The Day After

The day after
The time I run through our conversations
Over and over in my head
Desparate to find my mistake

The day that I look for the place
Where I could have said yes
Not denied myself
Not pretended that you were nothing.

I know you can't see this
This love I feel for you
But yet it all seems so obvious,
How can you not see it in my face?

But the worst part
About the day after
Is that tomorrow
I have to see you again and hear my demon's laughter.

I watch you laugh and scream for joy,
Wishing I could be the one to make you smile
The laughter taunts me, thrown in my face:
You are my demon.

My heart can't take this strain
It cracks, waiting for the last straw
To finish shattering it
But when I see you, I can't help but smile, and my heart heals again.

This cycle cannot continue
Heal and break; this can't go farther
For every time my heart heals
It grows a little harder

I decide that we can never be
You won't understand
I still can't understand these feelings
So new and wild inside me.

I am determined,
deep are the feelings I have, it's true.
But, I hate the way,
my heart grows hard by loving you.