fire and ice

I find my golden mind troubled and lost,
How can the gold shine so bright and be so dull,
Why do I know how the little silly things work but simple life eludes me,
I am everything and nothing at once,
I am a Idiot and Genius,
I walk as I fall
I am lost and know it all
I am the dull mind,
Slow , silly, and blind
but told I am a genuis at the same time,
I wander what is real and what they see,
what is so golden about me.