The Warm Nght

Tonight is a very warm and humid night. Such nights are unusual for this region which is both fortunate and unfortunate. While I find it difficult to become comfortable enough to sleep there is a certain energy in the air. I cannot completely describe it in words, perhaps the sensation is there because of the rarity of such weather.



The energy is almost magical, like something is hidden in the thickness of the air. I remember a night like this not so long ago. The power in the neighborhood had gone out. The air was hot and moist. It was even worse because our home was situated very close to a wetland. There was no central air conditioning, no fans, nothing to break the almost suffocating humidity. Around ten in the evening and just after sunset, my infant son woke for his regular feeding. My son had been adopted at birth and I was unable to nurse him as I would have liked. I was able to prepare his bottle for him because the gas on the stove top still worked if lit with a match.



I settled myself and him in an old family rocking chair which I had refinished for the nursery just months before. He has wearing only a diaper and I a tank top and light cotton shorts. The chair had fabric cushions which soaked up the perspiration from the back of my bare legs. The room was as dark as the rest of the house except for a small amount of light from the waxing moon. The window was open but provided no relief, the air was as still that night as it is tonight. The sound of insects was almost profoundly musical. I became enchanted when the fireflies caused the outdoor scene to sparkle with their light.



As my child suckled his bottle I found myself stilling my mind. The heat made it difficult to think. That was when I first noticed the energy. I wondered at it and felt buoyed by it. I was aware of being strangely connected to my child and to the night. The memory of that moment will never leave me. It was a feeling of indescribable patience and acceptance for everything without judgment.



Perhaps it was the stilling of my mind that really caused the sensation but if that were true why do I notice it now on nights such as tonight? The memory? Maybe. The lesson I learned was that there is so much more surrounding us than we can begin to imagine all we need to do is pay better attention.