Unorganized collections

(writing-experiments from over a year ago, from me at the age of 15! wow it has been a while...  well, not really  ~  I numbered them for the sake of review....)

1    I don't want to sleep tonight.  I have no desire to dream nor to see his brutal face.  I've made my bed and merely stare upon it... contemplating... am i worthy?  This life has been all too good for me, yet all i've encountered is painful recollections.

2    There are a million or more words written by my hand... and i look back and tell myself not a damn one of them is significant.

3    Morbid fascination ~ we enjoy the idea of death yet we wait to encounter it

4    I have come to find i am contempt with my being and accomplishments, but i truly find i miss the days of my suffering and translucense.

5    Lying beneath the thick ground hearing angels sing Lost in a fiery pit i await his scream.

6    There is this way with words- he does not know- to twist and blend the most beautiful objects of the poetic language.

7    And for once i am without words; the weakness of my existance is revealed and, most vulnerable, i have the same nothingness to say as it is i am.

8    I've come to divine.... look closely, and you shall surely see how chilled i am to the bone, of how i tremble in the absence of love... my love...

9    Now, music cannor even begin to describe the passions of which sing me through life.

10    And did you request entrance to the truth?  - i was not received

11    Cold thunder thrashes following the opaque lightning of eletric demolition forces.  Tonight's weather is a disaster... and somewhere someone is lost in their sorrow... Why is it i am kept with a grin?

12    All is stronger in the end... in love, lust, and coming acceptance... All is pessimistic- they only allow you to be so happy if they are going to steal something from you.  Thus, empires fall.

13    My hand is stained with a crimson fluid, the vermillion presence of injury; a marking of some loss in its sole fascination- such blood on my hands is not of my own.

14    Everday i can hear them laughing at you in the mocking of chanced accomplishment, as they condemn your falling attempts- but i can honestly still say i believe in you

15    With some people you would have never guessed.... Tell me mother, did you yourself predict?

16    Es gibt diese Melodie, von der ich schreibe.. der von Strähnen von meinem Kopf.... das Üdernehmen strömt.        ~There is this melody from which i write.... streaming from wisps from my head... taking over.

17      i have lived in all my years locked in a peculiar institution.

18    They all thought i could not stand to face a world without you, but now i think i can prove it meets my liking to a point of sufficiency.

19    My love:  The most tenderous loins of my poetic words crumble before the simple images captured by his lens.  As i form words in a twisted tongue to create an image of (what he calls) wonderous form... Such pictures do not compete as those which he possess.  His, always forming spectacles alive with words.  To me, he works backwards.

20    The words of your poetry have already been written by previous pen, but you sing them in your own voice.

21    In his arms is the greatest place known by me

22    We shall have a future when she is part of your past

23    It's not that it wasn't meant to be... it what was meant not to be

24    I woke up with a scream trapped in my throat

25    What is a day more than today?  A solution composed by what is thought and done... Tomorrow a mixtures of what is to be thought and what it to be done.

26    He reads every time lightning crashes....  This is my way of calling someone patient

27    Pity as i think of him all the time... Guilt because i know the difference of what is mine and what i will never have

28    Sometimes i swear to all gods i loathe you

29    What hurt me most was to watch your eyes give surrender

30    In rare moments do i have this insatiable desire to be alone... there is all but one who allows me to fulfill such- he is my better half, my love, my greatest weakness but yet my greatest strength.