Sticks and Stones

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.’
That’s the biggest lie anyone has ever told me. And what hurt the most was that it came from the person I trusted most in the entire world, the only person I felt ever really understood me for who I was. He never judged me.  Not ever. He was always there for me, unfailingly. A willing shoulder to cry on, a sturdy support to lift my spirits and pick me up when I was down.
All lies.
I can’t even think about him now. It’s too painful, I can’t. I don’t want to…
No, wait. Yes I do. It’s the only way to move on from his lies and try to understand why.
It seems so long ago now, that he left me, left us. I couldn’t believe it when he broke the news, that he was going away and not coming back. All the pathetic excuses. He couldn’t not love my mother, my sister, me. It was unthinkable. I was numb, past anger. I couldn’t be angry, I couldn’t feel anything. Just numbness.
He told me her name was Claire. I hated it, her name tasted bitter in my mouth as I spat it out, saying it silently over and over, trying desperately to regurgitate her, make her leave my head, but she never left my thoughts. She was the reason my life had been torn apart… It was all her fault.  It had to be. She was the one who stole him, corrupted my father. He didn’t belong to her, he was mine, ours. He belonged with his family. He would never have done this on his own. She poisoned his mind.
Every day I’d question him. Why? Why her? He’d never answer me.  He’d react like I was tormenting him endlessly for my own enjoyment, but I’d never hurt him. Not ever, because I knew he hadn’t wanted this. I was sure of it; he couldn’t have wanted to leave. Not really.
One day, I questioned him again. He turned to me and sighed wearily.
‘But you know why. You don’t need to keep asking.’
‘Yes I do.’
‘I love her’.
I love her. Isn’t it funny how three little words can break someone’s heart and yet make someone else’s completely whole at the same time?  That old saying he taught me so long ago needed some revising, I thought to myself.
‘Sticks and stones do break my bones, but words hurt most of all.’