Rebirth of Rage

The struggle of a car's engine trying to start echoes in the cold winter air, once, twice, third time's the charm. Fiddling with the heater and the radio the man in the car sits in the parking lot surrounded with around a dozen other cars. His name is of no importance. The hot air blows from the vents, contrasting with the temperature outside the car as light snow falls on the ground. The date is February 4, 1994. His time of working is up and he's glad to be on his way home to see his wife and two children, he sighs as the car begins to move forward. Zooming down the street his mind is clear, he's only concentrating on his current activity, driving frees his mind and it's a pleasure to do, day in day out.

Fourth house down on the left is where he lives and happiness wells up deep in his heart as he approaches it. The car stops in the the driveway and the slow humming of the idling engine disappears, not a disturbance in the world. As he steps out he almost forgets his briefcase but remembers in time and his hand turns the doorknob as he approaches the front door. The door swings open as it has an unaccountable amount of times before but the man is aware that something is wrong. The air in the house is stagnant and there is nothing but silence. There's a problem. The man's heart starts to beat at five times it's normal pace and the silence deafens him. No pitter-patter of little feet, no hug from his wife, no welcome at all, where did they go?

He cautiously moves through the house, afraid that his heartbeat is audible. Nothing else fills his mind but his worries about his family. The living room enters his vision along with an unspeakably horrible sight. The silence is broken by the man as he falls to his knees, the floor is soiled with tears as they poor from his face like waterfalls. One, two, three bodies lay in the middle of the floor, his wife, poor Shannon, his oldest child, poor Jeffrey, and his youngest, poor Sarah. Blood covers the walls and the floor, the man's mind cannot process it all at once. He crawls over to the body of his wife, still beautiful in death, and he cups her head. His lips move but no sound comes out. He goes over to his children and shake them, saying "Wake up! Wake up!" but death has no ears.

He slowly gets to his feet and walks into the kitchen. Like a machine he dials 911 as he was told since youth to do in case of emergency. They say they'll be right over and to stay there, he hangs up and sits at the table in shock until they arrive. Being interviewed by the police just depress him more, he can't think of anyone who would want to do this to him and he tells them he didn't see anything but they ask him time and time again. They finally leave and he stays in a hotel for 3 days while his home is cleaned up. He manages to sleep, with the help of sleeping pills, but his dreams are haunted by his deceased family. "Why didn't you save us?" they ask, he blames himself for their deaths. He moves back into his house and tries to live as he did before but there's no point anymore, he finds no reason in going through his daily routine without his family. The house seems strangely large with him being the only one living there. At night he drinks and drinks trying to forget but can never do it, he sees the corpses of his family in his vision. He can't do this anymore.

On February 20, 1994 he makes up his mind. His steps echo in his ears as he walks to his garage. Where is it? he thinks to himself. His mind is not clouded, he is thinking clearly, carefully planning what he is about to do. He finally finds it, a bright orange extension cord. He re-enters the kitchen and goes down to his basement, bringing a chair from the dinning room table with him. The top of the cord hits the ceiling and wraps around the top of a pipe running across the room, the man grabs it with his other hand. He crudely fastens a noose out of it and , standing on the chair, wraps it tightly around his neck. He looks at the ceiling, or rather through it. There is no God, runs through his mind. No God would let this happen to him. He lived a good life, an honest life, no God would will this onto someone like him. He is no longer afraid, Gods Punishment is a lie, he will not go to Hell, it doesn't exist. All that follows the death of the body is nothingness. No pain, no thought, no more worries. He awaits it and welcomes it with open arms. With that he kicks the chair out from underneath him and falls. The date is February 20, 1994. A life is extinguished from the face of the Earth.

Existence looks on as this poor man removes himself from the Earth. There are many things that He cannot stand and suicide and murder are the worst of them. You must have courage and strength, the will to live on in the face of hardship. He shakes his head back and forth in disappointment. Normally when you die you are given peace, just vanish from existence, but this is not the case for those who kill themselves. They are placed back on the Earth to relive. Depending on your point of view this could be a second chance or a punishment yet Existence does not think of this.

This being reborn is normally not a problem as the person just lives their life unknowing of their life before but every once in a while something goes wrong. Their living mind becomes aware of their past life and the consequences of this happening are unpredictable.

"It's a boy!" says a man in a long white coat. "And a very healthy one at that. Here, hold him yourself."
He reaches out with the precious life in his hands and passes him to his mother, who has just suffered for many hours to bring him into the world.

"He's beautiful." says she, smiling a very large smile.
"He sure is." replies the father.
"So, what is his name going to be?" asks the doctor.
"James." says the mother proudly.
"What a nice name." he replies.

