Esme's Divine Secret

ESME’S DIVINE SECRET



Sunlight sauntered into Esme's bedroom and gently warmed her skin. The brightness penetrated her eyelids as they trickled open. Squinting she rubbed her face on the warm spot of her pillow. The rush of morning hit her; she was awake. No more dream.

Esme bolted upright and looked at the vanity in the corner of her room. It wasn't glowing anymore. The mirror reflected images instead of a sparkling golden light that covered everything it touched in a gilded sheen. In her dream, she stood in front of it and stared into a swirling, liquid gold. A man emerged from the center of the spiral looking so small and far away. Her dream smelled like vanilla bean ice cream.

7:24, a minute before the alarm. From downstairs the rustle of a newspaper and the clinking of plates and forks resounded. She stretched herself out of bed and felt more awake than ever before. It had been hard for her to fall asleep because of her parents arguing but once she was out, she was out. She had heard the man in the light loud and clear as if he stood right next to her. She laughed at the funny things that he said, listened when he became very serious and promised to keep their secret.

At the breakfast table her parents sat across from each other not talking. Her father ate his cereal and drank his coffee while her mother had tea that smelled like cinnamon.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” they both said at different times. 

Her mother brought her a bowl of maple brown sugar oatmeal and apple juice. She stirred through the food and watched her parents avoid each other.

"Mom, can I walk to school today?" Esme asked.

Her mother looked as if she barely heard. She took a moment to comprehend the question and a smile spread across her face.

"No. You know that we all do not think that it is a good idea."

"Yeah but Gavin and Casey get to and they live on the next street over."

"I'm sorry Esme but the answer is no."

Esme foraged through her oatmeal with a spoon as she pouted. She knew that they weren't going to let her anyway so why did she even bother to ask. Her parents could be so annoying sometimes. 

Her dad was about to go to another job interview. He’d been going to lot of job interviews recently even though he already had a job. A few of the companies called back. Most didn’t. They'd been arguing about job interviews for the last bunch of weeks it seemed.

“Are you nervous about your interview?” Esme asked her father.

“Mm hmm,” he said with his face in his coffee mug not looking up from the newspaper.

“Where do you have to go for this one?”

“Sullivan’s Metal Works,” he said and then the first weird thing of the day happened. 

Esme scrunched her forehead as the word Sullivan’s trickled out of her father’s mouth. It hovered in the air in red smoke letters and fluttered around until it began to dissolve. The smell of lit matches lingered. Her father saw her making a face.

“It’s a metal fabrication company downtown. I applied to be a Quality Control Manager,” he said smiling at Esme. Quality, Control and Manager floated around his head in red smoke.

Esme was more baffled than scared. The smell had grown stronger and began to overpower the sweet aroma from her oatmeal.

“Good luck,” she said looking down into her gloopy breakfast not feeling very hungry all of a sudden.

Her mother cleared her throat, took a sip of tea and said, “Even though I called Sullivan’s and nobody seems to know that he’ll be in for an interview today.”

Her father tossed his spoon down into his bowl, Esme jumped.

“It was obviously some kind of mix up,” he said.

Mix up hovered across the table. The smell was beginning to become unbearable. Esme’s stomach bounced in her body.

“I’m done eating,” Esme said breaking the silence.

Her mother looked down to her and saw how little she had eaten.

“Are you feeling okay?” she said.

“I’m just not hungry.”

Esme felt sick as her mother shot her father an angry glare. The word Hungry presented itself to her parents but they didn’t seem to notice. Her mother took her bowl but left her juice on the table.

She took quick breaths to avoid getting too much of the bad air and sipped her apple juice with her nose tucked into the glass. When she set her drink down, it had become a little less unbreathable.

As her father folded up the morning newspaper, Esme caught a glimpse of an advertisement on the front page for Splashy's Water Bonanza, an amazing park full of waterslides and wave pools and a water obstacle course. Her parents had taken her quite a few times and she loved it.  Of all the things to do at the park, Esme loved the lazy river ride the most. She thought back to the first time they went, Esme and her mother laid on the gigantic inner tube and let the water take them around the spraying geysers and under the waterfalls.

