A blatant critique on the three Abrahamic religions. |
"To My Friends of the Abrahamic Religions" Our differences are marked by similarities. Neither of us believe, for one, in the beginning a primeval bovine lapped salty ice until the grandfather of a metal-worker (or so it seems from his hammer) thought to have a son who had a son who with his brethren bled and scalped Ymir to create the world in which we live, or a sentient, ancient serpent circles the earth in its entirety to grasp its own tail with a salivating mouth, or that a boy and his dad crafted wax wings to free themselves from Crete, and in the midst of flight the boy soared to space where solar winds melted the wings and gravity grabbed the boy by the ankles and pulled him to the sea, or a feathered-serpent swooped down from the heavens to the underworld and wiped his bloody dick on the bones of the dead to resurrect them and create a fifth sun to brighten a world destroyed by a Noahless flood. The difference is, in addition to that, I don’t believe a voice in the sky turned a woman to salt for staring at a city in the distance, or an transdimensional spirit imbued a teenage girl with ghost cum to create an cannibalistic king who lives inside billions of folks simultaneously, or a Middle-Eastern man after trekking through sandstorms and barren deserts to the promised land stepped atop a rock, and flew into the sky to join an alien overlord in space. What if a blue-skinned, four arm creature descended from the skies, quadro-arms splayed out in welcoming, tongue flipping about in Hindi and Sanskrit not a bit of English to be found: would you accept this new leader as your personal savior and follow him to the afterworld and beyond, or would you deny him the chance, deny his piety, deny his deity and say, “No, no! Antichrist must he be!” then take up arms and shoot him down from the skies from whence he came, and assemble your armies and your nuclear bombs against this monster’s tan-faced children? Does your faith in such things, the brevity of your books explain away everything that is, or was, or ever would be to the point that a frizzle-haired German patent office worker would say, “Was ist das? Wie kann das sein?” and then dedicate his life to the all-powerful and forever knowing tyrant of your precious little novel, your singularity of a moral compass, or rather would he look at the leather bound tome you call Good and laugh jovially then get back to calculations and use symbols and sines and cosines and tangents and derivatives and integrations, though he’ll die long before the proofs are formulated and Higgs is found and the Swiss warp the lights and magnetic-fields and gravity of the Earth into a million tiny black holes ending life as we know it whether your deities wanted to or not. |