Janna ..a confused story !

( 1 )



Her name was ( Janna ) ..it means ( Heaven ) or ( Paradise ) ...she was a pretty little thing ...though she was in her late twenties ...but she always looked younger !....with her sweet baby face ...and thoughtful sorrowful eyes !



She was not what u would call beautiful !...but she had that calm face and from her eyes u could almost see her innocent pure though sad soul !...she was one of those ppl who easily enters others hearts but always prefer to stay alone and away !.....



She woke up at 6.00 a.m as was her habit ...opened her little window , and looked down the street as she used to do every morning !...she could see the bus station from where she was ....few ppl where there waiting for the bus to pick them up !....and most of them she knew pretty well !....coz she was also supposed to be down there waiting with them by now !....there was this kind 50 years old accountant ...and that arrogant lawyer and few others !...though she has been using this bus station nearly everymorning for almost a year now ...but she never really got to know anyone of them except one ! .....



He came recently to this poor suburb ....she got to know him only 2 months ago !....he was a shy , caring , sweet person !....he didnt talk much , preferring to stay alone and mind his own buiseness !....only last month he decided to talk to her !.....and since then they started talking every morning !....he used to tell her about his job hunt , about his previous day , and about his faraway family !....it surprised her how much she has opened up to him ...and how easily she could talk to him !...but she never told him everything ....she never told anyone everything !....and he knows it !...once he told her that he hopes one day she will trust him enough to let all her sorrows out to him !...In his look she saw something that made her blush ...she never really recognized what it was !...but it was such a concerned caring look !.....a look that said ...( I care ....and iam always there for u ! )....



Now she was looking down the street ...the accountant was drinking coffee from his eternal paper cup ....the lawyer was looking impatiently and constantly at his watch !...and he was looking anxious as if searching for something or somebody !.....The tears started coming down her cheecks !...this will be the last time she will see them ! ...she is going to miss them all ....even the arrogant lawyer !



( 2 )



( She is getting late !...by now she must be down waiting for the bus !....what could have happened to her ? ) ....



He never knew when exactly did he start loving and caring for her so much !....he has always minded himself ...didnt really see anyone else !...his life has been so difficult  that he couldnt trust or bear his own shadow !....But she was different !...such a sweet and fragile thing she was !...she captured his eyes , as she walked in shyly , silently , 2 months ago ! ...smiling sweetly at everybody ...greets them with a feeble ( Morning ! ) .... sinks in her seat !...and then drowns in her thoughts !....she has always been occupied by her thoughts , always looking away , that sad helpless look haunting her !....Maybe  that particular look is the secret of  her charm !...he always felt like hugging her tight and convincing her to let it all out to him !...but the closer he gets ...the sooner she escapes ! ......He remembers that day when he decided to talk to her !...he sat beside her and introduced himself !...she didnt look annoyed ...and didnt give him that look that said ( Mind - ur - own - buiseness ) ..he was used to get !...on the contrary she seemed pleased to know him !....They are used to chat everymorning now ...while waiting for the bus ...he tells her everything ...his dreams ...his sorrows ...his hopes !...but the best moment for him was ...when she laughs that bright laughter whenever he says something funny !...she is happy with him !...and he was proud !...



Now he was getting more worried ...he turned around and looked at her window !...it was open and she was there !!!!!!......but ....why does she look so sad ?....was she crying ?.....He waved at her ...and pointed at his watch !...as if telling her she is getting late !...she waved back at him ....nodded her head and disappeared in the room !



His heart missed a beat !...he kept looking at the window anxiously !...why does he feel like he will never see her again ???











( 3 )





She closed the window and stood by it crying like she never did before !....why does it seem so difficult now ?....yesterday she thought of it the whole night !...and was determined to do it ! ...it must be done ! ...actually it must have been done long time ago !...she thought she could handle it !...she thought things would get better !...but it never occured to her that nothing will be better ever again ...she is dead long time ago ! ...now she will only have to make it clear to everybody !...she wont deceive herself or anyone else anymore !



She went to her moms room , who was sleeping there deeply ...breathing her heavy breaths !...her dad was preparing to leave for work ...her sister too !....she loves her family so much ...and they love her too ! ....they will never understand ! ..it will be such a shock for them !...why ?...they will never get it !...



( Iam sorry ...iam so sorry ! ) ...she said it and ran to the roof !



She is now on the roof !...feels the warm lovely sun on her skin ...the breeze against her face ..blowing her dark hair !....She stands by the edge !...her heart starts beating so fast !.....she closes her eyes slowly ......tears running down her cheecks....takes a deep breath in to calm herself !



To her amazement there was only one face occupying her mind ....His face !...



his eyes looking at her that particular look that used to make  her blush !...



A peaceful smile appears on her face ...she spreads her arms like a bird ...



Takes a step forward ...and peacefully lets herself go !...



The End