamari and steamed veggies on the plane, “I thought you said you were getting another drink at my party bitch!?”  I couldn’t do anything else but laugh, there were two Korean women glaring at her in astonishment.  “Devon and I were looking….”

      I interrupted.  “Yea….I guess I decided to get that drink at Nina’s Bar.”

      “Yea right chica!” she exclaimed.  “Puhleeze, sometimes I think you forget who’s been your best friend for damn near twenty years, I KNOW why you left so quickly!”  And now I must reiterate not to myself but to my dear friend that I would like to focus on my future in Florida and forget about my past-y in the Nati. 

      “No you don’t, and if you do, it doesn’t matter because I would like to focus on this trip and what it’s going to do for my well being.” 

      “Yea, well just so you know…. I do.” She spoke, delicately, sipping her Pepsi and placing her hand on mine.  “Devon and I spoke briefly after you left.”  Tightly pressing my lips and glancing into her eyes, I began to speak but there was nothing to be spoken.  By the expression on my face she knew she had already gone too far, and zipped the imaginative zipper on her lips.  We smiled and continued to enjoy our meal. 



      Arriving at the hotel, I was pleased to see the other ladies whom we planned the trip with, already unpacked and ready for our first night in South Beach.  They all intended to dine at some extravagant and extremely expensive restaurant.  I however, had other plans.  Since I had never set foot on a beach, doing so would be the first thing on my agenda.  Day’s end was near, and I didn’t want to waist any more time in this hotel room.  I showered, quickly dressed in  a green and blue tank-ini covered up in a green and blue see through shawl, placed the straw hat I purchased from the gift shop in the hotel over my fro’, slipped on a cheap pair of flip-flops and headed toward the elevator.  As I sashayed down the corridor toward the hotel entrance I was sent into a state of nostalgia……a smell that was familiar.  I recognized the smell, stopped in my tracks and examined every man standing in the hotels entrance foyer.  Although I spotted several very handsome men in which I made a mental note to indulge myself in after my encounter with the Sun and the Ocean, I did not notice him and pinned it off as another man having the same tastes in cologne as Devon.  The taxi was idling as I stepped outside in the fresh warm weather, anxious to enjoy every morsel of a moment in this paradise, I jumped right in. 



      We drove for ten minutes before I saw the beautiful sand, the luscious water, and felt the butterflies awake throughout my body.  I hiked almost the entire length of the beach until the only sounds were that of the sea gulls, the waves crashing and the distant echo of the vacationers.  The sky was a pink & orange tint and I thanked God for allowing me to benefit from his wonders softly to myself.  I sat in the sand, reached in my bag, and pulled out the green tinted bottle with a lid made of cork.  Inside of it was a letter to God, expressing my desires, revealing, to me, my truths and my want to forgive and forget.  It was a letter I had read a millions time over, and although I wanted to read it again, instead I threw the bottle into the ocean as far as I could.  I thought I would cry, but instead I smiled, stretched my arms up high and allowed the wind to become one with my body.  Delighted with myself, I sat back down in the sand and right when the Sun kissed the sky and its view almost invisible I heard the sounds of footsteps close by.  I commenced to ignore them, wanting to remain caught up in the rapture of the sunset however the familiar aroma drew me away. 



      I saw dark feet in flip-flops, followed by dark muscular legs, the top of them covered in a pair of white basketball shorts.  Washboard stomach, a chiseled chest, long strong masculine arms…..and the goatee.  It was him; it was Devon in South Beach, far away from where we last saw one another.  I was in total disbelief.  I leaped to my feet, dusting the sand from my butt and legs, and stood toward him.  There were so many words going through my mind that I couldn’t put them together to form a sentence.  I wanted to say something but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, his lips were against mine and his hands grasping my face.  My eyes remained opened until he slipped his soft tongue inside my mouth transferring my body from its relaxed state into a frenzy; closing my eyes in concentration was the only thing keeping me from collapsing.  He draped those strong arms around my waste, those strong hands caressing my back.  I kissed him not only as intense as I expected and anticipated as my first kiss is two years to be, but as if it were my last.  He slowly eliminated my shawl, placed one arm underneath both my knees and hoisted me up from the sand.  Both of us still in silence, he walked toward a huge stone a few steps away from where we were just standing and laid me on the sand.  He kissed my lips softly and slowly, from one corner to the other, dragging his huge soft lips down my chin teasing me with his tongue.  His hands stroking every part of me as the sky turned navy blue and the stars were revealed, I repeated over and over, “I can’t believe this is happening”. 



