My brother says he loves me...but why does he do these things to me then? |
---.:Brother:.--- My brother, tells me he loves me everyday....but I don't understand... Why does he touch the way he does? He touches me differently like a brother should touch his sister. I know it's wrong. The way he touches me is wrong. Ever since I was about 7 or 8 years old, he started acting differently towards me. He was always a good brother, though, but he's just not the same anymore. It seems the older I get the more differently he acts towards me. I'm 16 now, just turned 16 a few months ago. But even I noticed that as I turned older the more guys started to notice me. I never really did care for a boyfriend or thought about one, but they seemed to think about me a lot. I've been told I was pretty, a lot, so much times I really don't care anymore. Because of being pretty and beautiful gets you in this much trouble, I'd rather be average. My brother says that since I'm getting older we could do more fun things. I didn't understand what he meant by that and I didn't want to. Every time I think he means one thing, it means another and I don't like it at all. Right now mom and dad are away, which I hate, because big brother does those things to me. He tells me I'm not suppose to tell anyone, that this will be our little secret. But, I don't know why I don't tell? I know I should. I think, if I tell what big brother does to me, our family will break apart. And mom and dad are already going though tough times in there relationship as it is... they don't need anymore problems. I was in the living room watching TV, big brother was asleep so I had time to watch TV before I lock myself in my room and wait for mom and dad to get back. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder making me jump. Oh no... I must have been to wrapped up the TV to hear big brother open his door. I closed my eyes as his hand went from to my shoulder to my hand. He held my chin so I'd look up at him. ''Good morning Cassy.'' He said with a grin looking at me. ''G-Good morning.'' I stammered. He looked me over and I wished my baggy pajamas would cover more of me. He grinned as he put his hand on my foot and went up my pajama pants leg feeling my leg and I squirmed uncomfortably. He put his hand through my long black hair. ''Your so beautiful Cassy.'' He whispered in my ear making me shiver. Why was he doing this to me? He's suppose to be my big brother. He's suppose to protect me. Why is he doing this? He kissed me. I don't kiss back and I don't push him away. I just stay there waiting for him to be finish. He got on top of me laying me down on the couch and I started to cry like I always do. He wiped my tears away with his thumb. ''Don't cry Cassy. Big brother's here.'' He whispered to me and rubbed my cheek with his thumb, as if to calm me down, but it did no such thing. It use to calm me down when I was a kid... when big brother was normal. Like when I'd scrap my knee riding my bike when I was just 6, he would put me on his lap and rub my cheek telling me not to cry, then he'd kiss my cut better. But that was back when he was normal. He started to unbutton my shirt and I started to cry again. ''Brother please!'' I cried trying to push him away. ''Please what Cassy?'' He said kissing my neck and I closed my eyes tightly. ''P-Please s-stop.'' I said and shivered when he licked my neck. ''I can't Cassy. Your much to beautiful to not be touched.'' He said moving to my ear. ''I love you so much Cassy.'' He said kissing me behind my ears. No you don't....You can't possibly. If you really loved me.. you wouldn't be doing this to me.... I heard keys from behind the front door meaning mom and dad were back. Big brother quickly got off of me and sat down on the couch besides me as if he were watching TV all along. I wiped my tears and sat up also, but as far away from him as possible. Mom and dad came in and mom smiled at me and kissed my forehead. ''Good morning sweetheart, did you and your big brother do anything interesting while we were away?'' She asked with a smile. I looked at him and he looked at me back. I quickly looked away and looked down at my lap and shook my head. ''No mom.'' I answered. She simply smiled again and walked into the kitchen to get breakfast ready. It was over for now, but it'll just happen again, and again, and again.... |