If Only...

Jerry knew by the way man blasted through the door, that angry words would be the next thing he would hear.

“Do you know what this is?” the man asked as he slammed a plastic bag on Jerry's desk.

Jerry recognized the plastic bag from the local hypermarket easily enough, but the translucent material made it difficult to tell what lie within, but by the sound of the man's voice and the smell that came from the bag, he guessed that it just might be...

“It's DOG SHIT,” the man fairly spat at Jerry.

As the man paused for dramatic effect, Jerry took his first ever look at Sam Kline. He didn't bother to ask a name, he didn't have to. Jerry knew the booming voice immediately, having argued with it countless times on the phone. Sam looked much different than the picture Jerry had developed in his mind's eye. He imagined Sam being much taller, a little older, and not as clean-shaven. Only the glowering eyes matched Jerry's vision.

Jerry opened his mouth to speak when Sam placed another object on the table.

“Do you know what this is?”

“No, Mr. Kline, I don't.”

“It's surveillance video of the neighbor's dog, shitting in my yard..”

As Jerry glanced down at the compact disc, he tried his best to think of a way to handle Mr. Kline, it wasn't every day that a police dispatcher got a bad of dog poop thrown on this desk. After years of phones calls, Jerry wondered what had aggravated Sam so much that he came down to the station this time. His thoughts were interrupted by a manila envelope being placed on top of the disc.

“Do you know what this is?”

“Mr. Kline, if you could...”

“This is a survey document that shows the boundary lines of my property.”

“Mr. Kline...”

“Now you listen to me,” Sam said, his finger shaking with rage as he pointed. “Take that disc. Put it in that computer. Get out that survey. You will see that a dog from 815 S. Main is coming onto what is clearly my yard at 811 S. Main and taking the shit that's in that bag.”

“Now, Mr. Kline...”

“Don't you 'Mr. Kline' me. There are laws about dogs in this town. I want these pet owners in court. Get off of your donut-easting ass and DO something about this.”

His peace said, Sam turned on his heels and exited the station as quickly as he had come in, leaving the three items and a speechless Jerry behind.



While waiting for the officer to come to the station and pickup the items, Jerry satisfied his curiosity by looking at the video. A frisky chocolate lab ran back and forth the across arbitrary line that man had drawn, stopping his carefree romp only to do what nature called him to do.

“If only,” Jerry said to himself. “If only.”



Word Count: 503