Care Bears, Shells & God

I had just finished asking Ed to turn off his alarm clock and the I was sitting there telling Aleah about my care bears and was getting ready to ask her if she would like to be a cookie mom even though her daughter is too young to be a daisy and her other kids are boys and I notice that while I'm talking to her my care bears are showing up all over the place. I was pointing them out to her and telling her that I don't know what she did but all of them are wearing these cute little trench coats and riding on upside down shells that I know are from that Mario kart game that I've been playing on Nicky's DS. All the scouts parents are there watching the little buggers zip all over the place and I'm about to say that they need to stop cuz their going to hurt someone when Aleah stands in front of me and shoves me backward into one of the shells.

The care bear jumps out screaming that he quits and I'm just staring at her when she says something about a kidnapping and all of a sudden I'm shooting down this long tube so fast that I can feel my lips starting to pull back.

Looking around in a panic I can see my family still standing there smiling, ahead of me I can see the arrows (that in the game that lets you know you’re about to go off this ramp) that will send to you a giant pin ball game.

But instead of jumping up I'm sucked down into this chute riding on these bubbles that I know are my favorite pop and I can feel my butt start leaving the shell. I'm going down faster and faster, the only thing holding me down is a scrabble board, and I'm trying to make a word out of the tiles X I T and a couple that have hieroglyphics on them (Nicky's learning about Egypt) and I'm just about to make a the word EXIT with a Tile I recognize as being used as a E when the board goes flying off my lap because I'm not going down anymore. I'm shooting up like I'm a canon ball...

I fly out of the chute with a loud BAMF (a lot like the sound Nightcrawler makes when he teleports himself in the comic books). The G force has me pinned against the shell and I can hear someone yell

"I can see your house from here!"

I start yelling back apologizes about why I haven't done the dishes or the laundry yet.

I'm going higher and higher into the blue sky, the clouds are starting to part in front of me. I'm sucking in air to let out this blood curdling scream that will rattle my teeth when My girls Scout leader is standing there telling me that we need to figure out how to get a booth sale up here...

I look ahead and I start to see a bright light that isn't the sun and I can hear God laughing at me telling me that this is like the time I got my foot stuck in that vacuum cleaner for 4 hours...

I start to tell him that I don't care what my friend Debbie says we should still be able to whack Eve with nerf bats for eating that stupid apple, and we have some issues we need to talk about ..

I can almost see a face in the clouds when this giant hand is waving bye bye to me and I'm now going down. My mom is shouting in the background to be careful cuz her and daddy don't have insurance on the car.

I'm flashing thru the sky like a meteor. Tears from the wind shear are being ripped off my face and I can see everything coming faster and faster and while, yeah, I am talking to God, I'm debating with him about why he should make it where pregnant women would grown an extra arm that would fall off when the baby is two so she could actually use two hands to cook and stuff but He's just laughing and giggling at me and I see I'm about to hit.

I close my eyes and land with this incredibly soft 'wimmmpff' sound.

I open my eyes and see little soft Jazzy's (the dog in the picture after) floating around in the air looking like she does after she's had a bath and everyone is awwing and cooing about how cute they all look. Stephanie and Vannah are awestruck and Nicky is telling me she wants her DS back.

Ed leans forward and says .. Babydoll, you ok?

I lean back, Aleah is there holding her daughter up and looks like she does on her picture in Face Book, and I can hear myself laughing hysterically. An ambulance is blaring it's siren in the background and I know they have a jacket that will be my size and the only thing I can think of is ..

Oh MY God!!!! I want to do that again...

then I woke up...

So ... How'd you sleep?