The new parents bring the child home and raise him as a proper human being. Violence is wrong, treat people like you would like to be treated, respect your elders, the normal things. He has the model childhood, makes plenty of friends, scrapes his knees. He never seriously disobeyed his parents, never smoked even in adulthood, didn't drink until he was 21, never snuck out after curfew. He met his future wife in high school, junior year, her name was Rebecca. It was basically love at first sight. They went to college where he studied to become an electrician while his love studied to become a teacher. When they graduated they were married immediately, a bid wedding for the small town that they live in, made the front page of the local newspaper. They now live in a modest house at the end of a street, 2 stories and around 5 acres of land around it. Two children, a boy and a girl, toss a ball back and forth while their mother watches. James is in the kitchen trying to fix the overhanging light that burnt out 3 hours before.

"I don't know what's wrong with it. I've never seen anything like this." The date is February 20, 2004. "Everything points to the wires not being complete but they look fine to me."

"Just be careful honey." says James' wife.
"Don't worry, I've done this hundreds of times." he replies with.

He reaches farther into the ceiling and touches a wire, not connected to the light, with no covering. A loud pop is heard and James falls off his ladder. To him it seemed like slow motion, just falling and falling. Then everything goes black, his head struck the kitchen table and knocked him out cold. A large gash opens in his head and the corner of the table is painted red, along with some of the wall close to it. His wife quickly jumps up and runs inside after telling the kids to stay where they are. She finds him unconscious, a pool of blood slowly forming under his head.

"Oh God!" she screams as she looks at her husband's limp body laying on the floor. She rushes to the phone and calls 911.

The ambulance gets to the house 5 minutes later and takes James away to the hospital a few miles away while his wife follows behind in their car. She's scared out of her mind, nothing like this has ever happened before, she doesn't know what to think, how to feel. She can tell the kids are scared as well.

"Don't worry kids. Daddy's going to be okay." But is he? He had a pretty deep gash in his head, lots of blood. The doctors will fix him. He won't die, he can't.

Though she is only half right.

"Honey! Honey!"

James' eyes flicker a couple of times and then fully open. He wears a surprised look on his face, no idea where he is or how he got there. The last thing he remembers he was reaching up into the ceiling and then he wakes up here.

"Where... am I?" he asks, confused.

The doctor walks in. "You were electrocuted and then opened a large gash in the side of your head. You lost a lot of blood but you're alive. Do you feel alright?"

"Yeah, fine. I hit my head? That's the first time I've been electrocuted in my 10 years of working as an electrician." He grins widely. "Guess it was bound to happen sooner or later eh?"

"James, you almost died!" his wife yells angrily at how calm he is.
"But I'm not right? That's all that really counts." Optimist as always.

His wife just turns around and shakes her head. She can't believe he can be so calm after a near death experience. The doctor approaches her and lays his hand on her arm.

"You and the kids must be tired, why don't you go home? We'll need to keep him for a few nights just to make sure he's okay."

She turns around to her husband with a sad look on her face.
"You'll be okay?" she asks, worried about his health.
"Yeah. You guys go, I'll be there in a few days." he says comfortingly.

She exits the room and smiles as she sees the kids lying up against each other asleep in the hallway. She doesn't want to wake them but can't carry both of them. They slowly come out of their sleep and follow their mom, asking if daddy is going to be okay. Sure he is she says. Of course. They drive home and sleep well.

James just lies back in his hospital bed. He's worried as well. He scared his family and that scares him. What would they do if he died? They'd be fine financially but what about emotionally? He needs to be more careful. No, he can't let those thoughts enter his mind, they just depress him and he needs to get some sleep. His eyelids are heavy, he hadn't noticed it before. Slowly they slip over his eyes and finally lock shut, sleep taking him.

Life, death, murder, blood, loss, depression, emptiness, suicide. Thoughts fly by through his mind, he can't keep up with them all. Slipping past, slipping past. Images then, bodies, dead, who? blurry, can't see. Gray, cold, staring. Into his soul. Who are they? Why are they there? Why are they there? Who killed them? They just stare straight through him, their cold eyes. There are 3: a woman, blonde hair, around 30; 2 kids, one a boy the other a girl. They blame him. Why? He's never seen them before. Who is this? A man. Walking into the room, falling to his knees, moving over to the corpses. He cries, his tears falling onto their bodies. They're his family. Why is this happening? Why is he dreaming this? The woman's face comes into view. What happened? Those cold eyes staring. This is the man's point of view. He's the man? Standing up, walking into the kitchen, calling the police. Can't live any longer. No point. Suicide? Still from the man's point of view. Garage, cord, chair, pipe. Jump, fall, tighten. Black robe. Bony hand reaching out. Death? Bone meets flesh, he takes off his hood, who is this? Another man. Smiling, grinning, he knows something. What? Mouth moves. Open, close, round, close, round, open, close. I... something. Three words, what is he trying to say? Again and again and again he makes the same words. They make sense now. I killed them I killed them I killed them. Smiling wider and wider. Him? He keeps repeating it over and over, the image gets blurry, can't see anymore.

