A Journal of Faith

A Journal of Faith
A Tale of one’s journey

Robert Leamy
                 



Introduction


“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly” Patrick Overton


Faith is a funny thing. It can give the will to live. It can be a deciding factor in major decisions. Ultimately, faith is what helps many people make it through the day. Faith in God according to William Brownfield gives meaning and purpose to human life.  To me it is simple; Faith is knowing that no matter what happens on this world, the Lord will provide a means to help us make it better.

This document’s purpose is an accounting of how faith has helped me in my life.  It is my belief that The Lord has guided my life to a purpose I have yet to discover.  It is also an accounting of others I know and their faith.



Chapter 1
I was lost now I’m found



         I sat in the minister’s office, a little broke up about what we had been talking about but somehow I felt better. It was just plain weird if you asked me but my journey to this moment actually began years ago.

         It was approximately 1986; I was chapter president for the Portage Jaycees. I was sitting at a region 1 Jaycees meeting and listening to the opening comments.  When it came time for the benediction and prayer, I bowed my head in the customary manner.  Normally I listened to the Chaplin and moved on, as religion was not high on my list of priorities. But tonight it was different.

Earlier that evening, a new member; who had joined, came to talk to me, but as chapter president it was my obligation to care and guide members through their Jaycee careers. Here I was about 20 years old and this guy wanted to talk to me. Other chapter presidents was older respected members but this chapter was in survival mode and I was made president because I cared otherwise the region director was going to appoint the party animals to be the board of directors of the Jaycees.

Well back to the story, Phil said to me that his new girlfriend had just gotten word that, her ex had tested positive for HIV.  As a result of this, news both his girlfriend and Phil had to be tested.  As the Chaplin began speaking, a voice in my head said, “ASK”, so a simple prayer was made.
  “Dear Lord, Phil is a good person, I helped bring him into this chapter and now he needs your help, Please help him.”
I don’t know, what brought that thought on, but I asked.  Approximately two weeks later, Phil came up to me at a fundraiser we were having and pulled me aside. He was ecstatic, the tests results came back and everything was all right. I thought wow, talk about the power of prayer. That incident was filed away in my mind and I moved on with life.

         Jumping ahead to the year 2000... I was working for Comcast as a Lead Warehouse person out of Valparaiso. Part of my job was to ferry materials between LaPorte and Valparaiso on a regular basis.  I was rolling down highway 6 heading back to Valpo when my radio went off.  It was “Mother Mabel”, I pulled my van off to the side of the road to answer her... , she said one of the techs were looking for me and I proceeded to tell her how Rob had the materials the tech wanted.  As I was putting my radio, back on my belt something in my head said “LOOK”.  Out of my rear view mirror, I saw a car with a flat tire and two ladies looking helpless.  I shut off my van and proceeded to walk back to the ladies and see if I could help. The one woman was in tears; her daughter was having a baby and had been rushed to the hospital. She and her sister were on their way there and the tire blew. They did not know to change a tire; their husbands always did it for them. Calming the ladies, I asked the one for her husband’s number and radioed “Mother Mabel”. I asked her to call the woman’s husband and tell him why she was delayed and would be at the hospital shortly. I then proceeded to change their tire for them, goofing up a couple of times, but eventually got it done. The ladies were gushing and the sister offered me 20 bucks for changing the tire, I told her to keep her money and buy something nice for the baby. Laughing she asked for my bosses name and number and said the world could stand a few more like you. They climbed into their car and left for the hospital. Again, I filed the incident away and went on with life. My boss never did say if the ladies called but I didn’t care.

         Now the story comes to 2006. I was out of work and looking for a new job. My wife had found a club for me to try out in the paper to try to get me out of my funk. The club was called “The Sci-Fi Guys and they met at a church called “Daybreak” It was raining hard that night and I barely found the place. This church was in the building my insurance company occupied prior to moving down the road. I tried the door and went in getting out of the rain.  Calling out, I was welcomed by a guy upstairs. He introduced himself as David VanderWoude.  Dave proceeded to finish setting up and told me about the club. They get together twice a month and watch old Science fiction series; I was in heaven so to speak. As weeks went on, I got to know the guys more and met Forrest, Jim and Fred. Dave also started telling me more about Daybreak. It was a community church that held services on Sundays at the Boys & Girls Club. He invited me come join the services. I was a little skeptical with religion not being on my top ten list.  Things were going along and I was applying and interviewing with places for jobs. One particular Thursday, my planner said “Sci Fi Guys” and I went to Daybreak to spend the evening. After getting there, Dave told me I had the wrong week. Because of the month, the 2nd and 4th had shifted and my planner screwed up. At that point, a rather tall man came upstairs and introduced himself as Rob Knol, the senior pastor.  Dave introduced me and said he was going to call Jim, because he had wanted to get together and watch something this week.  I chatted with Pastor Knol and he was curious about some interviews I had that day. I told him about my interviews with Muster hospital and Blue Chip Casino. When I said the word casino, I saw a look from Rob Knol. A look of disapproval, but nerveless he gave me words of encouragement.  That stuck with me and I filed the incident for future reference.  Going forward with life, April came around and the work front was looking bleak.  After Sci Fi Guys, I was helping Dave straighten up and once again, my mind screamed, “ASK”. I asked Dave if Pastor Knol would consider speaking with someone who was not in the church.  Dave assured me he would not mind and would leave him a message to call me and set something up.  Later on Pastor Knol did call but our schedules were clashing. I filed it once again as maybe this wasn’t a good ideal.
About a week later, my grandmother took ill.  After spending a week in the hospital, I had to help my mother find a care facility to give her the care she needed. The facility, I found that would agreed to care for her was “Valparaiso Care & Rehab”. . After she was settled in there, I would visit everyday.  The problem was she was not getting better and was refusing to eat. The situation was worse and came to a head when a nurse griped at me for Nanny trying to pull her IV out.  I just didn’t know what to do. I was also seeing about going back to school and learning a new job. After leaving the nursing home, I went be Ivy Tech admissions only to have my spirit smashed once more by some clerk literally throwing a folder at me and telling me to come back later.  I was in the dumps. Nanny was getting worse, no job, and school out of reach.  How much more could I take.  Once again, a voice in my head spoke “DAYBREAK”.  I had gone to one service to please Dave but I still wasn’t sure what church could do for me. So I drove over to Daybreak’s office and was hoping I could maybe talk to someone. 

