Chanting Graces Part 2

Book 2:



Property of Specs









Chapter 1: Before it all started



“What from the start?” had been my first reaction when Tattsman told me to write this. Truth be told I don’t know how this all began, something to do with the gates of hell overflowing or something like that. Truth be told I embraced its arrival more then anything. My names Eva or at least it is according to the boys, I had tried to tell Grim my real name a couple of times but he would always tell me the same thing, “The past stays on the other side of the wall.”



It had been two weeks before my sixteenth birthday when the infestation started. Unlike most girls my age I had hit puberty early and as such was embraced by the older guys at school. I remember I used to flirt with them and tease them, all the while walking around in the skimpiest outfits I could find, something that got me into real trouble once.



It was at a party and one of the boys was all over me, I told him he had no chance and continued the night not thinking anything of it. I had stepped into one of the rooms to call my dad when the door swung open behind me and I was pinned on the ground. I screamed as the boy tried to restrain me, I was lucky in that the music had stopped and the whole room next door could hear me.



Two seconds afterwards the door swung open and he was dragged off of me before anything happened. Since that day I have always felt the need to cover up in front of people, my dads grey knitted sweater was perfect for this.



Speaking of my dad, he was well known for his love in optics something he felt the need to make me involved in. He had installed cameras all over the house, something that made sneaking into it almost impossible unless you knew a thing or two about them.



He took down most of them in an effort to preserve them when word spread of the infestation, leaving only his non valuable relics installed just in case. Truth is without them we would not have lasted as long as we did and the boys would not have found me whole let alone alive.



We had stocked up with supplies and managed to live off of them for two months into the infestation. Dad took it on himself, much to my mother’s dreads, to restock our supplies after this. It was after his return from his trip to find supplies, that mom went crazy. The two of them would argue hours on end. I had taken my portion of the food to my room, mainly snack foods of soft drinks and candy.



Two days after my dads return something horrible happened. My mothers’ screams could be heard over my music and I knew something was wrong. I had been sitting on my bed when my dad, or at least the monster that looked like him, entered the room covered in blood. I sprinted for my cupboard and bound the doors shut behind me.



The beast never lost interest in my presence and scratched at my door non stop. Sometime passed and another shadow joined his as this new person joined him in the clawing at my cupboard.



I lost track of time within the darkness of my cupboard and could not tell you how long I was in there listening to the clawing of the beasts. All I know is that I had finished all my supplies and was physically drained when I heard them.



I thought I was hearing things when I heard a giant thud from somewhere in the house. Then another, this time closer towards my room. I heard boots walking down the hall in the direction of my room. The clawing stopped on the other side of the doors and I remained silent as I hid myself amongst my clothes.



The boots sped up as they got to my room, two big thuds later and a couple of smaller ones and my heart was in my throat. The doors to my cupboard opened and there before me stood Grim in all his glory. He must have stared straight at me a few times but did nothing, instead a yell from somewhere inside the house got his attention and he left. I tried to yell after him but could not find my voice. The doors to my cupboard now open I could see the bodies of my parents laying in my room their heads now removed.



I struggled to stand as I wobbled down the corridor and out of my house. I saw him again this time he had his hands filled with my dad’s cameras. I tried my best to follow him on my still shaking feet. He had walked around to the far side of the jeep when I finally got to the vehicle. My feet caved and I fell to the ground as he dumped the contents of his hands into the car. I tried to yell again as he walked past me and back up to the house. I thought about following him back into the house but found my legs to be too weak and my body deprived of energy. I dragged myself up and climbed into the jeep, only to find myself fall into the gap between the front and back seats taking all the electronics on the back seat with me. My eyes grew dark as I succumbed to exhaustion.



When I regained consciousness I was still within the jeep, electronics covering me. I pulled myself free of the mess within the vehicle only to find myself alone. Deciding on a direction I began to walk away from the vehicle towards the closest building.



The door was locked with a green smiley face staring back at me. I continued down the street only to find the same thing on all the houses, all the while keeping the jeep in sight. I was twelve houses down when they returned to the vehicle from the other direction.



I tried to run to them, only to find my feet still working against me. “Have we got it all?” I heard one of them say as another checked the vehicle. “Yep,” another said as they walked in the opposite direction.



Cursing myself for choosing the wrong direction down the road, I made my way back to the jeep. Resting for a little while I then made my way down the road in the direction that they had disappeared in. I might as well have been running a marathon as far as my feet were concerned.