James wakes up screaming in a cold sweat, a nurse runs in, worried, but James just says that he had a nightmare. But it was so realistic, it seemed like he was actually there, everything was so clear. Who were those people? He puts his face in his hands. That face a the end, so horrible. He can't get it out of his mind, it just stays in his vision, he can't forget it. The very embodiment of evil

"I'd like to check out these please." says James to the librarian.
She's shocked by the size of the pile of books in front of her. She can't even see over them.
"A-all these books? There has to be 20 here at least." she responds.
"Yes, please." he lets out politely with a large grin around the pile of books.

James goes back to his house, his backseat filled with books on a certain topic, sparked by his dream and the subsequent days of thinking of what it could mean. He was the man in the dream, that was certainly the message his dream was trying to convey. That bastard had killed his family. He had earlier looked through newspaper headlines and finally found one that fit the bill. "TRIPPLE MURDER, WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN", it just brought a tear to his eye, those were members of his family, dead. A few weeks later there was another headline, "MAN FOUND HUNG IN BASEMENT", that was him. There was no evidence left behind by the murderer, though there was a police sketch. It looked almost exact to the face in his dream underneath the hood. There was an investigation but it was very short, there was nothing to go on but a police sketch and that didn't lead to anything. The case just went cold.

Now, as he's driving home, he's wondering about how he's going to make the bastard pay. He couldn't just knock randomly at ever house he could find until he found the guy. And where would he even begin? There's no reason for him to think he's still living near the house where he murdered his family. In fact he'd be insane to stay anywhere near that house after committing that heinous crime. Trying to find him would be like finding a needle in a haystack, or better yet in a hay farm.

When he gets home he takes all those books out of his car and just places them all on the table. He then sits down and starts reading about reincarnation. Other than to work and to get 5 or so hours of sleep he spends his time reading these books. The sound of pages flipping fills the house all the time as James reads every last word of every last book on the table. His wife worries about his newfound obsession but he assures her that everything is fine, it's just a hobby. But he's distant, all he does is read those books on the table. Even when he finishes them all he reads them again and again. Eventually he starts staying out late at night and doesn't tell her where he has been going. She's scared of what her husband is becoming.

One night he's out at around 11:00 PM in a bad part of town, dark alleys all over the place, homeless people lying all over the place, boarded up windows, all the stuff you'd think about when you think of a run-down neighborhood. He's found someone that could help him. Three blocks down he finds the building he's looking for, it's a private investigator to help him find the bastard that killed his family. He pays him as much as he asks, which is quite a lot but he believes it's worth it. He also gives him the police drawing of the man he wishes to find and tells him that it's the only thing he can help him with.

"It's going to be tough with only this drawing but I'll try my best." he says.

He doesn't ask any questions that aren't necessary to finding the guy, why he wants to find this guy or why he's giving him a police drawing to go off of. It's none of his business. James thanks him for his help and goes back home. The cold air blows against his face as he walks down the street, he wonders if he'll even find the guy. As he approaches his house he fumbles for his keys and tries to be as quiet as he can, he hates to go behind his wife's back but she wouldn't believe why he's doing it. He goes inside but when he's hanging his coat up...

"Where have you been?" James is startled so badly that he almost falls to the floor.
"W-what are you doing!? You almost scared me to death!" he screams as he clutches his chest and tries to get ahold of himself.

"What am I doing? What are you doing? It's nearly 2 in the morning. Where have you been?"
"I was taking a walk." he replies nervously.

"A walk? At 2 in the morning? It was something to do with that dream you had. Your other family. What were you really doing?" she's really angry, but she's worried about him.

"I was... uh... hiring a PI." he manages to get out.
"A... an investigator? Why?" she's utterly shocked at this realization.
"To find the man in my dream. Remember? I found a police sketch of him, it looks exactly the same as the guy in my dream. I have to find him."

"This obsession is taking over your life, honey. You have to stop this. The guy in your dream probably looks like the sketch because your mind remembers it like that after seeing the sketch. This thing is taking over your life, I mean look at you, you have deep bags under your eyes, they're bloodshot, and you just stare off into space sometimes. You need to stop this. How about we take a vacation? Just me and you, we can leave the kids with somebody. Just get away, how does that sound?"

