The sun will come out

James Sherrod
ENN 198​ 10/04/2003
The Sun Will Come Out

​ As I sat at the table listening, I looked around the dark lit room while Sonny played. Cigarette smoke and faint smells of beer and alcohol filled the atmosphere. I observed the crowd of men and women who came to see Sonny tonight. Singles, couples, groups of more than three, black faces and white faces were nodding their heads lightly to the music or tapping fingers on their glass to the drum. For a minute I focused on Sonny’s playing, and for awhile, envisioned our darkened past from mother, father to Gracie. The moment passed leaving little effect on me.
​ My mind was concentrated on what was happening now. I looked at Sonny, playing beautifully, the band keeping pace with him. The invite into his world tonight, would not allow me to get caught up in the past of my own, the way I often do. I was always scared for Sonny, thinking about what was best for him, or what I thought was best for him. Coming here to the club with him tonight gave me a sense of feeling at ease even though it took sometime to get use to.



​His new freedom did not come without consequences. Seeing him at work, I acknowledge that now. My brother has grown up into an adult who knows the troubles that lurk in the world outside the walls. The band stopped playing the lights on stage and in the bar came on and shown brightly. During the thunderous applause by the crowd, the musicians bowed and announced they would take a break.
​I looked around the room trying to get my eyes adjusted to the light again and locate sonny on stage. I got a glimpse of his back as the band left the stage through a side door. I begin to sit down, wait for Sonny, and finish my drink. Sonny appeared, on his way to the table he was greeted with handshakes and hugs by many people in the room. “I like your style,” I said, extending my hand to his and feeling proud of him. “I’ll get you a drink and we’ll talk a little then I have to get on home.”
​“I’ll take a rain check on that drink,” Sonny said. “I’m going to be here for a while tonight. The guy’s are talking about playing gigs at other nightclubs. Would you mind if we took a walk? I need to get some air. I’ll get you a cab.”
​ “Sure” I said.
​As we navigated our way past the people to the exit of the nightclub, we finally arrived outside to find the streets wet from a passing rain shower some time ago. The air was humid and the sky filled with clouds of dirty gray that covered the stars. We began walking north. I offered him a cigarette.
​“You were great tonight, I’m proud of you. I was afraid for you in the beginning of all this, you showed me something I didn’t think you had in you,” I told Sonny while he lit his cigarette.
​ “Thank you, you don’t know how much I needed to hear that,” he said. We walked a few blocks and I began to ask him… “What was that? It was different.”
​We were the only two walking on our side of the street, around us shops and stores were closing or had been closed. The street light shown bright and illuminated the wet asphalt. He took his time answering and blew smoke to the sky. Then looked at me and said, “blues, a collaboration of my own. Jazz is a lot different now then what it was in the past. It’s a view of life’s ups, downs, mistakes, and regrets as you see it today, same pain but different time.”
​ “You’re serious about this… and I have learned a lot tonight…. a lot about you…Just be careful.”
​He stopped and held his hand up to cut off anything else I might say. Then looking at me he said, “I learned a lot over the past years and learned not to live in the past. I never did. I couldn’t stand living the way other people want me to. I needed to live the way I want to.” He raised his hands up again to flag a cab, but the driver kept going. It had a passenger in it. “Don’t worry about me the way I know you do.” Sonny said as he flicked his cigarette in the street. We began walking again.
​We got to within four blocks from the nightclub. Sonny kept talking. “I’m trying to make something of what’s left of my life. The talk we had in the apartment gave me a chance to take a long look at myself. Remember when I told you it could happen again? Well…big brother, I’m not going to let that be part of my life. I can’t change the misery that’s happened in the world …in the past…. I do my best to live with it.”
​Sonny raised his hand to flag down another cab while I stood listening. “I understand the dislike you have for this music,” Sonny said. Suddenly there was a cab, and he pulled up to the curb. I peeked in and asked the driver to give me a minute. “Jazz is the only life I know. I follow the night,” Sonny told me. “This is my life, sometimes I sleep and work on music all day, but I play at night. I can’t stand the light of day,” Sonny said.
​I extended my hand to Sonny and then hugged him. “Mama and Papa would have been proud to hear you tonight,” I said. I had opened the door to the taxi, while getting in I said, “You know, I don’t dislike this music, especially after tonight. You were great; let me know when you cut your first album. I got in and closed the door. Sonny stood on the curb and waved saying. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I looked back at him and waved as the driver sped off.