Island Girl

I reached out and slowly sunk my fingers into that clear, perfect water. It was bluer than anything I could have imagined, anything I ever dreamt. A moment later, I'd waded in, standing in that lagoon up to my bare knees, feeling the sun-warmed water gently surge around my legs. He'd been quiet and growing distant for so long. I couldn't bring myself to stay, not after the way things had turned out between us. There was no place for me there and I knew I needed the distance far more than he did.

“Welcome!” A voice rang out from behind me, soft and rich like the sand between my toes in that sparkling lagoon. The words rolled off her tongue in the thick accent of her home. It was warm and almost homey, like honey drizzling into a pot. “You must be in from the new boat?”

I turned and smiled at the young woman standing behind me. Her skin was dark, almost black, with the faint blue tint that denoted these island people. It was reflected in the royal blue of her long hair and the washed-out, pale, gem-like sapphire of her eyes. I'd never seen anything like her before.

“What is your name?” I asked, slowly wading out of the warmth of that lagoon.

“I am called Kira by most of the foreigners who visit and you may do the same.” She looked me over, smiling all the while. “If you come with me, I can show you to the visitor's village where you'll be staying during your visit. They've been waiting for you.”

I nodded and followed her across sun-drenched beaches of beautiful white sand toward a village of thatched huts and small fires, clustered at the edge of an expanding forest that led toward the island's interior.

“You'll be staying in this one." Kira said, leading me to one of the smaller huts.

I stepped away from her, peering into the little one-room home that would be mine during my visit. A piece of cloth had been hung over the entrance for my privacy, but the gentle breeze skimming along the grass beneath my feet blew it aside like paper. I would have to bring myself to be social in this world, because privacy was about to be a thing of the past.

“There's usually a small party whenever someone joins the visitor's village, so you'll be able to meet everyone tonight. Your things have been brought as well. Why don't you spend a little time getting settled in?”

Kira was friendly and smiling, the perfect “tour guide” to my new life. “Thank you, Kira,” I said, not quite sure what I was supposed to do now. Thankfully, however, she simply turned and walked away, leaving me alone with the heat.

That afternoon passed quietly enough. I shuffled around my hut the few things that I had brought with me. It was a small, dark room, completely round to match the outside of the little hut, with only one window to let in light and the clean, fresh, warm air of the island I had chosen. It was here that I would heal, put myself back together before returning to the real world of my life. I'd picked the most idyllic spot I could find, hoping that the extreme change of scenery would wrest from me the cold, poisonous feelings that had been clouding my days since he'd left.

As the afternoon wore on, I tied back the curtains in my window and door, letting the sweet-smelling, island air flow through my little hut, carrying with it the sounds of people going back and forth through their daily activities. I lay on the straw mat that was to act as my bed, closed my eyes, and just listened to the world I had brought myself to. It was, as I had hoped, perfectly idyllic.

The sun set quickly here, being as close as we were to the equator. Those burning, glorious sunsets were something that I would eventually plan my day around. I think they were part of what I loved best about that little island: the fiery blaze as the sun sank below the horizon, painting the lagoon and ocean beyond with a brilliant, red-gold brush.

The smell of food drifted in through my open door, waking me from the heat-induced nap I'd been taking. I could feel my stomach protest at the forced starvation that had come from my unwillingness to leave my hut. Here, in this little home, I was in my own space. I'd never been very good at meeting people or socialising in groups and there was no doubt in my mind that I would have to do so if I wanted food.

I wrapped a brightly coloured sarong around my waist and knotted it inexpertly, praying that it would stay in place as I leaned my head out of the door to my hut. I could hear laughing and music coming from the beach by the lagoon where a huge bonfire lit up the night that had fallen around me as I dozed.

Voices greeted me cheerfully as I approached, all calling out to come sit, eat, and make merry with them. The little voice in the back of my mind told me to take off. This was too many people, too close, all loud and laughing and I wasn't good with people to begin with. With a sharp rap on the knuckles of that little voice, I reminded myself that I was here to change. I needed something new in my life. The person that I was before was gone and I was supposed to try new things, push my boundaries, and find the new me.

With that decided, I put on a bright smile and joined the group. There were only about fifteen other people living in the visitor's village right now, easily discernible from the locals by their lack of that dark blue-black skin and hair. As I'd expected, all of the visitors were women.

“So, how'd you end up here?” One of them asked me as we talked over bowls of rice and fish.

“The same way everyone else did, I guess. Life was just getting to be a bit too much for me at home and I work for myself, so I just left.” The food was amazing, every bite seemed to be better than the last and I let myself sink into all the pleasures that this place offered the senses.

“Breakup?”

