Jared has an interesting affliction. I wonder how his wife feels about that. |
On Thursday, Jared found a bump on the inside of his left arm just above the elbow. His fingers detected it during an exhausting board meeting. It didn’t hurt, but it was annoying. He couldn’t keep from touching it or twisting his arm around to look at it. His concentration was off and he wasn’t productive at work. “It’s a tumor,” he complained to his wife. “I doubt it,” she soothed. “When people get older they get skin things. It’s probably just some fatty tissue. I’m sure the doctor will be able to take it out if it’s anything.” “You don’t even care,” Jared accused. The next morning the bump had doubled in size. Jared called and made an appointment as soon as the doctor’s office was open. The doctor prodded the spot. “Well,” he muttered, “I’d say it was a cyst but it’s pretty hard.” He let go of Jared’s arm. “I’d like to do a biopsy if that’s okay with you.” “Sure,” Jared agreed. He was still watching the bump when a sudden stabbing pain struck the area. He gasped, while the doctor took hold of his arm again. The bump moved, rolling and twisting. “What the hell is it,” Jared choked. The doctor dropped the arm. “Stay here,” he ordered. “I’m getting a sonogram of that.” He stepped into the hall and flagged down a nurse. While they were talking, Jared held his breath and tried to keep from screaming as the bump relentlessly inched its way up the inside of his arm. “Doctor,” he shouted. A black mist was threatening to take over and he swayed on the examining table. The next thing he knew, the smooth, warm hands of the nurse were guiding him into a prone position and the doctor was shouting instructions. “Sorry,” the doctor’s voice intoned. “No time for anesthesia.” Jared felt a stinging just above the painful area of his arm, as the doctor made a quarter inch incision. There was a strange noise and the pain eased. At the same time, he heard the nurse cry out as something skittered across his chest. He glanced down in time to see the doctor catch a black beetle with a pair of forceps. “Nurse, get a sample jar.” In seconds, the beetle was safely imprisoned in a jar. “Just lay still, son. I’ll put a couple of stitches in that.” “What is it?” Jared stared at the insect in the jar. “That came out of me?” “Don’t know what it is. I’ve never seen anything like it.” The doctor bustled about and put some tiny stitches in Jared’s arm. “We’ll send it off, see if we can learn anything about it,” he promised. Jared took the rest of the day off. He went straight home and related his terrifying and excruciating ordeal to his wife. “That’s terrible, darling,” she said, as she worked around the kitchen. “The least you could do is be concerned,” he snapped. He went to flop down in front of the television in a huff. By dinner he was feeling more charitable. “What’s for dessert?” “There’s cake from yesterday,” his wife offered. “The icing tastes funny,” Jared objected. “That’s what you said yesterday, but you had two pieces anyway.” “Fine, I’ll have a piece,” Jared sulked. His wife brought him a generous slice, setting the plate in front of him with a secretive smile. “What,” Jared demanded. “Nothing dear, I hope you enjoy it.” It wasn’t awful, Jared decided, but it wasn’t nearly as good as her usual efforts. “Don’t make this recipe anymore,” he griped. “The chocolate is much better.” Little was said between them for the rest of the evening, but at bedtime Jared gifted his wife with a peck on the cheek. “Thank God today’s over. Tomorrow is bound to be better. ” “I’m sure tomorrow will be a memorable day for both of us,” his wife agreed. Saturday started early. Jared awoke around 6:00a.m., bladder barking. He swung his legs out of bed and staggered to his feet, careful not to wake his wife. He was taking care of business when he noticed a bump on the inside of his left thigh. Gasping he took a closer look. Not only was the bump identical to the one that had been on his arm, there was another one on his right thigh and two more on each calf. Shaking he stripped off his pajamas and turned toward the mirror. Bumps covered his chest and traveled along his throat over his chin and onto his face. His hair stuck out at odd angles revealing a collection of bumps on his scalp. Both of his lower arms sported jutting skin and even the tops of his feet were affected. Horrified, Jared turned towards the door. His intention was to wake his wife and go to the emergency room, but as he turned he felt a stabbing pain just below his shoulder blade. Casting an eye in the mirror, he saw the mass covering his back. It twisted and rolled under the skin as Jared began to scream. |