When You Love a Wolf: Oh, Boy

“Oh, Boy”

"Oh boy, if you ever have to let me down in this world, my life surely would be upside down... Oh yeah, let me look into your deep brown eyes. Let me share every moment, every sweet surprise." - Duffy

I woke to find Liam gone and the sun shining through the window. I lifted my head up high enough off the pillow to see the clock. It was ten. It felt so much earlier. I considered closing my eyes and drifting back off. I was so tired. My body felt like it had completely quit on me.
         “Ouch,” I hissed at a hard kick on my side. The baby hadn’t quit on me. He or she must have woken. Another kick pulsed against my side. “Jeeze, pup, I know you’re your daddy’s baby, but goodness… No need to beat me up. It’s not my fault I fell in love with him,” I sighed, rolling onto my back, placing my hands on my stomach. I massaged gently, rubbing over my entire belly. “Please, go back to sleep?” An answering kick tapped my hand.
         “Someone keeping you up?”
         I looked up to find David standing in the doorway, a water bottle in his hand. I smiled, pulling myself up to sit. “Yeah, they get it honest,” I answered, grunting at another kick. “Aren’t they supposed to be quieter by this point?”
         “Not always. Liam’s mother said she could feel him until only a few hours before he was born,” the tall, lanky male responded. He laughed. “But, that woman was crazy.” He came around and sat at the foot of the bed. “Here. Drink up. You don’t want to get dehydrated.” His hand extended the plastic bottle.
         I took it, unscrewing the lid. I brought it to my lips and sipped. It was cold and tasted so amazing. I gulped it down. I only stopped for breath once and it was then I realized I had already drank half of it. “Oops,” I murmured. “I probably should save this…” I trailed off, looking at him apologetically.
         “There’s plenty. You drink what you need. You feel okay?”
         I nodded slowly, taking another sip. “Yeah, just worried. I’ve never done this before. I’m a little freaked out.” I placed my free hand over the top of my belly. “No morning sickness yet, which is a nice plus,” I added. I looked up to see him staring down at my midsection and all its massive glory. “I think I qualify to be the next discovered planet.”
         He smiled, chuckling. “You’ll be fine. We’ll get you taken care of. Both of you.” He looked up at me, his dark eyes softer. “Liam’s so proud of you, Violet. He never stops saying it. He’s proud of you, and what you two have. He loves you so much.”
         My eyes began to tear up. “And I love him,” I replied. “More than he could ever imagine.” I opened my mouth to say something more but a hard hit on my side made me hiss slightly. “God, I think I’m having a baby that’s already trained in jujitsu.”
         David laughed. “Get some rest if you can.”
         I looked up at him, puzzled. “You don’t want me to do anything? Inventory? Dishes? I could cook or—” He cut me off.
         “No, Violet. The only thing I want you doing is resting. In a couple of weeks, you won’t have time to.” He patted my knee. “Call me if you need anything. Tony’s around too. If you can’t get junior there to settle down, try a hot bath or walking around. Sometimes babies just need to know someone’s there before they settle in.”
         I nodded quietly, watching him go. He closed the door behind him after turning and smiling at me once more. I sighed softly, looking down at my belly. “You know I’m here, don’t you? We have long talks all the time. Even Daddy talks to you,” I told the baby, rubbing over the place where I had last felt the kick. No response bubbled up from under my skin. “That’s better.”
         After a few more minutes of just sitting still and enjoying the quiet silence, including the quiet from my baby, I decided to get up and move around. I needed to do something, no matter what David said. I couldn’t lie in bed all day and watch TV or read. Climbing up, I found my jeans and slipped into them, leaving Liam’s shirt on. The cabin was kinda cool still, and the warm flannel was a comfort. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun at the back of my head and slipped into my sneakers. I didn’t bother tying them, seeing as I could barely reach them if I bent over.