I approached the signs that warned of explosives and spurred on with the energy that they inspired. By the time I got to the green line I was beyond thought. The doors all smiled at me with their green features as I made my way into the blurred horizon. The end of the road loomed as I stopped in the middle of a roundabout next to a circle spray painted on the road to my right.



The green faces had ended and all but a large gate stood before me. I stumbled up to it and found my feet soothe at the sound of the doorbell ringing. A commotion could be heard from the roof with whispers following suit. “Shotty not,” I heard someone scream from within the building. A minute or so passed and none answered. Summoning all my strength I pushed the doorbell again, this time finding success.



A figure jumped from the rooftop and approached the gate. It was him from before, I couldn’t belief my luck. The gate swung open and I dived at him, my arms wrapped at his waist. A clatter was heard at my side but I did not care, it was him he would save me no matter what. “Thank you,” I heard myself say as I once again succumbed to unconsciousness.



Chapter 2: In and amongst it



“... The fuck Tattsman!” a blur yelled from in front of me. My vision took a few seconds to focus only to find myself staring at a small table with a bench-top as a backdrop. Mumbles could be heard all around me but all I could focus on was the cold glass of water sitting on the table before me, the drops of condensation racing each other down the glass only to collect in a cool puddle at the bottom.



Reclining in the arm rest I devoured the water within the glass in moments and with the pleasures of the soothing cool liquid came the rest of my vision. A small gasp escaped from me as my eyes settle on the individual to my left. ‘It’s him!’ I told myself as I saw the my savior and hero in all his glory. I sat and admired him for a while only to find the glass getting a bit heavy in my hand. I placed the glass on the bench top all the while staring at him, hoping he would notice. A blur to my right ricochetted off the fridge and with it my goal had been achieved.



“She lives...” my hero had said all the while staring down the buffoon that had jumped into the fridge only moments ago. My eyes darted between the two and whilst one would say that they shared similar qualities, there was something that separated the two in their presence, something I couldn’t put my finger on at the time. “So you feeling better?” his words sailed towards me and with them brought a flush of red. Raising my hands to my face I tried to speak from behind them but found I had to nod with the words being caught in my throat.



"Hungry at all?" he asked this time offering the a plate of apple slices. Whilst my stomach cried out and longed for the food my head took charge and shook from right to left. "Not now anyway," I had said finding my voice becoming free of its captor. "Why's that?" a fat tattoo ridden man said to my side. I ignored him and rose my palms to the rest of the room. The blood had dried but I was sure the impact would still have been significant.



"I've seen what happens when you eat something after touching it. Actually do you mind if I use the shower?" I had asked hoping that I had not asked for to much. "Sure go for it," my hero had said all the while smirking at me as he ate the apple pieces before him. This did not help for whilst holding a cup was one thing, my body was too exhausted to stand. I avoided his eye contact as I made several attempts at standing each finding with them failure. "Alright I'm going to help you this once, only because we need to discuss something serious," he said sternly as he raised me into his arms and with it my heart rate.



In his arms I travelled down the hall and into a room, a single bed lay in the far corner and an en-suite bathroom to the left. Placing me on top of the closed toilet seat lid, he told me that he would be outside in the room if  I needed anything all the while turning on the shower for me. As if by the sound of the rushing water my body seemed to gain energy accordingly and within moments of his departure into the bedroom I was undressed and in the shower, the warm water bringing my body more to life with each drop.



A few moments passed and whilst the water that had gathered at my feet that had initially turned a deep mauve, began to fade into opaque his words could be heard through the open door, “Ok I have to ask you something serious now.” Within an instant I was out the shower and peering into the far corner of the room. There he was sitting on the bed with his eyes diverted away from the en-suite and towards the skirting board to his side.



“Sure what is it?” I had asked now making my way into the room thinking he had not noticed me. I don’t know if it was because I felt so comfortable around him or whether it was because he would not look at me, but there I was in the room soaking wet and naked before him. “Have you..” a cough and a fist to his knee later he continued, “Have you.. you know,” he said all the while maintaining his focus on the wall to his side.



“Have I what?” I had said making my way even closer to him now. “Have you been bitten? Was any of that blood yours?” he managed to say  finishing his previously failed attempt at a sentence. “No! No I promise none of it was mine,” the words leaving my lips like a volcanic eruption. “Look! See no bites,” I continued all the while rotating within the centre of the room, but still he did not look.



