A VOICE TO LIVE WITH

                                      A VOICE TO LIVE WITH



The story is about one boy who after some major incidents in his life finds himself in trouble from all the cornors. The story deals with how this boy fights all the prolblems and then.....................





1) TENSED MONDAY

          one monday morning shiv got up from his bed and looked straight to the walll where the clock was hanged. it was six in the morning and his alarm forgot its duty. He became tensed and started revising chapter as much as he could. his aim was to secure at least 80% marks in class viith as to get addmission in good school in delhi...where his father was living.





the rest by shiv......







I was tensed about my paper as sceince was always my enemy as far as marks was concerned. i went to the examination hall with a lot of fear in my heart. the invigilator started distributing question papers. as he was coming nearer to me, my heart started pumping faster. the rush in adreline, expectations were making me feel tired, at last , i recieved my paper and after going through it, i felt relexed as it was an easy paper thanx to Mrx dixit(my science teacher). i did the paper very well and after revising it ..i left the exam hall.



it was Monday again - my result day,i received my  report card, i was passed with 74% marks.I felt quite relaxed but not so much happy as i could have scored more than this. But i was relaxed as i thougt getting admission in delhi would be easier now. My brother said that i should have done better than this, but i dint listen him as i do all the times. by the way i hve two brothers . we started packing our things as we have to move to delhi in few days now. i wanted to be in chandigarh but it was not about the beauty of chandigarh ,,it was about the girl living next door. i was just 13 but had  craving for that girl,, boys may 12 or 19 ,,,boys are boys. its not that only that girl was my favourite , as i used to see many of them and wanted to make them my date but was not to be as i  was a ten times introvert u could think.



After packing,we left  for delhi leaving chandigarh. i never knew i will feel so bad leaving chandigarh as i was moving ahead for delhi I was feeling if the city was trying to hold us back. but this is life and u have to move on. we enterd delhi and watching cars and all moving as fast as asteroids in spaces i felt great. i was very happy that because of my father i will be able to study and live in a place like delhi. Living was alright but studying? i thougt i will get admission in best of schools very easily and again i was wrong as if i was sitting in a maths test. One day my brothers came with a school form in thier hands. i thought i got an admiision but see again i was wrong. my brother said " 85% is reqiured for admiision ". the words were like some one just shut the door of toilet at the hour of need. my father yelled at them'' why did u bring the form then?" my father was now at his peak. my brothers confirmed that this form is of a government school as it is the only option left with us. These  words anti-12 year old boy. i  thought of my school life in government school.

next morning again which was also  a tensed monday morning, my father  told me to go with him to a partcular school. i was at the gate of the school the the name of the school read ST ANGELS SENIOR SECONADERY SCHOOL. ANGELS---  is it a girls school? that was the first thing coming my in my mind, but thank god this time also i was wrong. ANGELS  not only meant to describe for girls ,,stupid me. the day was so good as my interview with the principle went smooth and she ignored my marks and gave me admmision in her school. i was so happy and so was my father.



BEAUTIFUL TUESDAY

      it was tuesday. the day was very special for me . not for only a single reason but for more than single reason. first was me getting admission in a public school. that day, my head teacher who was born to become a teacher only with specs on her eyes, anger and smile going on together as smile for parents and principal and teachers and anger for students. she took me first to VIIth b and then VIITH c. she asked the boy sitting on the first bench if there sit available in class. the  boy who i think was either beaten up by our head teacher on previous day or was about to be beaten up beacuse of not doing homework,,,whatver the reason may be ,,,he was not able to say anyhthing and then another boy looked like his friend came to his rescue and said that their is no sit available.



I never knew that when i ll turn back to exit from the class my life will see a change or to be precise my heart...tat was the second reason tat day was so special to me. I found a girl standing on the door asking for permission to enter into the class in a very light voice " ma'aam may i coming". I just kept watching her face. She was so beautiful. My head teacher gave me  my first lesson of her;ie; a hard look.



