Choaking On Christ

Choking on Christ





Why do funny things happen in church? It’s not a typical place to yuck it up in but darn if things aren’t ten times funnier there than anywhere else. Here is just one of many examples I‘ll be writing about.



It was a snowy Sunday and the service had thankfully ground to a conclusion. Not that there was anything wrong with the sermon but it was just a lackluster mid-winter day where your mind wonders and your legs are restless. It was time for communion and a deacon brought the shiny gold tray containing the body of Christ (wafer) and the blood of Christ (juice).



I was particularly gunkie that morning but I didn’t think anything about it as I eyed the tray and waited my turn. My husband held the tray while I popped the wafer in my mouth took the cup with about a half of an ounce of juice and popped it back like a shot. Usually it’s enough juice to allow me to swallow the wafer. But not this time! Thank to the gunk in my throat, the wafer attached it’s self to the back of my throat and wouldn’t go down. My eyes bulged with silent panic and lack of oxygen as I tried repeatedly to swallow. I tried to slowly breathe but I had to stop instantly as I felt the wafer move. The wafer vibrated when I’d breath in causing me to choke again! I didn’t want to disturb the whole church so I tried to motion to my husband that I was choking but he had no idea what I was trying to tell him. I darted out of the sanctuary on little or no air into the gathering area. I gagged and coughed so loud but the wafer still teetered between the two pipes and remained firmly attached to the back of my throat. I grabbed a cup and slugged down some water. It finally went down. Several pre-schooler’s walked past me with their teacher. The kids were staring at me with wide eyes as I filled my lungs with air and coughed harshly at the same time. Their teacher looked sternly at them as she said, “See kids what can happen if you drink too fast?” I didn’t bother to use any of the newly found air I’d just greedily filled my lungs with to contradict her. I made my way back to my husband as soon as I could stop coughing and gagging.



I explained my quick exit to him and he started quietly laughing. He said he couldn’t take me anywhere! LOL