“You didn’t look,” I found myself saying as the disappointment overwhelmed me. “That’s okay, there are clothes in that cupboard for when you are finished so just leave your dirty ones in the bathroom. I’ll be outside so when you’re done just give us a yell,” he said now getting up from the bed. “Okay,” I found myself saying as I headed back towards the shower as he made his way to the bedroom door.



“Um, before you go. Can I at least know your name?” I found myself saying from the doorway to the en-suite, allowing him a final chance to look at me before his departure. “It’s Grim,” he said with his eyes focused forward as he closed the door behind him. Grim. My hero had a name and his name is Grim. “Oh wait!... Don’t you want to know mine,” I said realizing that I was to late.



After drying myself off I made my way to the cupboard where I found a floral dress and a white woolen jumper and, now happy with my selection, I made my way over the now soaked carpet of the room and made my way into the hallway. I called out his name a few times but he did not respond. An orange line to my feet got my attention and curiosity and before I knew it I found myself in the kitchen with the others. It must have been evening because the table was full of food, a sight my stomach embraced with complete and utter delight.



Through the meal introductions were made and I was given a rundown of the house, with the promise of the rules of the game being explained to me in the morning. I was given the opportunity to pick a room and on the understanding of the black lines representation of Grim’s room I pick the room closest to that, which just so happened to be across the hallway from his, and as such the black and purple lines became unanimous with one another.



The rest of the night was spent around one of the fireplaces where I was to explain my escape from my house and my journey to the house as a result. There had been laughter at Grim for not differentiating me from the rest of junk in my cupboard and that to make matters worse he had been standing above me for the entire trip back to the house as well. I don’t remember much after that as I found sleep getting the better of me. When I awoke in the morning I was in my new room with a selection of all the female clothes in the house laying before me. Grim always denied doing it but I know it was him.



Chapter 3: Specs and her eyes in the skies



So on review of my last chapter the ever so incompetent Tattsman has told me to tone down the affection that I have for Grim as much as possible. But how can I help it if the silly fool can’t understand what Grim meant to me. I mean really the only thing that that idiot knows is his stupid tattoo equipment and still then he is not that good. I mean here is an example of his incompetence.



It was my second day in the house and the boys had the day off so, like they normally do, they proceeded to entertain themselves with the loot that they had found the day before, dad’s cameras. I had proceeded to make myself breakfast and sat down to watch them, and by them I definitely do not mean just Grim, as they tittered and toyed with the electrical devices. Grim and Sariel had a pile of cameras in front of each of themselves as they connected cords to monitors in the hopes of gaining visuals through the lens. Tattsman on the other hand was sorting through the whole collection distributing them into the piles in front of the boys after much scrutiny.



“What is Tattsman doing?” I asked Grim when curiosity had gained the better of me. “He’s separating the cameras that we are going to use for inside and outside,” Grim responded his concentration a bit detached from the camera he was abusing. “And which pile is which?” I said looking at the inconsistencies in both piles. “Well Sariel’s got the indoor ones..” “Sup,” Sariel said with his head down and two fingers in the air as if Grim had been asking him a question. “And I have the outdoor ones,” Grim continued now finishing his sentence after Sariel’s interruption.



Laughter erupted from within me as I could restrain myself no longer at the boys inability to distinguish between the different types of camera’s let alone figure out which ones were wireless and which ones needed to be hardwired. “What’s she laughing at?” a dumb-stricken Tattsman had asked to the other two both of which responded with shrugs.



It took five minutes to regain myself before I could talk again. “Well for one thing Tattsman has given Sariel more outdoor cameras then indoor ones and has given you, Grim, hardly any wireless ones. I mean does he honestly expect us to hardwire all the outdoor cameras?” I had said to Grim with the laughter still very much in my voice. With a polite laugh he responded, “So you know a bit about this stuff then do ya?”



“Well they are my dads, so had to know a bit about them if I was going to have any bit of a life,” I responded much to my delight of the continuance of the conversation. “Reckon you could give us a hand then?” he said handing me the camera he had been working on since I sat down. “On one condition,” I had said more to the camera then to him. “What’s that?” Sariel said now trying to join in the conversation. “We go out to dinner. Just Grim and I,” I had said much to the laughter of Sariel and Tattsman as  Grim just shook his head. “Where you going to go?” Sariel had continued as he struggled to free the words from his laughter. “I don’t know out,” I said much to my annoyance. “Lady, in case you haven’t noticed there is kind of a zombie invasion out there, I don’t think out is an option,” Tattsman said smugly as he to was victorious over his bought of laughter.