I nodded, not really sure why I was telling her all this, but it felt good to get it out. “It's been a while now, but, for some reason, I'm having issues getting over him, getting over it all. We were together for a long time.”

“And he's not? Having issues, I mean.”

“No. I don't think he is.”

She let it drop at that and we ate our dinners quietly. Around us, the party was in full swing. A few of the local villagers had joined in with drums and a flute or two and the visiting women took to dancing around the fire.

Watching them was like staring into a painting. Dressed in little more than colourful pieces of cloth, these strong, passionate women turned and sang wordless songs around that giant bonfire. Their voices rose into the night sky along with the smoke, winding its way into one of the clearest nights I'd ever seen. Stars sparkled overhead in constellations I didn't know, twinkling down at me.

I grew tired as the night wore on, sitting a little way back from the party, watching the dancing and listening to the strange and beautiful sounds of the flutes and drums of the villagers as they mixed with the fierce, mature voices of the visiting women. After a while, I decided that I'd had enough, and walked back to my little hut to sleep.


The next two weeks were much the same. I tried my best to get to know some of the women in my village and helped with the work that was needed to sustain the place. We worked in the garden that had been built on the edge of the forest, collected water from the fresh-water stream nearby, and fished in the lagoon off the edge of the coral reef. As strange and different as it all seemed, life quickly took on normalcy that I'd never expected to find in that beautiful, exotic place.

I was making friends, too. Some of the women were particularly good at some of the tasks and didn't rotate through “duties” like the rest of us. Aria, as she called herself, was almost always in the little garden. She seemed to have something of a green thumb and under her watchful eye the world flourished in a perpetual spring. None of the women here had kept their names, opting instead to drop everything they knew from the existences they'd left and find something new for however long they opted to stay. Thetis, an older women who had visited here many times over the years, was usually up to her waist in the lagoon, bringing in as many fish as we could eat with words of wisdom from a quick mind.

And then there was Jade. As far as I was from the group in the evenings, Jade was in their midst. From that first night on the beach, I'd watched her. She was so much of what I wished I could be. Her bright smile and bubbling laughter made it difficult for anyone to not like her. It was as if she always had some small secret hiding at the edge of her eyes, making them light up with mischief. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and, because of all this, I didn't talk to her.

That may seem odd, but I knew I wasn't good with people. I'd never really felt at home in a group and Jade was never without one. I wanted to know what those dancing brown eyes were hiding, what had brought her to this remote place where everyone seemed to be running away from something, but I could never get close enough to get to know her.


There were still a couple of hours until the sun would be setting and we needed more water to finish making dinner. Chef Sarah, as we called her, had sent me off with directions to fill the two water pots at the freshwater stream that was about a quarter of a mile toward the interior.

So off I went with the two pots and the rod that I would use like a yoke to carry the heavy containers back to the village. No matter how many times I walked that way, I never got used to the beauty of the interior. Cooler than the rest of the island, due mostly in part to the canopy of trees that blocked out the majority of the heat, it was the perfect place to spend the afternoon when there was leisure time to be had. I stopped several times on my way to the stream that day, simply standing amongst the trees and letting everything soak in. This place was heaven to me and I never wanted to leave.

Approaching the stream, I saw that someone was already there, kneeling on the edge where it widened out. This was an area that we usually used to bathe, farther downstream from where we'd collect drinking water.

It was Jade, sitting there beside the little eddy, using a large cup to pour water down over her hair, rinsing it clean. I stood back for a minute, watching her. The water ran in little rivers over her neck and down her bare back, streaming through the strands of fire-red hair that hung to her shoulders. She put down the cup and sat up straight, deftly twisting her hair into a knot, tying it back.

I cleared my throat, breaking the silence, and Jade jumped. “Sorry.” I said, turning my back so that she could wrap the bright piece of fabric back around her chest and back.

“No worries. Didn't know you were back there.”

I listened to the rustling as she redressed herself quickly and chanced a glance a minute or two later.

“You can look.”

I turned back, feeling my face flush as I looked at her, “I didn't expect anyone to be here. Sorry.”

“Don't be.” She reached out her hand and I shook it, “I don't think I've yet made your acquaintance. My name's Jade.”

I shook her hand, noticing how small and warm it was. “I'm Daphne.”

That bright smile lit up again, making me feel like I was the most important person she'd ever met. “I know! I've been trying to find a way to get to talk to you for weeks now, but you're never around when anyone else is.”

“I'm not really the best people person,” I said, sitting down beside the stream, letting my toes dangle in the cool water. “I've been trying, but being around everyone just tends to make me tired eventually.”

Jade sat down beside me, her feet joining mine in the water, “I'm just the opposite. I go crazy if'n I spend too much time on my own. Probably why I ended up here. There's always somethin' to do.”