At last, I got my name registered in class VIITH A  as luckily one seat was available. I kept on coming to school regularly and time was passing away and soon, three months were gone. I was all leaned in my studies only. But one day , during maths class the same voice touched my ears “ maam may I come in”. suddenly , I left my pending arithmetical calculations and looked at the door. Again, I was lost in that face. The only difference was that she was having a better smile on her face this time. She came to our class to distribute English copies. She was a magician as whenever I use to be in tension , her face was enough for my refreshment. I always wanted to be with her but god never gave me a chance. As the time passed, I forgot her but just for a while. Exams came and went and we were promoted to ninth standard. In this one year, I failed to know her name. I decided that this year I will talk to her as she will come in my class if she takes Sanskrit as subject in place of hindi. The names iof ninth ’b’ were announced and it was a Sanskrit class as all students who had interest on Sanskrit were there. She was also in that class but unfortunately in different section.



I tried to know her name but failed all  the time because I was a shy boy and still is and  never dared to ask other girls about her name. in the first term, I did very poor in exams and decided that now I would run away from her and her face. I did it but for no good. But I still was determine to study and not get involved in love. But as they say”YOU DON’T DO LOVE, IT JUST HAPPENS AND IT IS BOUND TO HAPPEN”. Once in a biology class, she came to my class but I didn’t knew that she had come. My teacher said,”priyanka, go to class Vth and keep these copies on the desk. I don’t know what happened that time but I looked up and saw that same girlis picking up the copies. I became  happy suddenly and my friend said”what happened to you”. All of my one year was gone knowing her name and when I decided that I will not give importance to her then I came to know about her name.



School went on a picnic one day but on that day I came to know about her relationship with an another boy of the same class. She was happily chatting with her. My heart was sinking. My friends told me that she had many affairs in the past too. But, I did not believed them. I blames her for all this but then came to know that she is not the real culprit but the culprit is THE DAMN AND DEAR HEART.



IN  CLASS 10th too, she did not came in my section, but I always used to see her during break time and after school at the school gate. All of my friends used to tell their love interest but I never did as I was a shy boy. During my exams , my father bought a new house and it was a big news for us. We were all happy and I was happy also but after a while my happiness changed into sadness because our new home was very far away from school. It meant that if we ll shift to new home then I ll have to leave school and with it priyanka. I got upset with this but then I made up a mind that priyanka is just another girl who came to my life. I will forget her after few months…I decided. On the last day of our exams , I waited on school gate for her. After a whilw , she came with her friends and did not gave me a look even. She was in her world of happiness and I was in my world of sadness. She was going away from me and I wanted just one last look of hers. I wanted het to turn her head round like what happens in films or movies but those are movies and this was reality.



We got our result on 25th may , priyanka and me both were passed. I wet to school to collect my certificates from school. My head teacher was giving it in the same class where I went first  when I came to school on the first day. I was feeling as if priyanka would come again and I will get to see her. But all what I wanted was not happening. As I was taking my certificates from teacher that same voice touched my ear chords  “ ma’am, may I please come in”. I saw her after 6th second as my eyes were struck to her not believing that she is here for real. I want to home happily thinking that it must not be a co-incident that I met her again @ the same place where I met her  the first time. I tried to forget her but she was following me. I did not study@ all and because of her. My life went on like this only for the next five years.





A WEDNESDAY



At last I got my bachelors degrre from delhi university. My har work og last three years paid off. I got a decent job in a MNC but the date of joining was still few days away. I decided to take a break as it was the most appropriate. I went to shimla on a week long holiday. I went alone there as I don’t wanted any one to disturb me. When you go outside with your friends then u have to sometime do something which u don’t want to do like swimming in shimla…weird but cant say no to friends. When you go with your family you have to be with them all the time. When you go with your girl friend u have to follow her  aal the time and half of your holiday is wasted in things like that. Well, I have experienced my holidays with my family and friends. I don’t know exactly what girlfriends do on holidays but its only because of some of my friends experience that I am saying this.