         I made my way downstairs, hearing Tony and David’s voices come from the basement door. I peeked down the dim stairwell, sniffing. It reeked of a moldy, musty smell that made me feel nauseated. I had been lucky so far to not throw up this morning. I didn’t want to start now. I snuck past the door and into kitchen, finding leftovers from David’s cooking waiting. He must have known I was going to come down and eat at some point. I couldn’t stay away from food anymore. If it wasn’t the baby on my mind, Liam, zombies, or angry Hell Hounds, my mind was fantasizing about food.
         The biscuits were cold and the butter was partially melted. But I didn’t care. I helped myself, gorging myself on the bread and a few pieces of bacon that had been left out. An apple sat on a napkin with my name scribbled on it. They were still making me eat healthy too. I snatched the granny smith apple and looked at it. I had never started an apple on my own until I got pregnant. Before the baby, I would never take the first bite of an apple. A dumb thing, but true. I had learned how when my cravings for them grew too strong when there was no one around to bite one for me.
         Now, I took a huge hunk of a bite out of it, grabbing one of the boys’ sweatshirts from the back of a chair and opening the back door to find myself in a nice little backyard space complete with a faded and practically empty sandbox and a tire swing tied on to the branch of the nearest tree. A path led up to the little shack, most likely used as a garage at one point. I glanced back through the window in the door to find no one had come up out of the basement yet. I turned back to the path that led up to the garage and decided to follow it up the hill a little ways. It wouldn’t hurt to get some exercise at this point. I needed it. Before long, I would be stuck upstairs, caring for a baby twenty-four seven. I might as well enjoy getting out while I could, pregnant or not.
         The dirt pathway led up to the shack and around the corner, further up the hill. Seeing as no one had come running after me to stop me, I decided to push myself a little further. I inhaled deeply, pausing for a breather. James and Liam had been here at some point. I could smell them still. Probably from their sweep of the area they had most likely performed this morning. I wonder where they were now. I inhaled again, following their trail up the ridge. I took another bite of my apple, pausing again to look back the way I came one last time. Still no shouting from down the hill from Tony or David to come back. All the better. No one to interrupt my quiet afternoon.
         I continued on, stopping to smell Liam’s trail every once in awhile. I wished he was here. Even though I always had craved independence and privacy, I still wanted Liam. Always. Following his old scent trail made me just want to Change and race through the woods to find him. But he could be anywhere.
         The trees were barren of leaves, allowing the blue sky to seep through the white and brown trunks and branches that stretched up from the dark earth and deep green moss. I inhaled again, smelling Liam, James, and all the wonderful smells of the woods. Oh, I had missed this so much. I hadn’t Changed in at least two weeks. My skin was crawling to do it again. But it was too close to my due date, only three more weeks away. I was afraid of what a Change this close to the end would do. And I dared not to try it. Not until after the baby was born.
         I inhaled again, finding a deer trail to the northeast. A rabbit trail followed it before darting across my own path and heading south. James and Liam had been through here, scouring every inch of the grounds surrounding the cabin. The wind carried their scent, even though it was hours old. They hadn’t been here since dawn. I hadn’t even remembered Liam getting up, even though I always do. I stretched my arms out and arched my back. I noticed in the last few days breathing had become somewhat easier. David said my baby had dropped… which I’m guessing meant he or she lowered them self closer to the top of the birth canal.
         God, giving birth scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to do this, out here with no doctor, no midwife, no painkillers…
         Back home, I would’ve had Mary, Bridgette, or one of the other women at least, to tell me what to expect. But now, I was stuck in the woods, far away from civilization, with a bunch of boys. Sure, David had apparently been there when Liam was born and sort of knew what to do, but that didn’t really ease my worries. I had laid What to Expect When You’re Expecting out, hoping Liam or David would see and maybe get curious enough to flip through it. Hoping was just an understatement. I was praying they would see it.
         I shook my head, refusing to think about it anymore. I was done worrying. It would go how it was supposed to go, nothing more to it. I was just gonna have to suffer through the pain when the time came and cherish the result of partial death. That was okay. If it hadn’t been, I never would’ve asked to try for a baby in the first place.