“Never mind then. Forget I said anything,” I said as my level of annoyance rose and passed it’s threshold. “No, no. Dinner it is. Did you want a long stroll on the beach as well,” Sariel commented as him and Tattsman burst out laughing. “Wait, wait, wait... Did you want a candle lit dinner where a zombie waiter and a zombie chef cater to you every need? Good day sir, would you like your steak medium or undead,” Sariel continued as he imitated the zombie waiter as the laughter between the two of them rose. “And did you want your infection before or after dinner?” he managed to slip out again from his laughter.  “Did you want Flies with that?” the imitation now coming from Tattsman much to Sariels laughter.



This continued for a few minutes until the boys settled down some. “You two done?” Grim asked to the two of them as the chuckling died to a minimum. “Hang on,” Sariel said his face down and a finger in the air. He takes a deep breathe in and releases it. “Okay we’re done,” he finishes. “You okay?” Grim now says to a pouting me. “I’m fine,” I respond over a very extended bottom lip.



“Can you tell us about that camera then so we can make this place a little safer,” Grim had now continued as if the other two had left the room. “Well this is a 2.8mm lens’d, 480 TVL color camera with inbuilt IR lighting. SO, it would be working off a 2 Lux assumption unless it’s night then it’d be on a 0 Lux assumption. And on top of that it’s wireless,” I said as there jaws dropped in confusion.



“Did you get any of that?” I asked as their faces remained dazed and confused. “Yea... No,” Tattsman said shaking his head. “It films in color?” Sariel asked inquisitively. “It does,” I reassured him as my gaze fell onto Grim. “It’s wireless?” he responded. “And that means?” I asked encouraging him to continue on. “It can go outside?” he continued awaiting the results of his assumption. “Indeed it can,” I said much to his relief.



“Okay so if I am going to do this I am going to need you guys to install them,” I said, stopping only short after seeing their faces. “I am going to need you to screw them in the wall,” I said much to their relief. “Now I figure we use as many, if not all, the wireless cameras and that way we don’t have to set up a RG59 coax throughout the house,” I finished triumphantly at my choice in the matter. “Please don’t..” Sariel said softly. “Please don’t what?” I said his words catching me off guard. “Please don’t make us set up the RG what ever it is,” he said pleading with me.



It was my turn to laugh now. “Okay then you guys ready to do what I tell you,” I said much the delight on their faces. “Yes mame!” they proceeded to say one after the other. We spent the rest of the day setting up what was to be our surveillance feed for the house. We had placed at least one camera in each room as well as seven out door cameras, two watching the waters edge and five placed conveniently down the road leading up to the house.



I took control of a small study and proceeded to line it with plasma’s and monitors that would show the live feed. I remember adding the final touches to ‘the hub’, a name I had thought appropriate for the surveillance room, when Grim walked in with two plates with sandwiches on them. “It’s not a fancy dinner but at least it is something,” he said as he handed me one of the plates.



“You did well today Specs,” he continued. “Specs?” I had asked curious as to his choice of name calling seeing as though I did not wear glasses. “Yeah Specs. The boys and I were talking and we thought that it’s about time we gave you a name,” he said smiling as he dove into the sandwiches on his plate. “But none of you even asked my name in the first place,” I had protested. “That’s because once you are on this side of the wall you are no longer you’re old self, you become someone new. Hence Specs,” he said all the while smiling. “Specs? I guess I could get used to it,” I said toying with the name in my thoughts. “Alright well I am off to bed,” he said as he made his way back into the corridor. “It’s Eve by the way,” I had yelled after him. “What is?” he had responding looking back from down the hallway. “My old name. It’s Eve,” I said smiling at him from the doorway to ‘the hub’. “Night Specs,” he said as he turned and disappeared down the hallway and into the darkness.



Chapter 4: A less creative battle



Grim had carried the creation with him since both Tattsman and I could remember. He would spend most of his time cleaning and sharpening its blade, it was never truly on the wall as a result. It was the day of the security surveillance test that tore the two apart. We had acquired high powered spotlights and with the help of high powered speakers and heavy metal music we were able to gain anythings attention.



Zombies approached in hordes, a field day in the eyes of Grim whom insisted on the previous nights test. Grim had taken a fancy into jumping off the roof with the creation in hand to save him time. On this day he jumped from the roof as usual, however this time the blade hit the driveway with a spark, the resulting blow ricocheted up the blade and with a snap separated it from its pole as it sent the blade scurrying across the tiled pavers into the bushes on the far side.