Her argument penetrated deep into James' mind and moved around challenging everything that he has thought the last few weeks. Should he give up? Is if really worth giving up his life now to avenge a family he had in a past life? She may be right too, what if all of this is just his mind making things up? She's right is the result his mind comes up with. He just embraces her, acknowledging that he accepts her suggestion. He does need a vacation, to just get away from it all.

Maine is so beautiful in the autumn. Just the crisp, clean air and the leaves falling off the trees. It feels like heaven. This vacation really did James some good, his mind is almost completely clear now. No more thinking about the happenings of times gone past, no looking for somebody who may or may not be who James thinks he is, just traveling around the beautiful state of Maine enjoying the sights and sounds, the air and the sunlight.

"Uh-oh, the tank's almost out of gas." James' wife notices. In a little bit they're just going to be coasting. "Oh, wait, there's a gas station a few miles up. We should have enough to get there, don't you think?"

They pull into the gas station, pretty small place, only 2 gas pumps but there was nobody else there so they didn't have to wait to get one.

"I'm gonna go in and use the restroom. Maybe get a newspaper." says James, happier than he's been for a while.
This gas station doesn't even have automatic doors. It's kind of refreshing to see all this small town business stuff, compared to all the big business back home. He pushes the door open, the bell dings and the man at the counter greets him then continues to talk to someone at the counter. James goes into the back and uses the restroom, then decides to buy a soda as well as a newspaper. He walks up to the counter and hears what the two men are talking about.

"C'mon Jack I don't know anything about these kinds of things." says the man at the counter.
"Well, I can't just abandon my store to go install your light can I? I'm the only one who works here, I got nobody to cover me."

"Nobody ever comes here anyway! You've had 3 customers in 6 hours, just put the closed sign out and come help me."

"Well look at this guy here. He's not from around here. See? If I closed the store I'd be inconveniencing people like him. So what d'you want guy?

"Uh... just this soda and newspaper. Hey, I couldn't help but overhear your problem uh..."
"My name's Fred" says the man at the counter. He turns around and hold his hand out to shake James' hand.

As James grasps this man's hand his mind is assaulted as he stares into this man's eyes. Rage just build up in his chest as he recognizes this face in front of him. It's the man from his dream and the police sketch. It aged about 30 years, he looks about in his late 60s. James manages to keep himself in check and greets Fred.
"So what were you saying about my predicament uh..."

"James, sorry. Yeah, well you need help installing a light, I'm an electrician. I could help you with that." he manages to fake a smile, feeling like he was going to attack this man at any moment.

"Oh really!? Wow, looks like I just found myself a new friend, eh Jack?" he does a sort of elbow nudging action and winks. "Well, you're a life-saver pal. Could you possibly do it now? Oh, by the way, what're you doing in this place?"

"Just traveling on vacation, seeing the countryside. And sure, I don't have anything better to do than drive around, just let me tell my wife and we can go."

James walks out of the gas station and almost bursts out laughing. He finally found the guy! Or rather the guy found him. What a coincidence. Or is it more than that? He approaches the car and tells him he's going to go help this guy out and for her to just drive around and do whatever she wants for a while. He doesn't know how long it'll take.

James and Fred leave in Fred's run-down truck, it taking 3 turns of the key to start it. James tried his hardest to keep looking straight ahead and not stare at the bastard sitting next to him.

"So, you're just traveling around? It is very pretty isn't it? I'm used to it though, lived here for a pretty long time. You got any kids, James?"

So you can kill them like you killed my kids before!? he thinks to himself, relieved that he didn't scream it out loud.
"Y-yeah, 2 of them. You want to see some pictures?"
"Not right now, maybe later." he replies.

The rest of the drive was practically silent. Thoughts were flashing through James' mind a mile a minute. What should he do? He finally found the man he was looking for, should he take his revenge? Should he do as his wife said and just forget it? Now that he has the opportunity he starts having second thoughts, wondering if he has the guts to actually go through with it.

"We're here." Fred blurts out when they reached his house.

It was a pretty modest house, only one story. They got out of the truck and went inside. A dog ran up to James and jumped on him. It was a pretty big dog, though James couldn't tell exactly what breed it was. Fred told the dog to get down and he led James into one of the bedrooms. There was a small hole in the ceiling and a fan with a light on it sitting on the bed.

"Well here's the thing. I tried reading the instructions but didn't know what the hell they were talking about. You know how hard those things are to read dontcha?"

"Yeah, they can be a real hand-full. This shouldn't take very long, maybe an hour at the most. You got a wrench I could use?"