The place looked different than the first night I saw it.  Somehow, the Daybreak center looked different to me, almost warm and welcoming. My heart heavy from it being stomped on, I walked in and called out by habit because I had been there a number of times. Pastor Knol appeared at the top to the stairs. I asked if Dave was around, he said no. Then asked if I still wanted to get together and chat.  I said sure, thinking it might be good. He said I have some time now if you want to talk. ………………….

After a lengthy chat, probing questions from me about organized religion in general and talking about the problems of my life, I felt better. Upon walking out, the voice sounded again”ASK”. I turned and asked Pastor Knol if he might consider visiting Nanny at Valpo care.  He agreed and said he would go Thursday. Shaking his hand I left felling a little more hopeful than before. That Friday, I had met with Nanny’s doctor and he was insisting on placing her in hospice care to make her comfortable.  While waiting for the hospice representative in the lobby of Valpo care. I was coping with the reality that my grandmother was going to die.  As I sat there staring off into space, I hear a voice say “Robert”.  Looking up it was Pastor Knol. . He sat down besides me and apologized for not getting there until today to see Nanny but he was tied up.  We proceeded to talk about Nanny and my decision for hospice care. In reassuring words he told me, I made the right choice. During our talk, he eluded that it was weird that things kept popping up yesterday and kept him from coming here.  Now he was there in my time of need to council.

Sunday, I walked into the Boys and Girls Club and took a seat. People, including Forrest, Dave and Gary, a new friend from my previous visit, greeted me.  As the service progressed, I felt strange but good.  As Pastor Rob Knol went on with his message, he came to a portion where he invited people to come forward and symbolically wash away our sin and a church member would dry our hands much like what was done to Jesus. I watched as people started walking forward. Forrest who was sitting next to me stepped up and then my unspoken voice sounded,” GO “. I rose up out of my seat and stepped forward. Scared and not sure, I stepped into the line. The church member I wound up in front of was Gary.  Stepping forward I dipped my hands in the soapy water and raised them He laid a towel on my hands and quietly said, “Robert, you are one of god’s children and he will always love you”

It was at that point, I came to the realization, that I felt better. In coming weeks, I had more trials to deal with.  My grandmother died but on her dying day, Pastor Rob showed up, when I am sure he had other things to do and prayed for Nanny and my family.  He talked to my mother and she told me later how much she liked him. While talking she said it was good that I found a place I liked. After Nanny passed, the support from Daybreak was something.  People checked on me and Pastor Rob agreed to officiate over Nanny’s funeral for us.  When meeting with him he encouraged me to write something out about Nanny because I knew her better than he ever could. With that, I dusted off my writing and produced a tribute to her. I was writing again.  With the support of Dave, Rob and Daybreak’s members, I have moved forward. In addition, religion has moved up into my personal top ten. However, it is not the top but it is up there. After All Jack O’Neil and SG-1 need my support, I am sure, the Lord Jesus Christ probably unwinds with some of his disciples to reruns of Stargate SG-1. But hey it may not be true but it works for me.  I can truly say “I Was Lost but Now I’m Found “


Chapter 2
The Daybreak ends

Since that Sunday at the Boys and Girls club, I became more active in the church. I volunteered my time to setting up and tear down of the service. Tried to fix some computer problems the Church was having and more or less making friends as I went.
Kathy, my wife had also begun attending with me.  She was a little upset at first because I had not consulted her prior to going.  Then the next thing I knew I was taking a membership class and agreeing to be baptized.



All I could think was what was I thinking as this happened. The thing was I felt a part of something. I was walking the path of my faith.  I try not to make any drastic decisions without talking to Kathy first but it still happens.

One day, Dave Vander Woude called and asked if Kathy and I could meet him for lunch.  We did but when asking him what was going on, he told me in a painful voice about the decision to close “Daybreak”.  That news struck my heart like a knife and stayed that way for a long time.  Factions were forming within the church. Some wanted to go their separate ways. Others wanted to stay together and find a new way. Some of the rifts were driven deeply that I have not talked to Gary since the last service. I hope we can come together again someday as friends and agree to disagree.  Gary if you ever read this I want you to know that you are and will always be considered a friend no matter what path I take.