Not a tear was shed by Grim; in fact he just lay the pole down as he stood upright and began to climb the wall back onto the roof. “Where’s the creation?” Tattsman had said as he lay in the hide with the rifle in hand. “Broke,” he replied calmly as he made his way into the War Room. I sprinted after him in hopes of consoling him, however he was unfazed. He just approached the wall and tested a few weapons. Two battle axes were chosen as he made his way back to the roof. By the time he jumped back down to the driveway Sariel was halfway out the gate.



“What’s with the axes?” he said as he in turn noticed the absence of the other half of Grim. “Change, you don’t approve?” Grim said without a mention of what had come of the creation. “Well put some tassels on them and I think they will suit you just fine,” ha said as he laughed clutching a machete in the one hand all the while adjusting the sawed off shotgun on his waist. “Well I would love to stay and talk about your many feminine hygiene issues; however I got some killing to do so if you don’t mind,” Grim responded as he walked towards the oncoming horde his right arm cocked with axe in hand.



The axe sailed through the air as it left Grims hand, only to meet one of the vermin between the eyes. “A tomahawk to the head, that’s a first, and at least 25 points," Grim yelled all the while sprinting up to the large beast and attempted to pull the axe from the corpse. "Bullshit I have axed a ton of them in the head," Sariel yelled from the gate. "Ya but have you ever thrown it into their heads from a distance?" "No," Sariel responded to Grims question. "Then its 25 points," Grim stated as a crack was heard from the beast as he removed the axe only to find the head to still be attached to the blade. Turning to the on coming horde, Grim proceeded to flick the axe sending the head sailing into the crowd, only to crack an elderly ladies head in two. "Double points!" Grim yelled ecstatically as the new victim fell to the ground and we all looked in disbelief.



Sariel sprinted after him as Tattsman began to fire shots into the crowd. The usual swift and graceful Grim now went berserk on the horde sending limbs and portions of flesh in all directions. Once the commotion ended it was difficult to find a single corpse intact. Of coarse those that were intact were deemed to be killed by either Sariel or Tattsman, depending on whether or not there was a single bullet wound to the head or not. Grim claimed 42 (a statistic that relied on the cameras to keep a tally), Tattsman’s bullets had claimed 21 and Sariel was able to get 14.



On returning back to the house, Grim proceeded to lock himself in the garage where he stayed for 3 days straight as many a sound were heard from within. By this time we had cleared the street with a high powered pressure hose and, with all the home made pipe bombs being exploded on the first invasion of the original horde, we were able to bring an old ute to the street and collect the many a body limbs that had gathered.



On the third day Grim just entered the house as if he had been there the entire time. A beer in hand and he proceeded to make his way up to the war room, only stopping at the entrance door to pick up the newly repaired creation. We had been eating lunch at the time and whilst our eyes followed him into the fridge, follow the bottle cap spin like a top on the counter as he took his first sip of the beer and continued to follow him to the entrance hall; it was only once we saw ‘the creation’ that our bodies sprung to life and we proceeded to follow him. By the time I had gotten into the war room he was hanging the creation up in the centre of the feature wall, it’s name graffitied in black words behind it. A smirk spread across his face as he tapped the blade and proceeded to walk away from it and out to the hide.



We sat dazed in the centre of the war room staring at each other in hopes that one of us would have a clue as to what was going on. “Fuck it. I’m asking him,” Sariel had said as he made his way out to the hide to join Grim. Two seconds later and he returned to the room. “He’s not there,” Sariel had said with much confusion. “Oh, please tell me he is not in the garage again. We haven't been on a raid for a wile now and we need some supplies,” Tattsman had said. It was on that note that we decided to drag him out of the garage if need be.



By the time we got to the garage the door was open and sound effects were only to audible from the driveway. I peaked my head around the corner to find Grim in the centre of the garage, weapons in hand and multiple punching bags spread around the room, horribly drawn stick figures of zombies drawn on each one. I found myself giggling as he made sound effects to each hit and kill according to the pleas of his supposed victims, his voice mimicking theirs in a terrible means all the while.



Sariel must have walked in via the house entrance because in an instant a wooden police baton was flung from grims hand as it found it’s target in the centre of Sariels forehead. “Ow! What the fuck Grim!” he said from his newly found position on the floor. “Sorry caught up in the moment,” Grim had responded as he retrieved the wooden baton from the floor next to Sariel. “So what do you think,” he continued. “Painful, why?” Sariel had responded as he regained his original position in the room.



