This is chapter 1 of my first book that i am writing just looking for some feedback on it. |
Chapter 1 The Ascension Ritual Keira woke with a start as the morning sun began to rise in the east. The light of the newly risen sun just glinting off of her bluish dark black hair, her only elfish feature and the only sign of her dual heritage. Her hair was a feature that was very prominent in her and that she wore with a kind of pride. Keira Siverlight was for all intents and purposes human to most of the civilized world, if they ever had contact with the outside she was human but those occasions were very rare. In the village in which she resided they were isolated so there she could be herself, Keira Esona Siverlight the Half-elf, Daughter of Two Worlds. “What kind of a dream was that?” she mused to herself as she was wide-awake because of the nightmare she had that night. 'But was it a nightmare' she thought to herself, trying to keep from waking her parents in the next room. She vividly remembered the dream a large dark figure looming over a small cowering girl laughing with its crooked smile and scaly lips. The horned figure simply laughed as if the small girl that sat before him was helpless to save herself. Then out of nowhere the figure grabbed for the child and that was all that she could remember. Keira decided that it was just a dream and thought on the dream no longer. 'Why should I?' she thought. 'I'm going though the ascension today; I'm an adult, after today. Why would I dwell on such childish matters?' "Nervous" said a voice in the corner. With that she threw her eyes in the direction of the sound and found the welcoming face of her father to greet her. "No, just a bad dream" she replied. "That could a sign that we need to postpone." her father stated "NO, I AM NO…" she yelled so loud she thought the whole village would have heard her. "Shhhh!" her father warned. Her father had become increasingly worried about her readiness for the ascension ritual for many had tried and failed in this ritual. She calmed herself down to a whisper and began again, "I am not going to postpone because of silly dream." "But you need to be one body and mind if you are to go though this ceremony. People have died trying to do this, some in the village still carry scars from the ascension." For he knew that to fail the test was not only to die and wander the world as a lich but it was to have your soul forever damned and lost to the very depths of the ash. "I know dad, but your forgetting one thing, NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE VILLAGE HAS EVER POSTPONED." she started in to yell again. "I know I just want you to be prepared" he assured her. For the ascension is, in the village in which she and her family reside, the coming of age ritual and all children in the village must go though the ascension when they are 16 years of age. For in the village everyone was a practitioner of the art of Soul Magic, or as known to the rest of the world they are Warlocks, and because of that exiled as enemies of the state. And, the ascension was a key part of the craft that they wield for if you do not know your own soul how could you manipulate others. "Dad if you could give me some privacy? I need to get ready,” she asked with a commanding tone. "Very well but remember the things I taught you the last few months." her father reminded her. As if she needed reminding her father had been running her though drill after drill. Her days were filled of memorization of true names of objects, and animals, and the proper application of the names, and the incantations to use them and proper pronunciation of the words. This was on top of her normal chores and schoolwork that was taxing enough on her mind. How she found time to sleep was beyond her let alone time for her friends, which had some of the same treatment from their parents. Many of the boys of the village had been attempting visits as well, but she being only one of four girls in the village didn't make her feel like they really liked her but more like she was the last one in the village that was free. For her four friends, three of them were the other girls and her brother, Zane Siverlight, who was already married to one of her friends already, and the other two already being courted on by several suitors, she was the only girl left in the village that was single. She never thought of herself as beautiful except for her hair; the hair of her mother Sophita, a high elf of ashen city exiled for being a warlock centuries ago. She found solace in a human that had quite an affinity for the craft as well. He was the one who led her to the village and made her feel like she had a family. Soon they married and had Keira's brother, Zane, and then a year later she was born. Both of them are born of two worlds one human, one elf but never part of either shunned from normal society much like the warlocks of the village they would have found no comfort in the empire. ‘Perhaps it is better this way' Keira had thought to herself many times with a sort of hollow happiness, 'to not be part of the empire. We would be scorned and spat on in the cities, we have a good life here.' As her father left the room and shut the door behind him, he