         I continued along the path, coming to the edge of the ridge. It overlooked a huge valley that ran deep and long. Frost still clung to the shaded areas down in the gulf of the valley, even though I wasn’t cold. Up on the ridge in the sun, it was warm enough for me to get away without a heavy coat. My flannel shirt and sweat shirt was enough. I had finished my apple off, tossing the core into the dirt for birds or squirrels or whatever else might find it appetizing. An old log sat against the path, like a bench, looking out over the skyline of the slopes and their many trees. I sat down on it, unable to cross my legs, but instead sat with them sprawled out like a boy. I rubbed my belly gently, feeling a slight cramp in my side. I sighed, letting my eyes glaze over and think about nothing. It felt nice to sit in the near silence of the forest.
         My eyes closed as a breeze brushed my face and stirred my bangs, making them dance across my forehead and tousle themselves. I reached up to comb them straight with my fingers. This was nice. I sighed deeply again, thinking about “cleansing breaths, and a clean aura” and all that stuff that people say is good for your soul and your chi.
         My peaceful silence didn’t last long…
         “Violet!” a deep voice came yelling up the slope.
         I groaned, ignoring it, pretending I was oblivious. The boys could allow me this a few more minutes.
         “Violet!” came another, lighter voice. I opened one eye, glaring down the ridge back towards their voices. I couldn’t see the cabin anymore, but I knew it was Liam and Tony yelling for me. I decided to ignore them a little longer, looking back out over the gorgeous scenery.
         “Violet! Where the fuck are you?” Liam shouted, his tone filled with anger and worry. They were getting closer.
         “Liam, I can smell her. She went up this way.” That was James’s voice. I hadn’t picked up his scent when I had first discovered they were looking for me. That was kinda sad, considering I was the tracker of the group. Even sadder was the fact my nose was even more sensitive while pregnant.
         “Violet!” Tony and Liam chorused again.
         “Violet, if you don’t answer me right now—!” Liam continued.
         “I’m right here!” I shouted finally, looking over my shoulder. “Jesus, can’t a woman get a little peace and quiet around here?” I added, still loudly but more for my own benefit of sarcasm.
         “You had me worried sick, bitch,” Tony cajoled, laughing, as they came around the corner on the path.
         “Can it, Tony,” Liam snarled, stalking towards me. “Why didn’t you answer me the first time I called?”
         “Because I was trying to just relax. You think I want you in my face all the time?” I asked, not appreciating how pissy he was being. “I wanted some alone time, away from boys, away from troubles, away from everything but what’s natural for us.” I made a swooping gesture with my arm, indicating I had meant the quiet of the woods. “Can I not have that? Or now because of ‘my condition,’ I have to stay put all the time like a pup? No thank you.”
         He sighed heavily, glancing at James and Tony who stood quietly, pretending they weren’t really paying attention. Liam’s dark eyes turned back to me, less hard than before. “I’m sorry, babe. You just freaked me out… Anything could’ve happened to you and I wouldn’t have known. C’mon, let’s go back.”
         I simply glared at him through my eyelashes. Really? I just wanted to be left alone. Oh god, I was on the verge of a pregnancy hormone breakdown again. Fighting always did this to me. I blinked heavily, looking away to fight back the tears. I had to bite my lip to keep it from quivering. All I wanted to do was snap at him about wanting some independence and less troubles and to be happy again. At home. With our pack. With our family. I couldn’t have that here…
         I looked up at the blue sky, blinking at the sun to keep my tears from falling. Damn pregnancy hormones.
         “Violet?”
         “Oh for god’s sakes, c’mon,” I snapped, hauling myself to my feet with difficulty. “I should unpack and try to get something done anyway.”
         “How about we go back and rest?”
         “That’s what we always do. I’d rather do something to keep busy.” I started off down the slope, leaving the three of them. I didn’t care if I was waddling and looked like a duck; the point was to get to the bottom of the hill and back in the house before Liam. He kept a few steps behind me, Tony and James flanking him several steps back. They knew better than to get in the middle of this. When I got past the shed and rounded the corner, I looked up to notice David standing on the back porch, waiting. I sent him a look, knowing he’d sent them after me. “Hey, Dave,” I said, breezing past and into the house. He followed me in, cutting Liam off.
