Holiday depression

At this time of year we hear all the stories of old-fashioned down-home Christmas times, wonderful family gatherings and celebrations.  It paints a picture of happiness, love, warm relationships, etc., just like a Norman Rockwell painting.  However, for some people that is not the memories they have of Christmas.  For these individual Christmas is a time of sadness and despair.  Their memories of Christmas are ones of disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, angry outbursts, fear and anxiety.  For other people Christmas mean loneliness, memories of lost loves and lost loved ones.  It is a time of grief and sorrow because they are all alone.  For others wintertime itself is a time of depression.
Research has shown that more people suffer from clinical depression during the holiday season than at another time of the year.  The month of December has the highest incidents of suicide and suicide attempts.

Depression during the Christmas season can be triggered by a number of factors, such as losses, failures, loneliness, and seasonal affective disorder (SAD).  Because everyone around seems to be so happy and joyous, reaching out to someone for help with depression is more awkward and remote.  For some people just the holiday itself is stressful enough to trigger depression because of the hustle and bustle and need to produce.  Death, separation, and divorce can leave people alone at Christmas.  People who have lost a loved one are particularly mindful of the loss at Christmas time.  Also during this time of economic instability the cost of Christmas and place a significant financial burden on already tight budgets.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of clinical depression that is linked with sunlight.  The decreased amount of sunlight during the winter months triggers this form of depression.  December has the least amount of sunlight in the year.  It is believed that the decreased sunlight causes chemical changes in the brain that make many people prone to depression.  Although all of us may be affected to some degree those individuals with SAD have a more pronounced reaction to the decreased sunlight.

Therefore as we go planning the holiday celebrations we need to be mindful of what others are experiencing.  If your holiday plans include someone who has sustained a loss during this past year be mindful of the fact that they may not be in the usually holiday mood.  If that loss has been a financial one look for more inexpensive ways to celebrate and focus more on the meaning of the season and less on spending.  This year more than others we should have as our main intent spending time with friends and family and not on spending money.  This would be a good time to reinstitute the tradition of inexpensive homemade gifts. 

For those who may be the ones experiencing one of these situations here are some things to help get through the season.
1.          Realize that this is only a temporary season it will soon be over.
2.          If necessary slow down from the hectic pace and take a much needed rest.
3.          Prepare yourself for those quirky relatives that you only see once a year and don’t let little jabs and sarcastic remarks, drunken or careless remarks make you miserable.
4.          Brighten the houselights.  SAD is a real illness and often can be overcome by increasing the light in your home and workplace. 
5.          Consult your doctor is your depression jeopardizes your daily activities.
6.          Budget your money wisely, don’t overspend just because others do.  Set a spending limit and stick to it.
7.          Drop the need to be perfect.  Your meals don’t have to live up to Paula Deen’s standards and your house does not have to look like it belongs on the pages of Martha Stewart’s Living magazine.  Remember Christmas is meant to be a time of sharing Christ’s love with others not competing with them.

To help someone with depression encourage them to seek treatment and also encourage them to stay in treatment until the symptoms lessen or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs.  Don’t accuse the person of being lazy, faking illness, or expect them to “just snap out of it”.  DO NOT ignore remarks about suicide.  Remember to report suicidal thoughts to the depressed person’s therapist or doctor.

Some additional ways of coping with Christmas depression:
1.          Stay active – getting enough exercise, oxygen, and fresh air and sunshine may help lift the holiday blues.  Surviving holiday depression is easier if you are active and breathe deeply.
2.          Start new traditions – if this is your first season without a lost someone let yourself grieve naturally.  Starting new traditions, instead of engaging in old traditions that may be to painful at this time, is a good way to lift your spirits.
3.          Be aware of your family’s dynamics – you may not be able to change them but by being aware of what situations maybe triggers to your depression and then avoiding those if possible.  Also you may want to consider limiting your time with certain family or friends who have a negative effect on your emotions.
Remember that a good therapist can help you learn to set healthy holiday boundaries while coping with the negative aspects of Christmas depression.  It is better to get help instead of waiting until the depression has spiraled completely out of control.