Cry

I tie the belt around my arm
It never does me any harm
I pull it tight, never loose
It may as well be my noose
Deciding whether I live or die
Deciding that my life is a lie
I take my needle, my poison of choice
My shoulder's angel has no voice
My swelling need has silenced him
The look in his eyes is very grim
He cries as the needle pierces my skin
And fears for my next of kin
I feel my oncoming high
When then I hear a piercing cry
The cry of my pride and joy
The cry of my perfect baby boy
In my darkest heart of hearts
I hope that the infant departs
So that me and my needle can be in peace
And all the worries in my life will cease
I stumble my way to the child
The angel on my shoulder going wild
He senses there will be something bad
An incorrect thought he has never had
I run to his nursery and search with zeal
A sinking in my heart I feel
I run around and look some more
I think to myself "What a chore"
I trip and something breaks my fall
Someone that will never again crawl
Potential that will never be
A grown up son I'll never see
I look at him and start to weep
I know that I will never again sleep
Not without seeing his blank face
And knowing that I put him in this place
My sorrow will forever be veiled
About the son that I failed