“Because I am thinking of using these now,” Grim said ecstatically as he abused a nearby punching bag with the two police batons in hand. “Um, they are not exactly sharp. I mean what are you going to do knock the zombies out, because that is not going to help. They don’t exactly stop because of a small tap to the head,” Sariel said skeptically as he took up a position on a couch in the corner of the room.



Giving the punching bag a moment to regain itself Grim responded, “I know and thats why I have made some adjustments to them.” He now made his way to a small working bench to the right hand side of the room. “I call them ‘Wrath’ and ‘Vengeance’,” he said with much delight as he showed off his new inventions. He lifted a new pair of steel clad police batons, small double edged blades extending from their tips. 



“Is that it?” Sariel said from the couch as he grim walked over to him. “Patience young douche bag, because this is the best part,” Grim said smirkingly with a twinkle in his eye. Tapping the two batons together a small click was heard and with it two small pick axe blades extended from the batons and clicked into place. “I had to pull apart four switch blades to figure out how to do that,” Grim said smiling as he saw Sariel admiring his new creations.



“Oh hey you found sai’s and put them on tonfa’s?” Tattsman said as he now walked into the room. “Shut up Tattsman you have no idea what you are talking about,” Grim said ignoring Tattsman’s input. “No that’s what they are. I used to..” “Tattsman seriously, okay.. Really.. ‘Wrath’ and ‘Vengeance’ not ‘Sigh’ and ‘Boredom’,” Grim said cutting Tattsman off mid sentence all the while waving his two new inventions in the air as he mentioned them. And like that Grim was back and ‘Vengeance’ and ‘Wrath’ became his new companions, although I still caught him every now and then giving ‘the creation’ it’s time off the wall.





Chapter 5: Tight ass tuesday & Karma ‘the untold zombie story’



Being stuck in front of LCD screens watching surveillance footage for majority of the day may sound like a bore but I did find some fun in the horrors I saw. Thinking back now it was pretty fucked up actually. I mean had there been no zombies and we were still doing what we were doing, we would have been consider to be up there among the biggest serial killers in history. We were a four person army bringing a genocide to the undead and we were loving every moment of it. Think about it every serial killer has a type of person they target, ours were undead. A method of kill, decapitation. A way of removing the body or hiding the evidence, burning of the corpses if they were far away enough from the house (we burnt one near the house once and the ungodly stench of rotting burnt flesh lingered for four weeks until a hurricane saved us from the constant need of aerosols). Don’t ask me why we burnt the bodies though, Grim and Sariel had said something about burning the disease from the corpse, but I just reckon they were pyromaniacs and just loved fires.



Mind you none of these thoughts plagued my mind back then in fact life was like an endless series of horror/ zombie flicks and we were just big fans. We started gathering video tapes, video camera’s and surveillance tapes from everywhere after Sariel surprised us with the introduction of his version of tight ass tuesdays. His idea was simple, we would all get dressed up in the finest clothes we could find, the boys in suits and thongs, and myself in the finest gowns Mrs Bell had to offer. We would then go out to the neighbors lawn were a projector was set up casting out onto the side of the opposing building were we would watch a movie. The idea was to get out the house and keep our sanity but most importantly it became a night of fun where whoever was in charge for the evening had complete freedom over what ever they wanted to show. As such certain segments came about before the feature film was shown. Segments like spot the zombie, whats behind the door, whatever happened to Mr or Mrs Smith, top 10 civilian or zombie kills of the week and our favorite the top 5 idiots of the week.



Spot the zombie was a freeze frame shot from a video where the rest of the group had to guess where the zombie  is and how many were there. What happened to Mr or Mrs Smith was a sort of where are they now video segment where we would show someones independent plea on a video camera for help, and then take guesses of what happened to them, Grim insisted on this one to show us that we are still human and that this could happen to any of us if we are not careful, it was also a sort of tribute to those people in a way. I say our favourite was the top 5 idiots of the week would generally show zombie suicides, tough guys using movie lines in a failed manner or one us doing something retarded on camera, generally a drunken message or conversation. The most well known idiot came to be a story and a video that we stumbled upon a house raid. The story was nicknamed ‘Karma the untold zombie story” and came to be one of our favorites.



                                                 --------



To whomever reads this. This is my untold zombie story.