I took a room in hotel GULMARG which was just a walk away from mall road. I was given my room’s key. I entered my room and saw the beautiful scenary. I was lost in the beauty. Seven years before too, I saw some one and felt just like that. But, there was some one who don’t wanted me to enjoy the beauty of the nature. The guy who brought my bags to my room was standing right behind me and was making sounds as if he has bad throat but after few seconds I realized what all that was about. This is the most amazing feature of hotel business, no matter how heavy or light your bag may be , they ll themselves bring to your room  to get those extra perques. I  gave him  a 20 ruppee note. He gave me a look as if he was working in TAJ PALACE and expected a 200 rupees from me.



After that, I went for an evening walk. After so many years that my mind was free of all the non sense things and I was in a relax mood. I sat in a coffee shop at mall road . there is nothing like sipping coffee and watching people from different parts of country and world enjoy themselves. Beautiful hills are icing on the cake. I closed my eyes to relax on a the comfy couch. Suddenly, I heard a voice that mady my mind go in past. It was the same voice” may I come in”.i opened my eyes and what I saw was unbelievable for me, I thought this aint reality but some one in my heart said- HEY, ITS ME…yes, the girl standing @ the door was priyanka. She came inside the coffee shop and got words of abuse from the owner of the coffee shop. She started crying and took her things and ran outside the coffee shop crying. I got up first to stop her but I stooped my myself and was helpless. I dint knew why she was there and for what purpose? I paid the bill for the coffee which was still waiting for some one to have its one sip. I ran after her and followed her. She entered another shop where again she got a piece of mouth from the owner. She moved back to go. Here simple, beautiful, innocent  always happy face that I saw seven years back turned into a sad, tensed face. She was looking very tired.



I came back to my hotel. I was not able to sleep that night as her sad face was coming in my mind. Next morning, I decided to go to the same coffee shop but was unable to reach her. I enquired about her but failed all the times. I was feeling ver bad that why I didn’t follow her. Thw whole day went searching for her. Next day was my train to delhi. I did not wanted to go back to delhi but then I was in shimla for the a week and did not knew myself that what reason I would give to my father if I stay here for few more days. Next day, I was @ the railway station and train was about to leave in a few minutes time. It started moving and I was thinking that if is should stop or go. I told to myself “ look shiv, you lived your life peacefully for this three years because you thought priyanka is happy but now when she is in pain and sufeering then you will not be able to live happily and peacefullty, how can you leave her, don’t be an idiot, you love her, then go and help her”. As I finished with my thoughts I saw that train had left the station, that made my mind take decision easily. I rushed  back to the hotel and checked in again. Agter that, I went to a temple where many priests and other outsiders were living in tents. I searched for priyanka but nobody knew her and then that voice came again,,, the same voice which used to connect my heart with priyanka,, the SAME VOICE  WHICH I USED TO LIVE WITH. “who are you” she said. She was behind me and was asking my identity. Her face was full of fear and tiredness. Eyes were looking yellowish as if she had not slept for years. She was looking weak and her arms were as thin as stem of a plant. She was with one bucket full of water. This was the first time she communicated with me. Now, her face expressions were changing. She startes weeping now, her eyes were full of tears . I did not wanted her to cry and I said “ don’t cry priyanka!. She was surprised. I gave my introduction to her but did not said that I love her..



I said that I was in school with her but never met. I saw a ray of hope coming on her face and then suddenly gone. I saw a glimpse of smile. She requested me to go away from her. I asked the reason that why she is living here.  She was adamant in her words and I was in mine. I asked her again and again . she got irritated and slapped me on face. She stated crying and I picked her bags from her tent and ordered her in  firm voice to follow me. I walked five steps but she was not behind me and after 20 steps I saw her following me. I felt relaxed that she is coming. I took some money from the bank and went to hotel and took a separate room for her. We entered the room. I said “ I am in the next room to the lift , if u have any kind of problem you can call me or come to my room”. I gave her my cellphone and went to my room.