I didn't know what to say to that and stared down into the stream so I wouldn't have to look at her. Unconsciously, my hands reached up and played with my hair, braiding and re-braiding strands.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, neither saying anything. To my surprise, however, the silence wasn't in any way uncomfortable. Something about Jade seemed to put me at my ease and after a while I found that I was pouring everything out to her, my whole life and every reason I had decided to run away for a while to this perfect place in the hopes of eventually coming to terms with the life I'd thought I was going to have before he left.

Jade just sat there, quietly dipping her toes in and out of the stream, listening to every word I said. She was amazingly easy to talk to and I said more in that hour than I probably had in the last two weeks.

When I was done, she leaned over and kissed me gently on the cheek. “It sounds like you've had a rough time of it, Daphne. Let's get the water back to Sarah.”

I was thankful that she hadn't tried to help or make me talk things through any more. I'd managed to get all those little fears and pains out and the world suddenly felt lighter on my shoulders.

Jade insisted on carrying the water back for me. She wouldn't hear otherwise. “Absolutely not! Give it here, lady,” she said, taking the yoke from me and heaving it over her own shoulders.

I tried to point out the fact that not only was I bigger than her, but absolutely was I stronger. She'd have none of it.

“You just be quiet and get going.” She grinned, walking away from the stream and back toward the exterior of the island, “If you don't, I'll beat you back!” She called and I jogged to catch up with her.

That was the last time I ever felt shy around her. Jade and I, during that hour at the stream, became friends. She helped me get over some of my insecurities, pulling me into the nightly bonfire dances or out of my hut during the day to spend time with some of the other women. I'd never met anyone like her before.

We spent time walking through the interior together, too. I don't have any idea what we found to talk about, but somehow there was always something. I felt the pain that had been lingering since he left slowly start to slip away and the harder I tried to hold onto it the quicker it left.

“Why do you try so hard to be unhappy?” She asked me one day while we were exploring an area of the interior we'd never been to before.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she started, pulling aside a tree branch for me, “you just seem to dwell on everything. Why don't you try to just let it go and be happy again? You've said yourself that you wouldn't want him back even if'n he asked, so why bother with all the sad?”

I thought about that. Nobody had ever really put it that way before and somehow the last few weeks seemed so petty. She was right, after all. “I've never been very good at change. It's not something that's ever come easily to me and I don't know how to do it.”

Jade nodded and fell silent, partially because the “path” we were on had become steeper and we were both breathing hard by the time it leveled out. She pulled away another branch for me and we found ourselves standing on the edge of a cliff that overlooked the entire island. We could see the pale lagoon and the dark, crystal-blue ocean beyond it, stretching as far as the horizon.

We sat up there for the rest of the day, drinking the water we'd brought with us and talking about life in general. She was a professor back home, teaching Linguistics at a local university. I told her about my work as a Massage Therapist and the kinds of patients I usually had. It was very comfortable.

The sun set after a couple of hours, that same flaming show of colours dancing on the water, and the sky was soon dark and speckled with shining stars. Jade took the time to start teaching me about some of the constellations and the stories behind them. She'd spent a lot of time when she first got to the island learning about them from the natives here and could pick out about a half dozen on her own. I, for my part, was a very good pupil. I asked all the right questions and soaked in everything she told me like a sponge.

When Jade was done with the lesson, we sat quietly and just stared at the heavens. I had never truly appreciated the stars while I was at home, but here they somehow seemed so much more important, a part of life on the island. My thoughts drifted back to my hut far below us. I would be leaving soon and I had no idea how to tell Jade. Something inside me didn't want any of this to end; it had been far too perfect.

A warm hand rested on my shoulder then and I looked down from the stars to see Jade looking at me. Without a word, she leaned in and closed her eyes, kissing my lips with the softest, gentlest kiss I'd ever felt.

That was the end of our friendship as it had been. After that night, it was impossible for me to see Jade without remembering the softness of her lips and the touch of her small, gentle hands. I could see the same, undefinable secret that hid at the corner of her eyes and knew that she was thinking about me. We snuck away from the group as often as we dared, finding stolen hours to ourselves on the forest floor of the interior. Life was heaven for a little while.

But, as fate will have it, every good thing must end and my time on the island was almost over. As my last day dawned, I was lying on the cliff Jade and I had found, watching the stars dim and the sun come up. We were wrapped up together in a blanket I'd brought from the village.

“It's not long now.”

Jade, sitting behind me with her arms around my waist, said nothing. She'd hardly spoken all night, which was unusual to say the least.

“They'll be bringing me back in another hour or two.”

I could feel her cheek resting on my shoulder as she lightly kissed the side of my neck. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly, feeling her lips and arms and letting myself relax against her.

