A Day In The Life Of Me, Angry Lily

Anger.

One simple thing can influence the world around you.

One small mistake can cause that same world to come crashing down.

That's exactly what I was thinking as I sat in the front seat of my dad's Forest Green BMW as he was driving me to the airport.

The car's interior was light leather and still had that new car smell, even though he bought it over a year ago. That could be considering the fact that he always uses air freshener. It's usually very comfortable in the car, but today it felt stuffy and crowded, even though there were only two of us in here.

I had begged him for three hours strait for him to not make me do this.

"Dad, please!" I was saying, "Why are you forcing me to live with That Woman. She's crazy out of her mind, my sanity is at stake here!"

'That Woman' would be my mom. A 49-year-old woman ruled by her will to be young. Whenever I'm over there she finds the most outrageous things to do. Last year we skydived onto a boat floating on a lake.

Don't get me wrong, I love her. And I'm not saying I don't enjoy the activities sometimes. But when I'm with her I'm usually afraid for my life.

"The only time your sanity was at stake was when I found out what you had done to Jonathan," he said. Go figure he was trying to guilt trip me into feeling sorry for myself.

My dad is the type of guy who thinks women should be vulnerable in every way. Who expects us to be fragile and weak. Who needs a man to help her make decisions. Yeah, right, after what happened I find it hard to believe he really believes that anymore. I guess once he makes up his mind almost nothing can change that, not even someone getting hurt.

"Come on Lily, what was I supposed to do. You got kicked out of school, almost getting arrested in the process. You're not aloud within 100 yards of his house, which includes the school, too. And even if that wasn't relevant to the situation, you wouldn't be able to go back there anyways, you'd be chased out in the first 3 minutes you stepped on the property. And you sure as hell can't take on *that* many people. You've got to understand Lil, this was our only option."

I pondered that for the last 5 minutes it took us to reach the airport. Then, before I knew it, I was boarding the 6:00 to Kansas.

I sank down deep in the seat, which was unusually comfortable for a coach flight, and plugged my mp3 into my ears.

Usually listening to music clears my mind of any worries, but today I can't keep it from wandering. What happened 2 days ago, on the 8th of October, still haunts my mind. No matter how much I want to keep it out, no matter how much I regret it, ever since that day the memory of his face after the fight is imprinted on my brain. Nowhere I go has the refuge I seek.

So I have 3 and a half hours on a plane, my choices are either to listen to music and try (unsuccessfully) not to think of Jonathan, or I can tell you a little about myself. I choose the later.

I'll tell you my basic information first. My name is Lily Ever Bloom. Before you ask, my mom was really into this weird stage where she studied up on the names of flowers and their meanings. If you ask me that's just a load of crap.

I am 16 years old and am, excuse me, was, a sophmore at Phoenix Union High School, but as I told you earlier, that didn't work out so well.

I am relatively tall and have long wavy blonde hair. Something odd about me would be I got three facial piercings just to annoy my dad in my freshman year. An eyebrow, nose, and lip piercing, and, yes, they did hurt, very much so.

I have major anger problems, which got me into this mess in the first place. If I could learn to keep my fat mouth shut, maybe i could get somewhere in life. Even with three people trying to hold me back I almost killed him.

By now you've probably guessed a few things about what happened. It was a fight, that's obvious. I hurt Jonathan gravely, anyone could've figured that one out. I won, not even close. I may have won the battle but the war is far from over.

My story was in the news all over Arizona, Utah, Nevada, and California, but it didn't make it's way over to Kansas. That is why my dad is shipping me there. Anyway, here is the story of what happened on October 8th.


What happens when anger gets the best of you?......Read on and find out.