Oh Dear

One
         Pregnancy one thing that can be a blessing or a disaster; for a teen like me it was a disaster I did not want to face but I knew there was nothing I could do about it, I had done the deed and well he planted the seed.
"Ms. Jones would you like to know your options?"
          I already knew my options because of watching way too many teen pregnancy movies, option one abortion, no way in hell was I about to kill a tiny baby for no reason, option two adoption getting kicked out of my parents house and having nowhere to go then giving away a baby that got me in this mess, ha-ha no, finally option three keep the little "bundle of joy" get kicked out of my parents house and hopefully the father, my best guy friend, and his parents will take me in and help care for it.
         “Ms. Jones would you like to know your options?” this time she was more hurried when she said it so I shook my head and started gathering my things, but before I left the room the nurse stopped me and gave me instructions to stop by a local pharmacy and pick some folic acid, I thanked her and left. 
         As I headed to my car my phone vibrated signaling that I had a text, I reached and pulled my phone out of my purse, it was Jeremiah.  Jeremiah is my best friend ever; he is tall, skinny, with long, straight, black hair, and emerald green eyes.

Hey, how did everything go at the doctors?

         How was I going to respond to that “hey it was great and by the way I you know when we had sex, yeah well I got pregnant!” this was going to be absolute fun.

Hey, we need to hangout soon.
Is it okay if I pick you
up today?

         I started my long drive home.  I was thankful the free clinic was an hour away from my house because I needed the time to think, mainly of how my parents were going to react, they once told me and Megan that if either of us got pregnant before we graduated we were defiantly getting kicked out, and that really scared me.  My phone once again got me out of my thinking, before I looked at it I knew it was Jeremiah returning my message and I had a feeling he was going to say yes. 
         I waited about five minutes before I was home to check my inbox naturally his response was:

Sure I am really bored
Let’s go chill out at the bookstore
And grab some coffee.
         