“What's going to happen?” she finally asked, so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

I thought for a minute. It was a question I'd been wrestling with for a while now. Life on the island was nice, but it wasn't real. When I got back, real life would start up again and things would get complicated. I had no idea where Jade lived or even what her real name was.

“I don't know.”

She nodded and just held me tight. We both knew that I would be gone sooner than either of us wanted.


“Welcome back!” I heard a cheery voice say as I opened my eyes. “I hope you had a pleasant trip.” The voice was attached to a pleasant looking woman in nice jeans and a red satin, button-down shirt.

I nodded, not really wanting to talk about it. “Thank you.”

“It'll take a little time to reorient yourself. Your muscles are sure to be weak for a few days, although we do what we can to keep them strong while you're away, and you'll notice your appetite is smaller than before due to the IV.” She was still smiling and led me through the halls of the Virtual Vacations International building. Half an hour later, having signed all the necessary paperwork and shaken a few hands, I was back on the streets of Portland, ostensibly ready to restart my life after a two-week-long absence. My mind, however, was sure I'd been away for more than a month.

It took a few days to start feeling like myself and get back into the swing of things. A couple of friends of mine had been covering my practice for the last couple weeks and there were already enough clients waiting to cover two whole months of work. At least I'd been missed.

Life returned to normal and I found that the reasons I'd left were no longer a problem. I didn't have the same heartrending pain I'd had before on seeing him. Instead, my thoughts kept drifting back to the 'weeks' I'd spent with Jade on an island that didn't exist. Somewhere, the woman I'd come to know as Jade, was getting back into her life, too. She'd told me she was leaving the day after me.


“How difficult is it to get the information of another client?” I asked, walking back into the cheery woman's office at Virtual Vacations International.

“Excuse me?”

“The information for another client. Is it possible for me to find out who she was?” I was impatient, pacing her office.

“I'm sorry.” She said, shaking her head, “I simply can't give out the personal information of another client. It's strictly confidential.”

I swore, apologised, and left. I knew how confidentiality agreements worked and there was going to be no way around it. The company could be sued and closed if she broke those agreements and told me who Jade was.

The next week was spent in vain, trying to forget the beautiful, alluring woman I'd met in that fantasy world. I worked with my clients, went out with my friends, and pretended to be happy. They knew, of course, that I wasn't. I didn't want to tell them why, though. Everyone thought I'd gone on a tropical vacation to the Caribbean for the last two weeks. None of them knew I'd spent the time inside a computer program, falling in love with a woman whose name I didn't know.

I did know some things about Jade, though. That last morning, she'd told me that she taught at a university in British Columbia. I knew she was from somewhere on the west coast and lived by herself. It wasn't a lot to go on, but it was more than VVI was willing to give me and a little time on Google wasn't going to hurt.


The ferry from Seattle seemed to take forever. A friend had picked me up from the train station the night before and put me on the Clipper that morning. The small passenger boat tossed on the water as we crossed the channel from Seattle to Vancouver Island. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the curves of her face, the form of her little hands. I would find her.

I flagged down a taxi in the inner harbour, “University of Victoria, please.”

He nodded and started the meter.

Twenty minutes later, I paid and and stepped out onto a campus I was familiar with only in pictures. I pulled the map I'd printed the previous night from my pocket and spent about five minutes figuring out where I was and where I needed to go. I wasn't even sure if this was the right person, but something had said it was worth the try.

The campus was lovely -- covered in low buildings and spotted here and there with feral rabbits that teased the students and ate their generous offerings of carrots and celery. My mind, however, was focused elsewhere. I'd be able to appreciate the scenery later.

The elevator to the third floor of the D wing was one of the slowest I'd ever been on. It seemed to take forever to get there and I cursed myself for having opted out of the stairs.

Taking a deep breath and after a few false starts, I finally raised a hand and rapped smartly on Clearihue D348.

A familiar voice called through the door, making my heart beat even faster than it was already. “C'mon in!”

I opened it slowly, looking into a messy, over-cluttered office with a small, busy looking woman trying to save a stack of papers from what had obviously been a fatal coffee moment.

I steeled myself to speak and let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. “Jade?”

She looked up quickly and I recognised those beautiful, brown eyes and soft features. Forgetting the papers she'd been working so hard to save, the familiar walked toward me, seemingly unable to believe what she was seeing. “Daphne.”

I smiled and put down the overnight bag I was carrying, offering her my hand. “Can we try again?” I raised my eyebrows, searching her face, “My name is Lauren and it's nice to meet you.”

She took the hand, looking at it, “A pleasure. I'm Amber.”

“Believe me,” I said, grinning, “the pleasure is entirely mine.” In a moment, I'd pulled her into my arms, feeling complete again, and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her lips.