      His kisses seemed non stop as they initiated their way to my breasts and then my nipples, which were as hard as the stone we lie next to.  A moan oozed from my lips several times as his kissed, nibbled and blew, while my body grew hot, my nipples grew harder and the arch in my back created a mind of its own, curling, contracting.  Reaching my navel, I knew what would follow, and I succumbed to him, allowing my eyes to remain sealed and I take in all he was giving to me, all that I had desired from him for years, all that I had desired from a man.  He removed the bottoms of my tank-ini, positioned my right leg on his left shoulder and spread my lips apart.  The sensation of the night breeze blow across my clitoris and the ambiance of our surroundings increased the excitement inside of me.  Deliberate licks, kisses and vibrations permitted my body to experience pleasure like never before and I climaxed so many times I couldn’t keep count, but who was counting.  I sat up to reciprocate, but no words were quoted, only actions took place as he shook his head no and revealed his self to me. 



      He was huge, and I was thankful. 

      I tried once more to fulfill a new desire of mine, his member almost seeming to cry out for my lips, but again he shook no, and somewhat aggressively more so hungrily devoured into my neck while taking hold of both of my legs placing them onto his shoulders and came into me.  A gradual, very distinct moan left my body, as he took his time entering me, filling every inch of my vaginal walls as I relaxed them and my hips grooved in tune with his.  Long, full, unhurried strokes were in motion between us as we danced sexually and passionately to the tunes of the crashing waves, I incorporating the tune of K-Jon’s “Out There on the Ocean” in my mind.  Each thrust, between us, propelled our bodies into oblivion, the orgasm seeming to last the entire time he’s within me, turning me into, to some extent, an animal; I couldn’t get enough.  When he allowed his climax to become noticeable by the sighs and whimpers that escaped his lips I knew I wanted more. 



      He was weakened, yet still hard in the right places by the experience so I took advantage of him and upon myself to indulge in a recent craving.  Though he was well endowed, I placed him in my mouth, gradually caressing and stroking him with my tongue and lips, sucking away the juices our bodies created, savoring the taste of lovemaking under moonlight, and allowing him to stroke deeply inside my throat.  His animal instincts must’ve taken over because before more of his sweet nectar could be released, he flipped me over and penetrated me from behind.  A shriek of some sort came from someplace hidden within me, and I obliged, thrusting back at him enjoying every inch of his essence.  He gripped my legs, extending them apart at the knees and pushed my back down slowly where my stomach met the sand, and in a Froggy style position he fucked me senseless for twenty more minutes so it seemed.  Long slow thrusts, fast hard thrusts, hard, and then slow…several times I obtained an aching neck just wanting to see him in action.  I felt the hard thrusts were of some sort of punishment, and the long slow deep ones, were apologies.  Deep inside of me, skin against skin, he’d lean forward, kiss my spine and grind in me as I released magnitudes of sounds I didn’t know I could create.  Once he climaxed, he laid upon my back, embracing his arms around my body, hands together, fingers locking just at my navel, and while he was yet still inside of me we lay there in the midst of nature.  I thought of asking a million questions, “How did you know I was here, how did you find me, how did you know about my past,” but reality was a place I was far from, and extremely happy to be.  My past had been revealed to him in some way that sent him my way, my truths exposed, naked.  And as I lay in the sand with the man of my dreams, physically exposed and naked, instead of speculating what would ensue, I just lost myself in the moment……in my desire fulfilled.



Nadeje