         Exactly where I needed to be, buying books to further educate myself about pregnancy, you know the stuff they never taught you in health.  So I turned around and made the ten minute drive to his house.  He was waiting for me on his doorstep so all he had to do was climb into my car.
         Once we were in the car he started rambling about the show he went to the previous night, as he was talking I drifted back into how my parents were going to react, and I imagined me living on the streets with an infant needing new clothes, diapers and a bottle.  No one I knew for sure was going to care about me, I was a knocked up teen with a friend I fucked because of boredom “Lilith are you paying any attention to what I’m saying?” he was irritated and I could tell, I normally never ignored him or got lost in thought around him and I could not help it this time.  “Yeah, um…I am don’t worry you have my full attention.” he rolled his eyes and sighed, it was the kind of sigh that said I know something is wrong, you better spill before I ask, but the words did not come out so in a caring but very, very impatient voice he asked “What’s the matter?  You look stressed and well I can’t read you today.” Well now would be a great time to tell him because he is smart enough not to jump out of a moving vehicle, “You remember that one night?” he looked thoughtful and after a few minutes of silence he got the message loud and clear “Fuck, fuck, goddamn, piss, shit, fuck! You’re kidding right?  Of course you are not kidding, you never lie, and you would never lie to me.  When did you take the test or whatever?”  His voice was panicked and rushed, I knew he was not angry but a hell of a lot confused and scared like me.  “Today, I am sorry, I don’t know what to tell you, it’s your baby for sure though.” Then without my control I started crying, exactly what I needed to do, so I pulled into a parking lot and just let the tears flow while he stared at me shocked.
         I did not know what to tell him or what questions he had for me which made me cry even harder.
         After crying for what seemed like a lifetime I asked him if he wanted to be there for me or if he wanted to leave.  I got the “are you stupid look” and then he spoke trying to keep his voice down “Are you crazy?  Me, leave you, I have know you for five years Lil, and no I am not going to leave you never, especially now that you are having my baby,” I should not have been surprised but I was, I had given him the opportunity to bail on me and he didn’t, I spoke this time no louder than a whisper “What about our parents?” My voice shook.  “Well yours are going to be like see ya, and well mine the bohemian hippie freaks they are will most likely be like ‘Oh what a wonderful surprise, please come stay with us.’ and my mom will then say ‘let me be your midwife forget about the hospital and doctors,’ So I think we are taken care of in that part.”  I could not control my laughter because I knew that, that was exactly something his mom would say and because I never should have worried about that stuff.
         We were silent for a while so I started up the car again, but before I could start pulling out he stopped me, “Listen Lil I love you so much and I have never felt this way about anyone, mainly because I have never dated but that’s not the point, and I really think that this baby is going to be the best thing in my life besides you,”  his gentle words made me breathless, I felt the same way, I always had, but when he said those simple yet powerful words my face flushed and I lost it again.  Through tears I said “I love you too I could never tell you though I was way too scared and…I don’t know what else to say but yeah I love you!”  Baby or no baby I wish I could have told him that sooner, but since I did I felt relieved.  He was crying too at that point so we embraced and then out of nowhere he kissed me, it was unlike any kiss I had ever experienced, it was rushed but gentle, passion running through it, I could not believe this was the guy I had been friends with since I was eleven.  God he was an amazing kisser but I had to end it because my parents really needed to know, so I broke away from his kiss and pulled out of the parking lot heading in the direction towards my house.
         I drove so slowly because I really did not want to tell my parents about our mistake, no matter how amazing this mistake was.  “I am terrified,” he broke our comfortable silence, “Yeah my dad is going to kill you,” I managed to say half jokingly.  “Thanks that just made everything better.”  I pulled into my drive way and did not get out of the car, instead I just sat there for the longest time building up strength.  He was the first one out of the car and he forced me out, once again I was going as slowly as possible not wanting to face the people that waited till marriage before they had me or Megan, the people that paid for my extra tutoring, the people that chased my fears away.  I knew my mom was most likely going to side with dad so if he said out she was not going to argue, but before I would leave she would be up in my room helping me pack, crying with me, and hugging me before I left.
         I opened the door to the place I had called home since I was born.  I was happy to see my parents sitting on the couch watching TV. That saved me having to call them into one room worrying them.  “Mom, dad, um…can I talk to you?”  I was already pushing back tears and hoping that my eyes weren’t red from earlier.  They looked up and my dad turned off the television and told me to have a seat.  I did not know how to begin, it had been easy with Jeremiah because he caught on easily but my parents would not understand if I said “remember that one night,” so I said the easiest thing possible.  “I did something stupid.”  Great their worried looks spread across their faces and I could not continue, so Jeremiah being the great person he is took control of the situation, “Mr. and Mrs. Jones what Lilith means is that we did something stupid, we had sex, and I got her pregnant, we have not told my parents yet because we thought it would be best to tell you guys first.”  He said calmly but it did not help much because my dad got red in the face and before I knew it started yelling, “Well you should have told us last because you are not staying here.  I refuse to take care of my whore of a daughter and her stupid friend that knocked her up, and if I wanted to put up with another kid I would just had one instead of allowing my kids to have one!  Why can’t you be more like Megan she never pulls stupid stunts like this!”  Once he finished speaking my wonderful sister walked down the stairs into the living room wondering what made dad so upset.  Mom was in tears sitting on the couch but with a shaky voice she said “Come upstairs and we will get your things together sweetie, Jeremiah you come with us too, I don’t trust my husband to be alone with you.”  In anger filled voice my dad tried to oppose to me getting my things, but my mom quickly told him to calm down.  Megan in her innocent I never do anything wrong voice asked what I did and before I could answer dad started laughing “Congratulations Meg, you just got another room, your sister is moving out because that dumbass right there got her pregnant.”  He continued to laugh but Megan started crying with me and hugged me.  I was grateful for that hug it let me know that she cared and was probably going to go behind dad’s back to see me and her niece or nephew.  She went up the stairs with us and entered my room and grabbed my suitcases.
         All the girls in my old room were crying and I think Jeremiah felt left out because he could not work up the tears, only a blank face.  “Your dad will get over you having a baby and will forgive you.”  My mom shattered our silence and I was happy she did, “I am not worried about him he has always been an ass about things and very mean to me so he can shove it.”  Finally the words I have wanted to say since I was a preteen came out, ah, relief.  “I am sorry Lil you are going to be a great mom though!”  My sister said filled with optimism that wiped all our tears and sadness away and made me and mom laugh.
         We were almost finished with my bags when my dad walked in and told me that I had five minutes to leave he could not stand for me to be in his house any longer.  I was really happy that at this point in my life I had bought my own car and paid my insurance cause there was no way he could take away my only transportation to my new haven.