True Love

                                                                True Love
“You know I love you, baby,” he said as he looked deep into her eyes holding her cheek in his hand.

“I know you do. I just wish you showed it more.” She whispered through her tears.

“I do show you baby, and those girls are liars. They’re just jealous of what we have, so you know they gonna lie to make you not trust me. Only person you need to believe is me. You know our relationship ain’t nothing without trust boo.” He kissed her passionately as he wiped the tears away.

“I know baby. It’s just that it hurts so much to even hear that you’re with someone else. I love you so much and put so much in to us working, I just don’t want it to be in vain.”

“Don’t worry girl. You’re the only one for me.”

                                                                  ~*~
This was the latest girl, number 4 to be exact. She called me. I don’t know how she got my number or how she knew me, but she was sure I was Tony’s girl.

“You need to check your man.” She said over the receiver. “Girl, he talked about you all the time, but that didn’t stop him from having sex with me.” That hurt, but I listened as she told me how he approached her three months ago and how they had sex the first night they met and almost every night following. She told me how on the day of my ballet recital when he told me he had to work, he was with her.

“Oh,” was all I could say when she finished.

“Yes, girl I can send you all the text he sent me if you want, so you have proof when you confront him. I mean I’m telling you cause when I found out your name I looked you up on Facebook and you looked like a nice girl.”

He talked about me to her, maybe he does love me.

                                                                    ~*~

“Girl, you need to leave his ass alone. This has gone on too long. How many chances you gone give him? Wake up, Jayla!!!” Taylor told her friend. Taylor hated Tony for the way he treated Jayla, but she really hated how he had her friend wrapped around his finger. “She deserves so much better,” she thought to herself. She hated to be mean to Jayla, she was so sweet, but being nice wasn’t getting her point across.

“I don’t even know why you’re crying. You know he’s a dog and aint’ never gone change. One day I’m gone stop wasting my breath on you, you gone run back to his lying ass anyway.” Taylor sat back against her chair frustrated.

“It’s hard Tay. I’ve been with him for so long that I don’t want to be without him.”

“Don’t give me that desperate shit Jayla. He has been cheating since day one and you are in this relationship by yourself.”

                                                                  ~*~

Jayla knew what her friend was saying was true. Tony had never been faithful, but he had such a way with words and made her feel like she was so special that it didn’t matter what he did. Besides all the infidelity he was the perfect boyfriend, caring, gentle, good in bed, and so much more. But like Taylor said.

“The fact that he’s a fucking lying ass cheater makes him a shitty boyfriend. Everything else doesn’t matter. If you can’t trust him to keep his dick in his pants then move on.”
Jayla knew what she needed to do but, she couldn’t imagine life without Tony.

                                                                ~*~
I knew I shouldn’t have messed with Nikki. She always was a hoe and I shouldn’t have trusted her. Why did that stupid girl have to call Jayla, now she crying again? I hate when she cries. I do love her, but I’m not bout to be tied down to one girl. I mean she’s my main girl, the girl I’ll marry, but I’m too young to be faithful. I mean I know it hurts her but I’m sure she out here talking to other dudes and that not cool. I know Jay will never sleep with another man, but talking his cheating in my eyes, it all leads to the same place.

“Man, I’m gone kill Nikki.” I turn my radio down as I Justin get in the car.

“What happened?” He asked as he adjusts his hat.

“She called Jayla and told her about us.”

“That’s messed up man. What Jay say?” Justin asked as he responded to a text.

“The usual shit. I don’t love her, how could I. I calmed her down, but that’s not the point and I know
Taylor is filling her head with a load of bull.”

“Yea Taylor ain’t no joke. She don’t take no mess. You know I tried to get at her and she would even give me the time or day.  And she broke up with Greg when she saw him looking at another girl.” Justin had the biggest thing for pushy woman and Taylor was just his type. She was very sexy, but she had the attitude of a bull, that in itself was a turn off to me.

“I know Jayla told me about that. I mean but I’m not worried about Jay doing anything about this Nikki thing. She always end up forgiving me she love me too much to actually hold anything against me. She might be mad for a couple of days but she’ll get over it.”

                                                                      ~*~

I lay in my bed wondering why I do this to myself; I deserve so much more than this. But I can’t leave him. I don’t wanna be alone. Who else will love me, who else will hold me? I need him, even if he doesn't always say I love you I know he does. All those girls they were just sex, he always comes home to me and I am his one and only. My friends don’t know what we have and they’ll never understand.  But I can’t help thinking that maybe it’s all a lie. Maybe this is what he tells all the girls and I’m just another fool. I feel his arm tighten around my waist as he pulls me closer to his body.

“I love you.” He whispers into my ear sleepily. I feel his sweaty body against mines and can’t help but wonder who else he’s held like this. Who else did he whisper those words to after making love?

“I love you too.” I think, but I cannot say the words. I feel something inside me breaking something that wants more. I can’t ignore the pain. The tears surprise me when they wet my cheek. I can’t do this anymore.

                                                                      ~*~
I feel her body begin to quiver in my arms. I hate that I do this to her, but she’ll be ok, right? She knows I love her, but why do I feel this way. She didn’t say it back, is she done with me? Did I push her too far? No she’s just going through the motions; we’ve been through this before. She’ll never leave me.

                                                                        ~*~
I can’t stay here. My heart won’t let me. Although I love him, he will never treat me right. I have to move on. I slowly push away from him and feel for my clothes in the dark room.

“Where are you going?” he asked me sitting up, it almost sound as if he’s remorseful.

“I don’t know, I just have to leave.” 

                                                                        ~*~

“What do you mean you don’t know? It’s the middle of the night. Come back to bed,” I said softly as the panic built inside me.

“I just can’t…” she stopped moving. We sat in silence for a while neither of us knowing what to say.

“My heart, Tony,” she finally said breaking the silence. “My heart is broken and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I can fix it baby.” I got up and walked towards her and grabbed her naked body, holding her in the darkness. I didn’t want her to go. She can’t go I need her.

“But you’re the reason it’s broken. I don’t think you can fix it. I have to go.” She pushed me away from her and run into the bathroom. I followed behind and banged on the door.

“Come out, Jayla. We can talk about this, you don’t have to leave.” I could feel the desperation inside me eating away at my pride. She didn’t respond.

“Jayla, stop over reacting. I already told you I was sorry.” Angry replaced my fear as I yelled at her through the wooden barrier. She still didn’t answer.

“Jayla, open the fucking door.” Still no response.

“Jayla…I need you, please.” I felt myself breaking down. I never realized how important she was to me. I don’t think I can live without her.

I heard the door unlock. She stood in front of me with a look I had never seen before. A look of complete clarity, it frightened me.

“I love you Anthony, I really do, but I love myself a little bit more.” She stood on her tip toes and kissed me softly, wiped the single tear from my face away. Then she pushed past me and out the door and I stood naked and alone.