Dear John Doe

Dear John Doe,

I feel I need to write this to you, since you were my first murder.  I just wanted to tell you that you were great and that you taught me a lot.
Oh boy, where to start?  Well, I learned that my practicing of stalking did in fact pay off.  You really didn’t know I was behind you, huh?  The look on your face was priceless.  I would place it somewhere between catching your wife cheating on you and maybe witnessing a hit and run. 
Anyhoo, when I first stabbed you, I wasn’t expecting that much blood.  I mean, I’m not that dumb, I knew blood would rush out, but this sprayed everywhere.
You really showed me how a struggle can produce more arterial spray than I care to know.  You also taught me the importance of staying on my toes, since you did end up fighting back, something I didn’t know whether I should plan for or not.  I guess I just visualized a murder as being a quick stab and dash, but you proved me wrong.  You showed that even when a hunting knife is jabbed in your throat, you sure as hell can fight back.  That’s a lesson I will always remember. 
Well, I just wanted to express my gratitude for everything you showed me.  You really were a great teacher.  Although you were a random pick for me, you will always be remembered.  For you were my first, but definitely not my last.