"Yeah, sure."

Fred leaves the room and you could hear him going down into the basement. Good, he has a basement. After a couple of minutes he returns with a large wrench in his hand.

"I didn't see anything in the instructions about using a wrench." he says, thinking it strange that there would be any need to use a wrench to put up a fan light.

"Yeah, well, using a wrench makes things a bit easier." After he says this he quickly swings the wrench and strikes Fred in his left temple. His eyes roll up into his head and he collapses to the floor in a heap on the floor. James throws the wrench onto the bed grabs him by his arms and drags him away. Much easier, he thinks.

The world finally comes rushing back. His vision unfocused, Fred blinks and blinks to try and see right. Where am I, he wonders to himself? The pain floods back all at once and he groans. Hurts like hell. He turns his head side to side, I'm in the basement? How did I get here? He looks down and he's tied to a chair, he can't move his arms at all.

"Oh! So you're awake. It's been about 2 hours, I was getting bored." he walked over, got another chair and sat down in it the wrong way. "Your light's still broken by the way." He laughed a little bit.

"What the hell are you doing!? You knock me out and tie me up, what did I ever do to you!?"

Fury enters James' eyes but then is diluted by sorrow. He stands up and walks toward a small window in the corner of the room.

"You've forgotten? You commit such a heinous act and then go and forget about it!? You have this house, you live in such a beautiful environment, you have a good life. You don't deserve it! Karma should have bitten your ass off long ago but here you are..."

"What the hell are you talking about? Heinous act? How dare you go and..." He cuts off and stares at his feet. James slowly turns around just stares at him. "How can you know? I thought I got away from all that. But how did you come to know this?

"Triple Murder, Wife and Two Kids. Man Found Hung in Basement." Fred just stares at the ground shaking his head, tears drip from his eyes. "Ring a bell? You killed my family."

Fred jerks his head up in shock. "Your family? I saw your family earlier today, they were perfectly fine. Besides you'd be around my age by now. Why are you doing this?"

"I already gave my reason. I don't know how and I don't know why I'm here right now but you killed my family and you're going to pay for it."

He lunges and strikes Fred in the face, the sound of his nose breaking is louder than the sound of the impact. Fred cries out in pain as blood rushes from the wound and down his face. James backs up and shakes his hand through the air. Fred's head slumps down and the blood drips to the floor. Tears fall as well.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It was a long time ago, I was just a stupid kid. I didn't want to hurt anyone. Please! Don't do this! Don't make the same mistake I did." He shakes his head back and forth. "I've been tormented by that act for my entire life. I can never do anything to repent for it, I've already faced that I'm going to Hell. Just let me live the rest of my life in peace, God will punish me."

The room was silent except for the muffled sobs of Fred. James walks up to him and lifts his head up, speaking directly into his tear soaked face.

"You expect me to forgive you? You brutally murdered my family in cold blood. My wife. My two kids. Three lives taken by your hand, just left to rot on the floor. I couldn't really care less what God will do to you, I will judge you right here."

James turns around and walks up the stairs while Fred can do nothing but pray to God for this man to leave him alone. God! I've committed a terrible sin, I know this and I'm not expecting you to forgive me but you can't let this go on. Please, don't let this continue. James comes back down the stairs with...

"No, stop! In the name of God, you won't be able to get away with this, you'll be locked up, executed. Don't ruin your life like this! Help! Help me! Somebody!" He slumps again and tears continue to flow.

"Nobody's going to hear you, you know better than I do that you don't have any neighbors close enough." He swings the wrench up to his hands. "Goodbye".

Instinct takes control and James swings the wrench back and forth as he spills the blood of the man who killed his family. Thud after thud broken up sometimes by the breaking of bones. James is basically running on automatic by now, watching himself beat this old man to a bloody pulp. The time flies by and by the time he's finished it's been an hour and a half. The time is 8:00 PM.

The wrench falls to the floor and causes the room to ring. James slowly backs away treading bloody footprints as he goes. He flops in a chair totally exhausted and lets his head fall into his hands. His hands are covered in blood and now so is his face and now tears fall from his eyes too. The man he had been looking for is now dead, his life snuffed out, but James doesn't feel like he thought he would. He raises his head and stares at his hands, died red. What have I done? he thinks. He looks over to the body across the room. He doesn't even look the same as he did before, barely recognizable.

He vomits. This is nothing like he imagined it. He's not a strong enough person to cope with it. He took a life with his own hands, he avenged his family but he doesn't feel better. Why? How did this man live with what he did? This was only one person but he had three weighing on his conscience. How? Cries fill the room, James slams his face back into his hands and breaks down. Tears like a river fall.