In midnight @ 12:30, some one knocked my door. I opened the door and saw priyanka. She was feeling scared alone in the room and said something that surprised me “ can I sleep with you in your bed or in your room, im feeling scared alone”. I said” yes, you can, please, go to the bed and sleep there, I will sleep on sofa”. She said, “ its not a problem, we can sleep on the bed”. When she said thi to me , I got to know one thing that now, she was believing me and that made me feel nice. We slept on the cornors of bed. I made sure I maintain a good distance from her. I wanted to ask the reason of her misery. As I turned back to ask, I saw tears  coming from her eyes. I asked her the reason at last. But she was not ready to say anything. She said, “ why are you helping me”. It was my time to remain silent as I had the answer for this question but I dint answer jst thot” stupid, she don’t knows how much I love her,, is that not a reason enough”. I asked her to sleep.



I woke up @ 8 in the morning and saw only me on the bed. I thought she might be in her room. I checked her room  too but she was not their. I got tensed and thought that she has gone. When I entered my room I saw priyanka making tea for both of us. She said,” I ordered tea, they did not come for 15 minutes then I thought to go myself and bring it”. She asked me,” how much sugar” with a smile on her face. I said, “ one spoon”. Her smile was more sweeter than sugar. She said,” afte a very long time im feeling happy”. This gave me a sign that she was feeling comfortable now. I thought I would take her out so that her mind feels fresh but she rejected my idea graciously. And said “I have to go to finda job”. I said,” you don’t need to find a job, lets go to delhi, you have a home there, your parents must be tensed about you”. She was unwilling to return. I asked her the reason. She kept silenced and went outside the room . her silence was killing me from inside but the worst part was that she did not wanted to tell me anuthing. In the meantime my mother called me and was asking me that when would I come back to delhi. My date of joining was coming nearer. It was my prime concern 1 week ago but now its priyanka.



I went to find out priyanka and saw her sitting at a bech on all road. I asked her that now she has to tell me the reason. She looked in my eyes and started telling what happened with her 3 years ago.



,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,FIVE YEARS AGO< when I left the school, she too left the school only to be in the school of her boy friend, nikhil. She fought with her father to get her admiited in the same school where his boy friend was studying. She was happy with her boy friend so much hat never concentrated on studies. She got failed in the examinations and with that her boy friend also lrft him and wen to America.  Her bad days started as her father also died in an accident which added her misery. She left studies and started working in a government hospital as a nurse cum maid,,actually maid. Her mother’s health was dying. She and her mother left delhi and came to shimla to live with her uncle. Her uncle welcomed them and admitted her mother to the hospital in shimla and her mother is still there. Her uncle , one day, tried to rape her and in reaction to it, priyanka slapped him. Her uncle throwene him out of the home and also stopped the financial support for the hospitalization of her mother. The doctors were kind to keep her mother in the hospital. Now, 3 months hospital fees worth Rs 50000 is due on her and doctors are also not giving support. She has to find a job in order to pay the fees in installments.



After saying all these, she started crying again. I was not able to speak anything. I was feeling like killing my self. When I thought she was living happily, I also tries to forget her thinking that she is happy in her world, but I did not knew that at that time she was under so much trouble.



It was evening and priyanka requested me to give her some money so that she could buy some medicines for her mother. I asked her to give me the medicine slip and go to hospital and assired her that I would bring the medicines with me. I bought the medicines, some fruits and flowers for her mother and went to hospital. I greeted her mother ,” hello, aunty, how are you!”, before you say anything I want to tell you that I am just a friend of priyanka and I work with her in the coffe shop with her, she makes coffee and I have to serve”. Priyanka felt relaxed and satisfied by my explanation or introduction. Her mother was very nice. On that day, I got to know that why priyanka was so beautiful.



I went to delhi for few days and joined my office. On the second day I gave my boss one of the biggest shocks that no boss  could take . I asked him leave for a week on just my second day of office. I do not know why god was showering happiness on me but I was not hesitant to take those. My boss gave me leave and I felt on top of the world. I felt quite relaxed now and went back to shimla.



On reaching shimla, i understood why god made me come to shimla. I saw priyanka sitting with a boy in white shirt beside her mother. I knew it was nikhil, I turnerd back. I turned back because if I would see priyanka than I will start crying and if I see nikhil then I will hit him.