So there I am running for my life trying to keep myself alive and doing quite well might I add. Fourteen kills and all with blunt instruments and no firearms, due to lack of choice more so then a show of testosterone. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a gun in the midst of a zombie apocalypse? Nearly impossible and thats why it is always ex-military, military or American’s that survive because they start out with that unique advantage of having the ability to shoot and kill from a distance, whether they shoot accurately or not is another question. All that aside what is the one thing one can look forward to during a zombie invasion, well for me it was finding all my ex’s and having a valid reason to decapitate them. So needless to say their houses where some of the first I stopped at. But what you don’t expect is for them to be alive and kicking, and worse still they are with the new boyfriend as well and now your act for revenge becomes a pseudo act of heroics. Shit.



My name is Drew and I write this to you from my death bed, well at least I can say that for the vast majority of the rest of the world as well. Why am I dying? ‘Ignorance’ to put it in a single word. Yes ladies and gentlemen this is what happens when you try to kill your ex-misses new boyfriend during a zombie invasion, all with a twisted sense of reclaiming her as yours in hopes of repopulating the earth with her. Yep, ignorance. Now why on earth would i do something like that? Well the guy was a douche, and simple minded to. I mean I could tell him to run into a building and the idiot would run in bare handed. It was so easy, but how he made it out each time I don’t know but he always had that stunned look on his face stating, “did you know there are zombies in there?” Um, no shit sherlock it’s called an invasion for a reason. I swear the only thing more dim witted than him were the zombies themselves.Then there’s Sheila the goddess that unknowingly posses my heart and was the most recent destroyer of it to. Sheila broke up with me due to her finding of Jim, the dimwitted shit for brains that I have spoken of previously.



When I entered Sheila’s place I found the two huddled in a corner in the kitchen with Sheila’s now zombie-stricken mother leaning over the kitchen counter in hopes of dinner. So what did I do? Well I did what anyone else would do, I took a seat on the coach and waited for Sheila’s mother to finish her meal. It was only when Sheila spotted me that I had  to do otherwise. I mean ya sure I tried to fake being a zombie, but there is not much believability to it when I am sitting on a couch legs crossed and arms behind my head, with a shovel at my side. So with a single swing I ‘rescued’ the two of them from the torments of  Sheila’s zombified mother. Mistake number one in my book, but I couldn’t help it she stood there with that blank look on her face as if to say, “Well? Anytime now, Mr Hero.” I was so tempted to just say, “Na you’ll be alright,” but for some reason I just couldn’t.



Then came the whole we need a place to stay business. I swear there is nothing like feeling like a third wheel when she guilt trips you into protecting the two of them, and so I stayed overnight at hers that first night. Yep ‘we survived’ sex is great, if your apart of it. Hearing it from the other side of a wall, not so great. At one point I felt like running in there and screaming ‘Zombies’ as I decapitated them in one swift motion, or better yet capture a zombie from outside and throw it in their room. I mean what could two naked people do against a zombie, nothing thats what, Jim is not that smart, or heroic for that matter. Nope instead I cast out my thoughts and placed the earphones in as I tried to ignore the constant thud against my wall. Mistake number two.



For three weeks they followed me day in and day out, constantly flirting with one another behind my back as I led the way. I sent Jim into suicide missions everyday only to find him accomplish them, the bastard just would not die. That is until I ‘accidentally’ locked him in a bathroom with two zombies and no weapons, oops. Well to his credit he did kill them both, but Jim was no better off. Sheila came rushing from the car when I dragged him out, blood gushing from his neck he still managed to keep his dimwittedness. “I tried to open the door but I think it was a pull and I think I was pushing, silly me,” he had managed to quack out much to my amusement. Taking my role of the hero I stepped forward to put Jim out of his misery with a machete, only to find Sheila pleading me to let her do it at Jim’s request. A fitting farewell with Sheila expressing her love to him and followed by a kiss of death. A decree of her never loving another and one of her celibacy and his head went on an independent voyage down the road. Mistake number three, believing Sheila would get over Jim.



It was our return to the house that met my demise. I was walking down the stairs when Sheila’s dad, of whom we had thought to have left and run for the hills, took a bite of my achilles heal from underneath the stairs. Sheila doesn’t know and as such I shall achieve my dying wish. I shall stay in the lounge until I turn and then after my death my zombie self will finish what my human self could not and Sheila will finally meet her end. I have placed a video camera to document these moments in hopes that someone will see my final hours. So as I finish this I wish to say that in life I lived but in death I have completed my goals.