said to Keira, “We’ll see you at the ceremony.” As the door shut she pulled off her nighty and put on her undergarments then the armor that her father had made for her. When she was off at school or doing chores he was checking, enhancing, and binding the leather with protective wards that would not conflict with the ritual itself but add more protection than that of normal leather armor. The armor itself consisted of nothing more than normal upper body coverage and a left shoulder-pad with long sleeve on the same arm for added protection on her shield arm. The sword arm was merely a short shoulder covering so she would have full movement of the arm in combat. Every person entering the ritual is given a dagger, a shield, and a crossbow that cannot be altered in anyway; the family must provide the body protection. So her father had spared no expense on the armor that he provided her. He had the plans for her armor two years prier to her fourteenth birthday so it was no surprise to her that the armor fit like a second skin on her body padded but it contoured to her shape giving her all the flexibility that she had without the armor. It seemed somewhat familiar to her as if she had seen the design before. She then recalled when she had seen the armor before, her brother had almost the same armor as her but his was built without the extra padding on the left arm for he didn’t use a shield. She then remembered the large gash in the left arm that he had when he emerged from the cave soul-stone in hand. Perhaps that is why her father was so nervous about her ritual she inferred. Perhaps he merely did not want two scared and battle worn children or worse he was more concerned because he believed her less capable than her brother. She looked at her image in the looking glass as her mind began to drift. Marvelling at the image before her she looked like a warrior about to go in to a great battle. She remembered the way Zane looked in his armor. His shape was tall and slender like their mother he resembled an elf in almost every way except for his hair and eyes, which were human, most of his features where elfish. His hair and eyes was that of their father blonde hair and hazel eyes. She however did not resemble her mother and instead she honored her father’s side of the family. She was of average height and weight and had hazel eyes; she had her father’s strong brow and a slender face with high cheekbones. She soon continued with putting on her leggings and her blue cloak that bore the symbol of the village a raven birched on a cliff of glass. She then put on the equipment she was given for the ritual and bag that her mother gave her. When she was done she stepped out her door and down the stair to the landing and turned in to the kitchen. It was empty, she then suddenly realized what time it was and rushed out the door. "I'M LATE!" she screamed in her head, 'Late for my own ceremony, how I'm going to explain this one.' She arrived at the cave where the ritual took place just as most of the village was getting there. So she was a little relived that they weren't all just waiting for her to get there. There in the center of the clearing that stood before the entrance to the cave was the village chieftain. "Good Morning Keira. Did you sleep well?" The chief greeted her in his booming voice. "Good" She lied, the nightmare had her tossing and turning all night. "Well good you’re going to need it, if you’re going to make though" the chief then broke in to a loud laugh trying to lighten the mood. "I would just like to do this and move on if you don't mind" she told the chieftain truthfully. "Don't worry your going to do fine, from what I’ve heard, your father's done a great job preparing you for this so you should do fine, and with minimal amount of damage to your body..." he assured her, "but, no one has ever come out of this with out a scar or two, except your father of course." The power of her father was never a great secret around the village; her father was one of the most powerful warlocks in history of the village. Her father was one of the heads of the village counsel and could have easily been chieftain of the village but he had declined the offer on more than one occasion. The title of chieftain is passed in their village every ten years and every term her father's name has been in the running for the title of chieftain. Chief Harwin Siverlight would be her father's name if he had accepted it years ago, and he would be the one performing the ritual, not the chieftain. Her father had stated to her and her family many times that the reason he did not want to be chief is because his current duties allowed him to be closer to his family, but Keira had never fully believed that she sensed a deeper reasoning behind it. It was not her place to question his motives so she just accepted his excuse and moved on. Soon the whole village had arrived and the chief began the ritual. He motioned Keira to the spot where countless others had stood before her. She stood on a platform made of the trunk of a long dead great elm tree that sat directly in front of the cave, carved in to it were symbols and spells to aid in the attraction of the soul of a warlock. For part of the ritual of ascension