What This is, What is This?

These books I've been reading. Disappearing inside their wonders. Hoping to escape my own life? I wonder. I don't see why I hate being alone, but when I'm surrounded, i want them to go. They tire me out but they are my friends. Simple is



as simple does. Big gifts come in small packages, but i still feel so small. Wrapping or not. It may seem happy to you easy to you, but it's so hard for me. Told one thing and when you contradict they scoff. You brush it aside but it still haunts you.



That they could be so wrong. Or maybe they're right. Maybe I've got it upside down. My curls are backwards twisting to straight. My voice is oh so low, and my head is up with the clouds, down on the ground. So familiar and yet so strange. Swimming



here in a comatose state. One day i love you but you run away. I dream of things in the past that hurt but i want. To see you i know that i never want to return. Something i wanted, but came back to explode in my face. Life isn't fair. Who told you that?



Your mother? It can be if you take it in stride. Learn how to deal with it in a good way. Stop worrying. Simple is pie. It's cake. Even sweeter than lemons. It still packs a punch. Big broken noses come from small fists. Don't learn to love people. It's a



waste of time. Love to learn people instead. Find their quirks. They wont like to mention but they want to be discovered. So let them be. No don't let them be, just pry and prod till you cant poke no more. The bogeyman isn't coming, life is. And when



you go to kill it, it wont go away. It's there whether you like it or not. You'll deal with it eventually even if you die. Religion, can you tell me what it is? What it really is, not what it's become. Then what has it become. The hulk, a freak accident



or was it? God- out of fear inexplicable and powerful, or just imagined for giggles and hah's? Who's to say? Who isn't saying??! Why should someone be able to tell you to do something? And why do you go along with it anyway? Or why do you disobey? Can you



tell me? When you can let me know. No doctors. Just friends. I want your opinion. Not fact. Its hard to get unbiased these days. Doesn't tick like clockwork, does it? Nope. Just like love. Isn't it? Right. Before you can love someone you have to love



yourself. What is that anyway? Love. What is it? Few seem to know. That word great, amazing. Now tossed around like a birdie in badminton. Does it still mean the same thing? Sure. No, really. Seriously. Does it? Who can gauge it? Who really knows what



it means? To be privileged burdened by it. What was that? No couldn't be. Divorce? I thought love was like matter, couldn't be made or destroyed. But there's where I'm wrong. It can be made. I've seen it like a factory. Destroyed? Why not. Why do the



good die young? The same reason that love does. It's just not strong enough? Who knows. It's connected. A tiny web. Huge. My train of thought never stops. Just continues and passes by the station. It's gotta stop for gas sometime, but how can i pay for it?



Exactly. I wont. I'll just keep going because if i stop, I'm sure to need more energy. There's that word again. More. Cant be made or destroyed. Matter. Energy. Flow. Die. Whoops, passed another station. I'm gonna have to face life sometime and buy gas.



Why not now? The present is said to be a better time than any. But today is tomorrow's past, and this time tomorrow is tomorrow's present. My present. Or will be. Maybe it already is. Wait, i felt it. Future. Sliding into the deep end of a pool



startling you. You go under and brush the bottom but it escapes you. Back to the shallow end. Not bad. Just safe. Future. Unexplained unsafe and untamed. Here it comes and there it went. Now you see me now you don't. Tricks or treats? Scary. No. Yes?



Yes. The future is worrisome to say the least. Random. Who knows. But maybe they do. Who? Exactly. But why is the only important one. Why. No becauses. Just truth. Unbiased, real truth. Yes? No. I know where I'm going. Here comes the station now. Gone.