         “We were just worried, Violet,” he soothed before Liam could start it up again.
         “Yeah, I know,” I answered, still continuing to the stairs. “I’m gonna do some cleaning. Call me down when we’re ready to do discuss the plan.” I made up the stairs as quick as I could, shoving the door shut behind me. I didn’t want them up here with me. I wanted to be left alone to clean and nest and seethe on my own. Once the door was closed, I stopped in the middle of the room, out of breath. I took a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth. I did two more, feeling better. The baby kicked against my belly button.
         “It’s okay, baby,” I said softly, placing my hand there. “We’re fine.” I looked around the room, deciding on working on making the bed first. I tried to ignore Liam’s fuming downstairs to his father.
         “What the fuck was she thinking?”
         “She just wants some freedom, chief. She gets cramped up like this. She doesn’t know what she’s doing or how to handle it. Sometimes a little alone time is what she needs, out in the fresh air,” David answered.
         “Still… She could’ve left a note or something. Or at least told you where she was going.”
         I rolled my eyes. A note. What was I, fifteen? I continued on my bed-making project. I pulled the pillows up straight and then the sheets, finding it hard to stay balanced, leaning over like this. I had to keep one hand on the mattress to steady myself.
         I got the sheet up on one side, and then the comforter. I moved to the other side of the bed, ignoring the steps on the stairs.
         Liam opened the door, looking at me. I sent him one glance and went back to what I was doing. He closed the door quietly. “Baby, I’ll do that. You shouldn’t bend over.”
         “I’m fine,” I said slowly, sending him another look. “I’m gonna be doing it for the next few weeks to get stuff ready. I might as well get used to it. My back doesn’t hurt that bad,” I added, this time more calmly. I sighed great big as I stood back up straight after setting the pillows against the headboard. I closed my eyes, pressing my hands into the small of my back, arching to stretch. I turned to go into the bathroom and clean up. He followed me in.
         As I tried to put away the towels and hang them correctly on the bar, Liam kept getting in the way, not sure how to get in front of me to make me stop. I finally got frustrated when he blocked me from getting into the shower for the washcloths. “What are you doing?” I finally asked, glaring up at him.
         “I want you to stop. I want you to rest. It’s not good for you.”
         “Irish, I have spent the last three days in and out of a car or lying in a bed. I haven’t gotten to stretch my legs or burn down some physical energy of my own. I know I’m huge, and I know my feet are swollen. I know that my back is probably going to absolutely shatter if I don’t stop bending over or arching it. I know all that. But I can’t just sit. It makes me do nothing but think about the last two weeks and how hard they’ve been. All the blood, all the gunfire, all the death… It kills me a little bit. I don’t want to think about it, or worry. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to turn my brain off and run on autopilot for a little while.”
         I hadn’t realized I was crying until Liam wiped a tear from my cheek. He engulfed me in a sideways hug.
         “Me too, baby,” he answered me. “I freaked out when I thought you were gone. I was so afraid something had happened to you, and to our baby. I wouldn’t be able to live if I lost you,” he murmured, his arms wrapped around my shoulder. “I know you don’t want to, but please come lay down with me? I love you, and I don’t want to see you all upset just to clean an already spotless room.”
         I looked up at him, staring hard at his face. I didn’t answer him. Instead, I pulled his face down to mine, kissing him deeply. I didn’t want to lose this. And it hit me how dumb I really had been to go off alone. I should’ve taken David or Tony. I was so stupid. What if something really had happened to me and the baby? Selfish bitch…
         He returned my kiss, deepening it. His hands cupped my face, pushing my blonde locks away from our mouths. I was dying to press my hips to his like I used to before I got so big. He pushed against my belly gently, his hands skimming down my neck and shoulders to my hips. I grasped the chest of his t-shirt in my fists, holding it for comfort. I released it and grasped his shoulders. I pushed myself up on my tip toes to keep our kiss deep after we pulled back for air and came back. But the tip toes thing wasn’t working like it used to. I was too heavy to hold myself up that long anymore…
         Liam swooped his arms under my thighs with one swift motion, vaulting me as gently as possible onto the bathroom counter. My legs parted for him to stand between them. I leaned back and pushed my hips forward. They met his, the wetness of my pants meeting the long, hard length of him still beneath his own jeans. I shuddered, moaning in relief of that pleasure we used to experience all the time and now only on rare and special occasions. His mouth covered mine in another deep kiss before finding my neck, making me gasp again. I clutched at his back, damp beneath his t-shirt. I gripped the material, holding myself against him. He began to press harder against me in a rhythm, thrusting slowly, testing out how this experiment would work. I moaned again.
