To Write Is To Torment The Thoughts

To write is to torment the many thoughts that occupy the mind. To release the pain of having so much to share. Experiences and life, or questions of my very being. What to write about is as much of a challenge as waking to face each day in this presence we call life. What I write is based on what I feel, but what about what you want to read? What of entertainment and morals to be taunted by mere words of wisdom. What of affliction and pain to tell? These are the challenges of which I’m bound by the words I write. Do I share the pains of life lived or the cheer of life achieved? Of what in life is entertainment and what is idiocracy to believe is worth a share.
So much lived, so much have seen the depths of my being. So much I wish to share, but my words are my torment by the memories to feel with each word I write.
These words must show the challenge I face in deciding what to write. A blank mind? I think not, I know to never be. A gift to some it may seem, but to be it a process to heal the pain of that which occupies my mind and grips my soul. Not words from a craze or dementia in control, but words of wisdom to share.
So many questions, so many answers sought. So much learned, so much taught. So much to share of wisdom of a life hard fought.
Bear with me my friends, my readers for I am merely in a lull due to my own question of what it is that guides me in the choice of the words that lead my thoughts of which I write.
I feel that I am in a lull in my life. There is something waiting for me and I can’t put my finger on it. Is it merely due to the lack of chaos in my life at this moment, or to the lack of a surrounding crowd to challenge my every move. I just know that I am supposed to write, but without the understanding of what to write about. Not because I lack the thought, but merely lack the understanding of what is expected of me.
Yes, life has changed for me in a very challenging way. I find myself surrounded my good people and worthy friends that I would gladly give the world to, but there is something missing. Something that is driving me to try to understand what I am supposed to do. What does life have in store for me? Something good? I can only pray!! Something bad? I so very much under stand the feelings of pain.
I feel right now, at this moment that my life is a book that is waiting to be completed, but there are so many chapters still to write.
I think about the many lives I have lived, the many hats I have worn if you may. And I sorrow for the things that were taken for granted then without warning taken from me. This is not what I am, but what became of me in the past. I do not let these memories control me anymore. Today I sit without a hat, but as a mere man trying to understand life. I am a blank page on this day. A page waiting to be filled with life. I do what I do today for me. Not for the benefit of being someone that somebody needs to fulfill their life. Yes, I am always here for my friends, my family and my passions in life, but I have learned that to truy live life and accept what life has to offer I need to learn to live for myself. Friends and family are of many o be the most important in life. Understanding that life is not to be taken for granted is what is driving me to fulfill the void that has overcome my person to be.
Now I am faced with the challenge of ending this piece, as I am challenged what is in store for the chapters to finish my life. Just know this…… I am not finished!!