The Way I Are...

I had never been so bored in my entire life. There I was, sitting in possibly the most uncomfortable chair ever made, listening to my grandmother lecture on the evil boys can be. Can you imagine?! I could have been in a million and one places having the time of my life but no, there I was, listening to the old woman drone on and on. Had I known what was going to occur in the following weeks, I would have paid closer attention.

My name is Demide Akinola and I'm ever so privileged to be alive and whole today. I didn't understand why grandma was eager to talk to me and in the process frustrate me with her notions which I thought were super weird at the time, but now, I'm ever so grateful that she took the time. Here's how it all went down.

I went out with my friends a week after the dreaded lecture. The four of us were a tight-knit group consisting, me, Debola, Seun, and Oyinda. We had gone shopping that morning and tired ourselves right out. I mean, four girls... shopping... no chaperons... It was inevitable! Anyway, we decided to stop for lunch so we could rest a bit, we still had quite a ways to go. As we sat down to lunch, Oyinda filled us in on her current run-in with her mother. She and her mom were constantly at logger-heads for some unknown reason. I was listening so intently to her wild tale that I didn't notice him walk in, until Debola squealed that is.
“Gee, thanks a lot." I said, glaring at her. I had jumped so violently when she screamed, I spilled some juice on myself.
"Sorry, but the finest looking thing this side of heaven just walked in." She answered not exactly looking remorseful, much to my chagrin.
I rolled my eyes at her. It was just like Debola to be so vain. I turned to stare at the subject in question, just to indulge her, and I was stunned.

Never before had anyone taken my breath away like this. I just sat there, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to think. The entirety of him took up my vision and exploded in my mind, implanting his very reflection on every fraction of my brain. I was practically catatonic.
"Whoa... breathe girl." This came from Seun as she fanned her hands in front of my face.
"Sorry... but... uhm..." I was at a loss for words.
Too bad I didn't know what a rotten piece of work he was on the inside, if I had, I would have stomped off when he sauntered up to us and said, "hey there."
Okay, this guy definitely knew the potency of his appeal.
"Dotun." He said, by way of introduction. He stretched out his hand.
His voice had the most soporific effect. You just wanted to sink right into it. I tried to speak but my voice felt like a mass of bubbles in my throat and my brain felt like a puddle of mush. Oyinda nudged me and then, "Demide." I put my hand in his. I didn't even recognize my own voice. Another nudge from Oyinda.
"Oh and these are my friends, Seun, Debola and Oyinda." I pointed respectively.
"Wow, four of the most beautiful girls and all at one table too, today must be my lucky day." He flashed the most bewitching smile.
Oh, what a smile. He just had to smile and scramble my already shattered reasoning all the more, didn't he? I smiled back at him for lack of something reasonably intelligent to say. Looking back now, I realize how tacky that line was.

He managed to weasel himself unto our table and before I knew it, we were all laughing like we were old friends. He was so enthralling. We were all hanging on his every word. I noticed his occasional glances at me but I schooled myself not to blush. It was during one of my 'do-not-blush' tactics that I checked the time and realized how much of it had flown right past.
"Guys, we have to get going. We are so late." I said apologetically.
All I got were blank stares. For a second there i thought maybe I hadn't spoken in English.
"Awww... shucks!!! I was having so much fun." Debola finally whined. It was all I could do to not roll my eyes at her again. We finally got the show on the road after we had all given him our numbers. Imagine my surprise when about 5minutes after we're out the door, I got a text message, "DEMIDE, YOU JUST ROCKED MY WORLD... DOTUN."
I had hardly said anything throughout lunch and still, he noticed me. It felt so good; I couldn't help but blush this time.
"What are you smiling about?" Apparently, Seun noticed the blush.
"Nothing." I lied.
"Well, okay then, if you say so." She was still eyeing me suspiciously.

Dotun and I started seeing each other quite often after that and I was having so much fun. It was our own little clandestine affair and it felt so forbidden and magical. I didn't want to share it with anyone. The memories of our time together were just for me in my own little world where I could ponder on them and fantasize about more beautiful memories we'd make in my mind. I fielded off all talk of him when my friends casually commented that he never even got in touch. I should have shared with them like friends do.

We had plans to go to the movies, Dotun and I, and he asked that I pick him up at his place, I agreed. I didn't even question the plan seeing as his house was on the other side of town from the cinema. I was so smitten by him that I would've done just about anything to please him. I knew I was asking for trouble when I found out we were home alone and I still went on to sit next to him on the sofa. I figured we'd just have us some harmless fun and that would be that. We started fooling around and obviously, things spun quickly out of control. No sooner had we touched did he start asking for the one thing I couldn't give.
"Stop." I said, shoving at him.
"Stop!" A little more forcefully this time.
"STOP!" I yelled, finally getting him off.
He grabbed me and started to shake me. It wasn't so much as the shaking than the look in his eyes that had fear and dread churning in the pit of my stomach. I knew if I didn't do something soon, I'd never again see the light of day this side of reality. Then like a flash, it came to me, grandma's wise words. I gave it all I could and he doubled over in agony, screaming obscenities at my fleeing form. I actually did it, I couldn't believe it, but that wasn't the time to celebrate, I had to run.

I finally got myself to safety and after getting my wits back, I called my friends and told them everything. 'Twas then I truly appreciated the technology of conference call. Anyway, Seun asked the obvious question.
"So, what did you remember? What did you do to him?"
On the day of the ever so lengthy session, grandma told me that if I ever found myself in such a delicate situation, I should aim low, if you know what I mean.
"NO! YOU DIDN'T!" Oyinda exclaimed. I could almost see her eyes popping out. Debola had dissolved into peals of laughter.
"Yep! I did. It was either that or be plant manure. So I sucked in my breath and kicked as hard as I could and it worked, fortunately." We all started to laugh so hard, I didn't even know when I started weeping.

I've wondered why something like that happened to me and now that I'm older and wiser I see why.
I allowed what a man thought about me to control me. I put myself at the mercy of human knowledge and reasoning to gain approval and I didn't need that. I didn't even understand that I didn't need that. Well, not anymore! I know who I am and it's what you can be to if you believe it. So from Demide to you, here it is; "I AM THE EXCELLENCE OF THE LORD AND IN ME IS ALL HIS DELIGHT" Say it and believe it, it’s who GOD has said you are.