Suddenly,. Priynka stopped me from behind,” shiv, why are you going back”, do u know who has come”. I don’t wanted her to say that nikhil has come back but she proved me wrong. She said,” nikhil went to America due to the death of his granny and when he came after 1 month then he did not find me, he started to foind me and reaced shimla , he loves  me so much, he made efforts for the last six months to reach me”. I felt very bad as I made efforts for last seven years  and she was not able to see that but she could see the love of nikhil. I said holding my tears inside ,” great, you are very lucky, that there is some one in this world beside your mother who loves you so much”. She was happy again, the real smile was back again. As she entered the hospital room again, I moved back and went to my hotel, picked my bags and checked out,,,,,,,,,,

I saw many couples holding hands and walking and nice romantic music was playing.

It was bon jovi’s song-IS THERE ANY ONE HERE TO EXPLAIN <WHAT MY LOVE IS?.



I got jealous of all these couples and moved forward to station. I do not know what happened to me but I went to the hospital again to meet priyanka’s mother. I thought that if priyanks’s mother would b alone only then I will meet her or else I will go back to the staion and take my train.

I came to the hospital and saw priyanka chatting with her mother. I saw priyanka for continuosly and kept watching her. There were many questions in my mind. Why she loves nikhil and not me? Tears came in my eyes , I moved back and went to a church.  I do not know why I wnt to the church, I never believed in god then why did I came here.



I saw an old lady sitting next to me. She was praying. I also started praying and tears again came to my eyes. Some one touched my shoulders . I opened my eyes and saw the old lady. She said,” what happened to you child”. I needed some one at that time to share my feelings and I shared my feelings with her. I told her that now I love her very much but now this nikhil has come and she says she loves her,, I love her so much so why didi\  not she understands.

She smiled and said” whats your name”. I said, “ shiv”. She continued,” shiv, look, believe in god, you will feel nice”. I responded in anger,” I don’t believe him. I am here because my mother told me to come here”. I lied. She said,” why do u blame god for what has happened with you, you are feeling so sad because you have lost the love of your life, look son, there are many hurdles in life which we have to  remove and walk forward. This is nothing. Do you know I don’t have legs, and rest of my life will be on  wheel chair, my husband died on the 7th day of our marriage. I loved her too. But I never lost faith in god. What do u think god is there in this CROSS or a STATUE. No , my son, god is I you, when u love some one than you know that god is available in that person. God is in your parents too as you love them. You have a big life ahead of you, I don’t have any one in my life. I just have the voice of my husband peter,, who died in kargil war. My god is in my husband and I come here daily to meet him. I just has his voice to live with. You are blesses with  a 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears….you cant stop priyanka love nikhil but no one can stop you either to love her…..just love my son,,,rest leave to god, now I have to go,,,god bless you”.



Her words were like an ointment for my heart and changed my viewpoint in a second. I realized that if you love some one than just love don’t expect any return but if the girl or boy to whom you love is in your life than nobody can stop you to get her or him. I got up and started to move to the station at last thinking a that I am the most unluckiest person in this world.



I saw priyanka @ mall road . when she saw me she came running to me and said,” where were you, I tried to find you everywhere, you stupid, you do not have guts to say me”. I said,” say what?” she said,” you still do not know what you have to say”. I said,” no”. she yelled @ me,” I LOVE YOU”. I was frrezed there and said “what”. I said,” but you love nikhil, then why are you saying this to me”. She said,” have you gone mad, nikhil came to applogise to me and my mother, I wanted to see how will you feel once I say that I love nikhil and you still let me and nikhil love each other and stepped back, this thing is done only by those people who knows the importance of love……but after that you went away and I felt so bad that I broke your heart and mine too…….plz tell me now instead”. i said,” what..”. she said,” array yaar,, what kind of lover is he? What do I expect to hear from you”. I was so happy that I forgot those 3 magical words. I held her tight in my arms and said “ I LOVE YOU”…………





And do u know what why those couples were walking hand in hand together as it was VALENTINES DAY





I don’t know  from where that lady came and from where the idea to go to a church came in my mind as because of this I missed my train. If I could have got that train , priyanka would have been a history, but now I believe that there is god.



That old lady is living her life as she has the voice of her god , i.e, her husband’s voice but with me I have three gods- my father, my mother and my priyanka.