"Do you think we could go to Splashy's again this summer?" Esme asked her father.

"Maybe," he said.

"Last year I only got to go once and that was when Emily invited me with her family."

"I said maybe," he said nodding.

Esme's face dropped. When her parents said maybe, that usually ended up meaning no.

"Ok, let's make a deal. If you keep your room clean for the rest of the school year and you have really good final report card, then we will take you to Splashy's. On top of that, if you help me clean the garage one of these weekends, then you can take Emily along too."

"Deal," Esme said. That was going to be easy. She already kept her room mostly clean and she was one of the best students in the class. The hard part was cleaning the garage. Last year, she had to sort nuts and bolts. She saw so many nuts and so many bolts that she forgot which one was which.

“Go get ready for school,” he said. 

Esme hugged and kissed her father goodbye because he would be gone by the time she was ready. She went back up to her bedroom to get dressed excited about going to Splashy's but as soon as she saw her mirror she remembered the words and the smell. Her father had not been telling the truth about the job interview and she knew it. If he wasn't going to an interview then where was he going?

Her parents argued the whole time before her father left. They even got a little louder than normal. Esme couldn’t make out what they were saying but she could only imagine how many words were floating in the living room. Out of curiosity, Esme sneaked from her bedroom to the top of the stairs. She could smell the quarrel before she could see it. It smelled like the house was on fire. So many words floated around the room they had become all mixed together to make non-sense. The word Secretary broke off from the pack and floated towards her. Esme jumped back and escaped to her bedroom. About one minute later, the front door slammed shut. No good bye, no good luck, no I love you. 

#

The car ride to school was silent and uncomfortable. Her mother took long, deep breaths and exhaled with loud and slow sighs. Esme stared out the window watching the trees pass by. After a few minutes, Esme’s mother turned to her, as if finally noticing that she was in the car.

“I packed you a little bit extra in your lunch today because you didn’t eat much breakfast,” she said. 

Esme wanted to say thank you but she couldn’t help but think about these weird things: the words, the smell. All of it stemming from her father’s job interview.

“Why does dad go on all of these job interviews?” she asked.

Her mother’s face drew downward, expressionless. She took her time answering and when she did, her eyes were glassy and wet. 

“He must not be happy with what he has.”

“Oh,” she replied. The look on her mother’s face made Esme sad.

At school, Esme’s mother gave her a hug, a long one and then a kiss on the forehead. She said goodbye, good luck and I love you. Esme said the same things back to her. She got out of the car, waved goodbye once more and walked up the path to the front doors. She looked back once and saw her mother crying into her hands.

#

All day long she saw people’s words in red smoke letters just as she suspected she might. Forgot when Bobby Davis talked about homework. Did Not when Amanda Capella talked about copying from her neighbor. At lunch, Esme had to get up and leave because the bonfire smell made her feel nauseated. By the time Esme got out of school her stomach twisted around inside her.

Out the front doors, Esme didn’t see her mother’s car waiting for her. There were quite a few cars so maybe she had to park down the street by the side doors. Esme walked over and felt her lungs tremble with every step. She wasn’t there.  Maybe she just forgot. People forget things sometimes. If she is running late at work, she always calls Grandma Gladys to come pick her up. Maybe she is just running a little bit late and didn't want to bother Grandma Gladys.

"No one is here so I guess I have to walk home," Esme said aloud trying to convince herself.

Esme got on her way with an uneasy smile on her face and a nervous swirl in her body. Maybe if her mother saw that she could walk home all by herself, she would let her do it more often. Besides, if her mother told her that she forgot and she was lying, Esme would know.

