See me go

“Please go home now. You will be late for dinner” said Steve. He pressed his lips close to my right ear, yet I barely heard what Steve had said. Steve is my close friend and those were his last words from the hospital bed that night. He has been in the hospital for more than three days and was dying of liver and kidney failure! I came under the impression that Steve would be called home this night and therefore wanted to be there when he breathed his last. I am prepared to skip my dinner. Those were certainly his last words, that night—reverberating through my ears. 

But as he lay in the hospital, I realized he has none to call his own except me. However, he is also everything to me. I recollect the day when Steve lost his entire family to a road accident! Steve was also there in the doomed vehicle that killed his family, but miraculously he was the only one who survived unscathed. We both were 12 years old when it happened and were classmates at the school. Our family gathered for a moment without Steve that day and took a decision in unison; to accept Steve as a member into our midst and home. Since then he went to school with me, shared every thing even after we got married—we both married the same day. He loved his wife so much that, I thought that they would make a lovelier pair than ours. Mary, his wife loved Steve also with equal fervor. However the only complaint that she used to have against Steve was he would spend much of his time and money on charity rather than her.

Now as I look at Steve I see his hospital gown barely hiding his frail and weak form—skin and bones that was what was left of him—drained of muscle and fat. He was a year before sturdy and strong. But as I see him now so feeble and fragile with the accompanied pain and suffering, I could not control myself from crying; deceptively at first, not to let Steve notice that I was crying; and with an uncontrollable crescendo a little later when Steve also joined me. We were shedding tears silently, for his acquired plight! Yes it was a self-made predicament for Steve. But for now I am desperate and determined to see Steve live through this ordeal. I never prayed so incessantly before, but I was praying for him now, relentlessly, seeking a miracle cure from the God Almighty. Pleading God to make my friend live.

I always knew Steve to be compassionate, obliging and helpful to anyone, everyone and all. He would wilt with humiliation on finding unattended and lonely people. It was no different as a matter of fact with animals too. Many a times I have seen him melt with compassion on seeing stray dogs starving for food, with their bones protruding out of their bodies; he would buy bread to feed them and feel extremely satisfied and happy. I vehemently feel that it would be a loss of unimaginable magnitude if Steve dies—especially for those who have come under the expanse of his compassion. He is a spendthrift when it comes to helping the desolate and the lonesome. He used to believe that God created humankind without a purse and therefore to keep it full tantamount to displacement of His trust. True Christian he was! He never repented spending for charity. But his wife did. He used to set apart a considerable size of his income towards charity. But little did he know that he was writing his own death sentence all the time.

His wife thought, with time and her entry, Steve’s attitude would undergo a change, so far as his charity was concerned. But Steve was always the same. Marriage did not bring any change in him. As a result, his wife whom he loved so much deserted him initially and the world a little later for ever!

This happened not just at the drop of the hat, but after a reasonable period of endearment. She suffered silently, at first, of his return home empty-handed; when he was to bring home the expected. After that she goaded and coaxed, nagged and grumbled to make Steve understands his commitment for the family. It rang a bell of discord in their marital life, when Steve continued to pay priority to charity. Steve’s wife decided to desert him and finally did that. But then, she could not survive even for a month after that! She died of brain hemorrhage!

From the day his wife left him, Steve took to bottle, out of overbearing pain and suffering, feeling of emptiness and embarrassment. He drank to the deathly silence of his home. And from the day he came to know of his wife’s demise, he did nothing but get more than drunk, unmindful of time. He consumed liquor for one full year without much intake of food (I however used to force-feed him whenever I could). Steve’s liver and kidneys decided to bid adieu oppressed by his irregularity.

I came back to the present, as I heard Steve moaning. I took his feeble hands into mine, and soon they were gripping me with extraordinary force! I immediately realized that he was going. His eyes were speaking to me “I am leaving friend, I am happy and extremely happy to leave this world, because I am going to join my wife there. Yes. She has forgiven me. I am going to get all her love now…” I see streams of tears running down his eyes. I was crying too.

Gently as ever, I felt his grip on my hand begin to loosen; I knew he was no more! He was smiling; eyes closed and breathing stopped. All the machines attached to him were crying out loud and squeaking—in their own language—declaring his death! I could find him smiling still. There was nothing there for me to do except stand as a mute witness to his peaceful demise. However I am happy that he had better hope for the future. I still could not believe that he is dead. It was as if he went on a trip to a distant place to meet his wife and return to me one day along with her. I could imagine no beyond that, as I am besieged by the engulfing grief of losing my best friend and that is what it seemed to matter to me the most; until surprisingly I felt the need to go home immediately.  I realized I was hit by a pang of hunger that reminded me of home; of the earthly world, shattering my thoughts from the ethereal. Yes. Steve also wanted me to go and have my dinner.