Life On The Trigger

My Life has stood;
reminiscing moments that bring me
back to the point of no return.
The moments of pain,
the moments of cries,
the moments of suffering and the
total pain in my heart.
Back to those scenes, I go back
very often, laying in my bed, crying,
and having my pillows as comfort.
As every tear falls, the pain increases,
the memories, become very realistic.
I can almost relive those moments, I can feel the dry pain,
I wish it can be erased; I can’t take all these dark and lonely days.
If there’s anything that has seen
and experience my pain; it’s been these four walls,
maybe they pity me. Sometimes I can be happy but that’s
only temporarily, my happiness won’t last not one day,
something always happens to ruin it.
Once my day is ruined, there’s nothing or
no one that can change how I feel, all my hopes just go all the way down,
and my world of happiness comes crashing down.
My life is like a loaded gun, it’s cocked,
the bullets are ready, the finger on the trigger--waiting.