Yours Truly



Drew

                                                           --------



The video that was found with this note showed Drew’s final hours as he lay sleeping on the couch. Little did he know that Sheila had come in seek of his company only to find and read this note by his side. Mistake number four was believing that Sheila was harmless. Drew was awoken before his death by Sheila attacking him with a baseball bat. She then began to liberate him of his limbs leaving his head for last. We still don’t know what happened to Sheila but Drew definitely topped our idiots of the week chart for five weeks in a row, and definitely had honorable mentions every week.



Chapter 6: Devil on a shoulder, but life is good



Ok so removing the zombies from the equation life was pretty good in the Bell’s house. Following Sariels example of getting everyone out of the confines of the house, the boys established a basketball court on the roundabout outside the house with the spray painted circle declaring centre court. A vegetable patch became mine and Grim’s little project, after a little bout of squirts swept through the group and it was decided that we needed a fresher diet then frozen and canned foods. That aside we were still fans of our fast foods so the boys found a towable industrial freezer and began setting up what was going to be our very own tribute to the kernel, Mccy’Ds and the king of the burgers himself. I say was as every attempt to liberate a working deep fryer, and keep it in that condition, failed miserably to the point that a few explosions were involved; so we had to settle with the tiny home versions instead which didn’t bother me but the boys weren’t as pleased with it after failing to establish their vision.



I guess our only really problems should have been water and electricity, but the Bells were connected up with bore water and as for electricity, well let’s just say if Mr and Mrs Bell were still alive and received their electric bill they would be pissed. Sariel put it simply as if the street lights are still going then we might as well abuse it, seeing as though we were probably the only ones using it anyway. Our confidence had skyrocketed with our kill counts and as such we felt no need to hide our existence at night in fact it became fun to advertise it. A late night explosion would be followed by a celebrity round of shots. Further more a vast majority of three surrounding suburbs now declared green smiles on their doors so if a zombie did find its way to our street then they were worthy of a shot to celebrate their efforts.



Shopping centre raids became more and more common with any excuse encouraging the boys into one, but this was mainly due to the lack of challenge that the house raids bought. Dwindling zombie numbers required the boys to travel further for points and still then they were not guaranteed many. This worked to Sariel’s advantage. You see Sariel had taken up the use of long distance weapons especially bows and arrows, he had become accurate as well hitting a zombie in the head from up to 90 meters away. This naturally pissed Grim off as Sariel’s arrows could fly faster then he could run, so most of the times the kills went to Sariel, furthermore each arrow was counted as a new weapon but Grim argued it down so that each kill was only given 2 points as apposed to the 6 points Sariel said he deserved.



Constantly rechecking the same streets for a single zombie started to annoy the boys to much. Tattsman actually used his brain for once and came up with a decent idea for once.  He suggested the boys block the roads off using cars and furniture as blockades, but being in a developing town, Grim and Sariel found it easier just to steal fences from construction sites and use them instead, and so the safe zones were set up. At first forty-five houses, two convenience stores, three pubs, seven restaurants, twelve shops and two petrol stations made up the safe zone, but this grew each week.



Decorating the mesh covered fencing was fun to, our obvious warnings and threats further encouraged the idea of a safe zone with taunts like, “Please keep your limbs to yourself at all times,”  “On departure please take all limbs with you,” “Zombies welcome from 9 - 5,” and our favourite “10 points to the bastard that can bite me in the ass first.” This created much amusement for us all not to mention when the gates did go up the zombies would usually gather at the fences making the kills easier for the boys in that they only ever had to check the gates.



Life became easier from that point on in that we were able to walk around with a little less care then we had become accustomed to since the dead escaped their graves, that is except for me. Grim insisted that someone still accompany me when I leave the house just in case, which truth be told didn’t bother me as I would make sure that if I left the house it was only with Grim and so I private little dates started, even if Grim didn’t see them as dates.



Grim was still playing hard to get at this point, still not paying any extra attention to me even though I knew he enjoyed my company, in fact he was my most common visitor in ‘the hub’. If I missed a meal I could always expect him to pop in with a plate of something. He would say it was because he was the chef and therefore could not clean up until everyone had eaten but I knew otherwise. He had weakened over the months and didn’t shy from my playful flirting as much and on the odd occasion, especially on tuesday nights if we were watching a horror film, I would find myself holding his hand or cowering on his shoulder. As I said life was good.











BOOK 3 of this collection is still in progress but should be finished soon.....