I Live With A Wolf

One day I woke up and said  " Self, you are going to get a life ". I had been in a two year long slump harboring self pity, resentment, regret and sorrow and it was time to knock it off.

I looked up a man I had been in love with for eon's. My friends did not like this idea at all. He didn't work, he didn't have alot of possessions, he had several failed relationships, the whole scenario did not sit well with my friends. I saw something completely different.  I saw a kind heart, a free spirit, a man who knew nature, he was proficient in mountain survival, appreciative of the small miracles in life. He was handsome and built well, every move he made, made me want him. He ran in the woods and that was just perfectly fine for him.

I drove up to his home and he appeared peaceful, confident, and radiant. We have been friends for years but it was time to really know him. I had heard he fulfilled one of his life long yearnings and that was to raise a wolf.  That is when I met Apache, his wolf. Apache stands about six foot tall on his hind legs and weighs about as much as a Volkswagon. He appears intimidating but all he wants to do is hug you to death. He is grand and beautiful. A gentle and kind nature much like his human counterpart. His fur is soft, his markings are splashed with hints of camoflouge and knowledge. His eyes engaged my soul and I became one with his .

Our adventure began with a trip to Trout Creek. I had my German Shepard with me. She was almost a year old. Apache and Kida fell in love at first sight. They ran for hours, romping through the brook, chasing each other through the lush grass, tackling each other and exalting in Being. Before we knew it darkness was upon us and we decided to make a camp.

  We would camp for two months together, the man , the woman, the wolf and the dog. I never missed the city, the comforts of home. Everyday was an adventure. We built a teepee, a huge fire pit, basked in the sun by the creek, made friends with the Hawk, the Raven, the Earth. We would run with the wolf , we all became One.

I do not know if you have ever experienced living with a wolf but they are passionate, curious, intelligent, gentle but if anything threatens their pack they become a killing machine. It is like a Jekyll-Hyde syndrome. It raises the fur on the back of your neck. Then just as if nothing happened they return this beautiful loving creature. You stand there in awe because it was so natural for them. Our days became weeks, weeks into months.

I had never felt so safe, loved or grounded in my entire life. As with all great things they must come to an end. Kida and I departed, return to reality. We left with heavy hearts and drove back to city life.

Apparently, Apache was not faring well either. He wouldnt eat, paced, turned ominous, a wolf's grief is universal you can feel it in the air. A week later I returned. It was not difficult at all returning to my untamed, unrestrained, undomesticated ways. Life is made for living. A wolf breathed life into me, a man took care of me . I sit among the rocks and tree's as if I belong. I run with the wolf and I belong.