So close, but yet so far away. |
My Sedona Over dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Albert asked if my mahi mahi was to my liking. I expressed my pleasure with the meal and said it was prepared to perfection, and that the green beans and roasted potatoes were seasoned just right. He agreed it was very tasty because he had ordered the same, as well. We had only been dating for couple of months, but Albert was always very gracious and practiced good manners. It was probably his best trait besides being intelligent. As this particular dinner progressed, he smiled and paused during his meal and said, “We’re perfect for each other and you always look so nice.” I remember feeling uncomfortable, because he said it so often, but I thanked him anyway and changed the subject. We spoke about our day at work. He worked for a big oil company as a chemist, and I for a major soup company. We joked about office politics. Albert was a straight arrow, follow all the corporate rules kind of guy, but I amused him with my free spirit approach to work. I’m not a corporate cutout type even through I loosely practice the rules. When I asked him questions about himself, he seemed to be capable of always turning it around to be about me. When coffee was served, we began discussing our favorite places to visit, and I expressed my love for Sedona and the Grand Canyon and that I had taken seventeen rolls of pictures the last time I was there. He was so excited he yelled, “Me too!” He added that he loved photographing the desert. I said I loved the beautiful blue sky and often the absence of clouds. That I loved Georgia O’Keefe paintings, and well he agreed with me and everything else I said. Albert then decided to conclude dinner with a glass of wine for each of us. Did I approve? “Of course, that would be fine”, I said. He ordered two glasses of the same wine. “I like what you like.” When the wine was served along with the Crème Brule because he knew I liked that as well – he popped the question. “Would you like to go to Sedona with me?” He sheepishly asked. “Yes, I love Sedona!” I shivered with excitement. I could barely contain my enthusiasm. We discussed our plans. Albert would purchase the tickets, get us in the Enchantment Resort, drive down to the Grand Canyon, etc. “How about a Pink Jeep tour?” I suggested. “Great idea,” he said. “And Oak Creek Canyon along the way,” I added. Of course he said yes. We verbally worked out all the details, except when to go. “I need to arrange all of this, so give me a date,” he insisted. I told him I would have to look at my schedule. “OK, I’ll call you at work tomorrow,” he pushed, and I agreed. We were both so pumped and excited to be going to my favorite place. We kissed goodnight and left in separate cars. The next day at work, I felt anxious. I reviewed my calendar for the best date to leave for vacation – I so wanted to see Arizona again, but it had to be just the right date. Not too hot. I’d also have to get new hiking boots. I loved the desert, and we’d be staying at the Enchantment Resort surrounded by fantastic scenery – together. I had ignored this part of the vacation until that moment. All of a sudden not one week on my calendar seemed appropriate for time off. The reality was I didn’t really like Albert enough to go on a vacation with him. I realized he was needy and planned everything around what I like. He never suggested his favorite places to go – he only catered to my desires and wishes. He always agreed with me. He rarely had a different point of view than mine. He had not been honest with me and I didn’t really know him at all. I missed that moment of excitement to visit Arizona (my heart home), even if we’d gone as companions and split the cost of everything I still wanted to share the experience with someone I really cared about. Sadly, it was never going to be Albert. |