Unsure and confident

Away from home
An impromtu journey self-inflicted
It has been incredible and friendless

Looking at a carpet
Its red ran through me like a soothing pain

My struggle is a lonely one
its nature necessary, the outcome unknown

I'm young, had a nice car
Had a girl, she danced as she fucked
Like a nymph angel whose love was mostly mine

Where will this path lead, and what of its shape?
Have I betrayed my youth, what have I sacrificed?
I feel and sense expectation, of something lost and found
A paradigm of self knowledge experiencing
To satisfaction I am bound