She crossed the main street at the cross walk with the help of the crossing guard. She only had to go a handful of blocks to get to her house. There were other groups of walkers her age and older just ahead of her and just behind her. When she made it to her street and turned down it, she stopped dead in her tracks just for a moment. Cop cars, ambulances and even a fire truck were down there. She couldn’t tell which house they were at but they were at least near hers. Esme started to run. When she got closer, she realized that it was her house.

“Mommy,” Esme said.

She ran past a police officer and up the front yard towards the door. Another police officer stopped her. 

“Woah. Woah, hey,” he said.

Esme looked past him at a stretcher being rushed out of the house. On it, her father laid motionless with a plastic mask over his mouth. Two people eased the stretcher down the stairs and onto the ground and ushered it viciously to the ambulance.

"You’re going to be all right," one of the men said and Esme immediately noticed that no red words were floating around her.

“You can’t go in there,” the officer said to her.

“Where’s my Mom?” Esme yelled at him.

A young female police officer intervened. She ordered the other officer away and knelt in front of Esme. She smiled but it wasn’t a happy smile.

“You must be Esme,” she said. 

“Where’s my Mom?” Esme asked but before the woman could answer, Esme found out. 

Her mother's head hovered in the backseat of the police car. Her body slunked forward and forehead pressed into the front seats headrest.          

"Mom," Esme yelled but her mother didn't move.

“Listen, Esme. My name is Officer Hardy. You can call me Samantha."

As she spoke, two more men came out of the house with another stretcher. This time it was occupied by a young blonde woman who Esme didn't recognize. She was sitting up on the rolling bed holding an ice pack to her face. The men eased the stretcher to the ground. The woman looked at Esme and Esme looked back at her. Officer Hardy touched Esme's shoulder.

"Esme, please listen. Something very bad happened here today but I just want you to know that everything is going to be okay.”

The smell of blown out candles hit Esme's nose before she saw Everything and Okay hovering around Samantha's face.

#

That night Esme slept at Grandma Gladys's house.  After a full evening of crying and talking about sad things, she was exhausted but still couldn't sleep.  Her grandma picked her up at the police station.  Before they left, together they were able to talk to Esme's mom through a glass wall.  She cried the whole time and apologized over and over again.  Esme could tell that Grandma Gladys was furious but didn't want to show it in front of everyone. Esme pressed her palm against the glass over top of her mothers.  She was told that her father was at the hospital and going to recover but he had to have surgery to remove a bullet from his abdomen.  The blonde girl was named Erica and only suffered a few minor injuries.  Esme didn't like Erica and didn't want to talk about her.

That night, Esme tossed and turned for hours and couldn't fall asleep.  Even though there was no mirror in the bedroom that she was in she smelled the vanilla bean ice cream.  She got up and walked towards the smell and saw the glow pouring out of the bathroom across the hall.  She stepped into the light.  The man sat so far away from her deep in the mirror but she could hear him as if he were talking right into Esme's ear.  He had tears in his eyes.

"You could've told me things were going to be so bad," Esme said. 

The man shook his head.  Esme felt overwhelming sadness in her head and in her heart.  She felt his words travel through her body.

"I don't want it anymore.  I want it to go away.  I hate the smell so much," she said. 

Esme felt like she was yelling loud to him and that her Grandma would awaken and be mad at her.  She heard him give her his word and then he slowly faded into the gold light.

#

Gladys woke up in the middle of the night.  She had a hard time falling asleep and whenever she finally conked out, it didn't last long.  So got up out of bed, went to the kitchen and filled a glass with tap water and drank it in huge gulps.  She refilled the glass and went upstairs to the spare bedroom where Esme was hopefully resting sound.  She nearly dropped the glass when she entered the room and discovered she was missing.  Gladys turned and exited into the hallway but breathed a heavy sigh when she saw the poor girl asleep on the bathroom floor.

She set the glass of water down on the counter and lifted up Esme carefully.  She was light for her age and that helped Gladys carry her to bed.

Esme's eyes fluttered but she didn't wake as Gladys tucked her in.  She watched the precious little girl sleep in peace and wonder why this little angel had been born to such stupid parents.