         It was the stimulation he needed, his hands shooting from holding me forward around my back to my pants. I had to keep myself at this angle now. He ran his hands down the outside of my thighs, still thrusting against my jeans. He took off one tennis shoe, then the other. Next his hands found the sweatshirt zipper, pulling it down, then the buttons on the flannel shirt. He leaned back to pull me up straight. He worked off my jacket and then the shirt, leaving me topless completely. Then my pants and panties were stripped off.
         Meanwhile, I was working on his belt buckle and his button and fly. Once I got that done, fighting for breath between fervent kisses and gasping, I yanked his shirt up and over his head. I tossed it aside as he shoved his jeans and underwear down. Liam stared at me for a long second, both of us breathing hard. I wanted him. He wanted me. He came forward and I wrapped my arms around his neck, his mouth smothering mine in a deep kiss of need and passion. He needed to be sure I was still alive. I could taste it in his kiss, saw it in his eyes. I needed him to still need me and love me.
         I angled my hips forward again, feeling him brush against me. I reached down to wrap my fingers around him. Liam gasped, shuddering. I ran my hand up and down, hard, squeezing, begging. The cool air of the bathroom seemed completely comfortable, considering the body heat flaring between us was making us sweat, wrapping us in our own bubble of atmosphere. I was wet and warm, a delicious feeling. The tip of him brushed against me again. “Now, baby, please,” I begged. We hadn’t made love in weeks. I was dying of need.
         In one smooth motion, he pushed in. We both gasped in the relief from the feeling of delicious friction. After that long second, he began to thrust, kissing me again. I ran my fingers through his hair briefly before having to wrap my arms and legs around his body to keep myself in this position. We abandoned kissing, his thrusting keeping us preoccupied with the feelings of pleasure down below. He buried his face in my hair, panting hot breath into my ear. I never felt so turned on. A soft sob escaped me when he changed his angle slightly, hitting everything I needed him to. I unhooked my legs from his waist, spreading them as far as I could, enjoying the feeling. We couldn’t do this laying down. I was too big. If we could’ve, I would have had him carry me to the bed before clothes came off. But this was good enough. I moaned again.
         “Oh, god, baby, you’re so tight,” he groaned.
         “Don’t get used to it. In a few weeks, it won’t be like this again,” I gasped in return, clutching his sweat-slicked back.
         He paused briefly. His face came to mine. I opened my eyes to look at him. “I don’t care,” he whispered, thrusting slower. He would pull almost completely out before coming back in. He repeated this while he talked, driving me crazy with need. “I don’t care because we’re having a baby. And I don’t care because I have you for the rest of my life. I don’t ever wanna lose you,” he finished, having trouble articulating as he began to near his end. I wasn’t far behind him.
         “I love you,” I answered before pulling his face back to mine for a kiss. When he broke it, I added, “God, you’re so hard and hot.”
         He chuckled, picking up his pace again. “You too,” he managed. He thrust hard against me once, holding it there. He grinned at my gasp of pleasure. I choked out a soft crying sound. “Again?”
         “Uh huh…” Oh, god, this felt so good.
         He did it again and again until he couldn’t hold back any longer and continued thrusting hard. “You there, baby?”
         I groaned, tightening my muscles around him as orgasm began to hit me. “Oh yeah,” I answered.
         He hit again and again, pushing all the right buttons. A few minutes later, he growled in relief of release and I moaned. We sat there, slumped against each other, for several minutes.
         “Damn baby, that was amazing,” Liam finally murmured.
         “Yeah…,” was all I managed to get out.