Budget Blues

Money -
we need more than we’ve got.
The bills continue to accumulate
but just once I’d like to pay the lot.

I look around the house,
there’s really nothing more we need.
So why the hell do we continue to spend?
I think it’s just plain greed.

We’ve got plenty of nice furniture
and all the modern cons.
We’ve also got a hefty mortgage
and three enormous sons.

The family sedan is nearly paid for
but ‘they’ drive it more than us.
Work out all the fuel ‘I’ buy
and you’d think ‘we’ had a bus.

Crash repairs aren’t that cheap
as each of our boys now know.
As the boys driving experience increases
so the insurance premiums grow.

The electricity bill comes quarterly
but I have to put aside for it each pay.
Computers, stereos and fridge door lights
use much more power than they say.

The telephone bill is monthly
and I get a list of all the numbers called,
then I put out my hand for 50 bucks each
or threaten to have a lock installed.

It’s a fact of family mathematics -
the more you buy, the more they eat.
The less you buy and they eat just as much -
but from the take away down the street.

None of the boys take after their father
as they all want a University degree.
The cost of this education however,
is left entirely up to me.

My part time job is not so bad
and I hope the money is being wisely spent
My personal surgeon, lawyer and psychiatrist
is not just a dream, it’s an investment.

Money - there’s never enough to go around.
With the boys the bills get bigger,
while my wealthy spinster sister
often visits just to snicker.

Health and happiness are two things
they say money cannot buy.
I reckon if I was rich,
I’d give it a good old aussie try.

But there’s not a lot in life I want
except - to never have to worry,
about car repairs, telephone bills
and seeing the bank manager in a flurry.

But the day the last of the boys leave home
People will wonder what's so funny.
when they see me laughing all the way to the bank -
free at last to save some money.