Does it really exist ???

                 
                                                            Does it really exist ???

Dubious eyes stared at me all across the room, their gaze more cynical than my one. I searched the depths of my heart, trying to spot a single grain of courage.I climbed to the stage, with my head drooping, as my name was called upon by a companion. "Good Morning…sorry, a..a..Good Afternoon", I paused for a while as I glanced at watch, it had just struck twelve. A few faces in the end rows, sniggered as the air around became more apprehensive. "My name is Valliante and I would like to speak about ‘Famous Revolutions around the world during 1750-1850". The very mettle that revolutions embodied, did not leave a trace of its aura in my words, as I ended the sentence on a cold note. The word ‘revolution’ that incites courage and deep reverence for those who had fought to bring about a ‘change’, changes that would turn the course of history; had seemed to rouse  only blazing anger. All felt, both my name and the subject, were the absolute contrary of my character. Anger, at the vile traitor who stabbed the word of its very soul, offending not just the word ‘revolution’, but all those innumerable souls who had laid down their lives, protecting the very spirit of ‘revolution’. "The golden age of revolutions began about 1750…..uh….no…I …guess, about 1770….as the following 100 years witnessed the famed American… French… and Greek Revolution…"

Flashes of memories, surrounded me, of being named by my grandfather, ‘Valliante’ which symbolized brave in French, assisting him in his research on the French and Greek revolutions, of visiting the tombs of prominent revolutionaries amongst many trips; and how he asked me to finish his work on American Revolution, as his dying wish. I savored the names of those famous revolutions, as the words softly departed my lips. As I gazed around, not many seemed to listen to me; they depicted terrifying rage. They loathed the fear and hesitation in my words, and how unsure I sounded, unable to catch the passion in my words; wishing if only they could summon the revolutionaries back from the grave, to kill this last person, before they set to rest in peace again. I was unable to speak further. My skin was speckled with goosebumps, and I imagined an invisible monster grabbing me by the throat.

This was the only subject, I could speak on before such a large crowd, with the least fear I could contain.
I woke up with a jolt, before the countless eyes stared me to death, or before their summoning charms worked inviting more hordes. I jumped on to my Macbook, as I typed in haste, “How to overcome fear, a night before your final presentation”, as I smacked a key. A mammoth no. of 869,000 entries popped up, in a shocking 0.30 seconds, 10 entries displayed per page. It was now, that I came back to senses, realizing I was drenched in sweat. The search engine provided a huge relief, atleast I was sure, I was surrounded by countless people worse than me, needing more counseling for the same. After all, the theme seemed quite a hot and trendy topic, in contemporary times. 

I already knew the cause, it was fear, the globally proclaimed enemy who had defeated many, and whom almost everybody feared. I was not a lone slave, it had countless many, locked in its chilling dungeons. I started browsing about ‘fear’ now, amazed to see about 135 million entries published on net, about ten times the articles would have remained unpublished. ‘Fear’ seemed to have quite a large following, and many acquaintances, given such a massive recognition on just the net. I wondered how widely famous or infamous, whichever the case, it would be in everyone’s minds and hearts. Yet, not many of my classmates, elders or friends had talked much about it. A definition read, ‘Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat’, I thought, if the threat itself was perceived, and might not exist in flesh, then why did fear exist, many myths gave it different names, personalities, scope of power, range of weapons and what not… I guess a few lost men even tried to pray to it, trying to convert the rest to their faith with the aid of weapons and threats. But if it did not exist in the physical world, then it must reside in our minds or hearts. As I googled to find out, a place allocated in the either of those, by the wish of God, or biological reasoning, I was astonished. Only tissues, fluids and electrical signals had access to the brain, heart and all other organs. It seemed like a baffling puzzle to determine where fear actually resided, if at all, or had it flourished only due to the immense attention showered upon it, by all species, if not consciously, then in their sub-conscious domains.

I guess this puzzle had and will shroud the minds of even a common man, not just philosophers, who tries to find a pattern in nature’s fabric. I was least interested in trying my hand at the puzzle now; for now, I only bothered about my presentation coming off well, the next day. Yet, somewhere deep down, a battle was won, a notion was busted, the very thought of being a slave of a master (fear), who did not exist. I shut down the macbook afraid of getting rebuked again, if my parents or siblings discovered me hooked up on a macbook, at midnight.

The End
(Word Count:920)