was finding your soul in the labyrinth inside the cave. The chief began to weave the spell he would use to complete his part of the ritual. The faces of the crowd ever watchful and listening to his every word as he spoke the ancient language handed to us by the gods. As he spoke she felt as if the energy was being drained out of her body but she didn't feel like it was draining her of strength. Soon the chieftain was done and he turned to the throng of people and announced that the spell was done. “MY PEOPLE,” the Chieftain bellowed, “The ascension of Keira Siverlight, A Daughter of Two Worlds has begun, it is now in the hands of fate that she become one of the Warlocks of Zarcus and take her place as a adult of the community.” ‘A warlock of Zarcus’ She thought with a kind of sarcastic laugh. Zarcus the patron god of the heavens and the stars, as well as the namesake of the village.’ A way to try to atone for the sins of our craft, is to serve the god that was the object of the war, that was waged so long ago.’ She had heard the speech so many times she could recite the whole of it by heart. The chieftain continued with the speech for the ceremony of the speech, which must be recited to ensure that the gods are appeased. “…the sins of our craft is to serve the god that was the object of the war that…” There it was the line she drew so much meaning from. “To serve”, She said to herself, ‘In order to live without fear of the underneath or the hate of the gods, and maybe someday rejoin the empire as productive citizens.’ She thought with a flicker of hope in her heart. The Chieftain continued on for several hours about the ritual and its symbolic meanings and worth to the village and how it would affect us all if I did not come back from the cave unharmed. Most of the speech was mostly jabbering and gibberish or restatements of previous parts of the speech. But, this time had allowed her time to think of what might be awaiting her inside the cave after all it was different for every person. The cave was never too hard it was a test but, always passable if you didn’t make one too many mistakes. “…And so with a heavy heart and much hope we must send the young Keira Siverlight in to the Great Test of the Cave.’” The Chief turned to face her, “Keira are you ready to enter?” Keira paused for a second and then replied, “Yes, I am ready.” In truth she was unsure of herself after all her father wouldn’t be worked up over nothing and her brother wouldn’t have come forth with such wounds if it was easy. As she faced the mouth of the cave she pondered to herself, ‘This could be my grave I could enter and never return.’ Suddenly the resolve she had build over the last year had been shattered, fear and terror griped her, as she stood there motionless. Her father seemingly feeling all this happening within her; walked up behind her and whispered, “Don’t worry we all believe in you, and if you ever feel unsure of yourself remember always trust in your heart it will know the right path. Your ready my child.” With that all her doubt and fear just vanished as if it never were and her resolve returned. She stepped forth to the mouth of the cave and recited the spell of entry. The cave was protected by magic that prevented anyone from entering the cave but more importantly it keeps anything from exiting the cave. The spell allows the caster to pass though the barrier in to cave and allows them to pass back though the gate once they complete the ritual. She felt the spell take affect as she finished the last word of the ancient language, and she passed though the barrier to the cave. It was dark inside the cave and her elfin eyes soon adjusted to the light. She may not look it to the rest of the world but she still had all the benefits of an elfin heritage and that included improved night vision. At least enough to find the lantern in her bag, she wasn’t so vain that she would go without light within the cave. As soon as she had even though about the lantern a large light came from the top of cave. She looked up at the light a large torch had lit it self at the top of the cave. ‘Of course it’s a magic cave it’s going to recognize that I have a lantern, prepared for the journey, and it rewarded me for being prepared,’ She mused to herself, ‘or it could be that it just lights for everyone.’ She rolled her eyes thinking of which it could be. Either way she decided that she wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. She continued to explore the front entrance to the cave, the cave was tall and wide, the shape of the room it seemed was a semi-circle that radiated out from the mouth of the cave on, the far side of the room was a large hewn stone door. The Gate of Yeacon, on the large double doors were wards to keep the gate shut, and depictions of the demon lord of the ash, Yeacon, his name was rarely mentioned in common conversations because of the terrible fear that is associated with the name. Even as Keira merely looked upon the door a chill rolled down her spine at the sight of the depiction of the demon lord. She waited for the fear of the ashen god to subside and she moved to investigate the gate further. She found that there was a spell she recognized on the stone it was the entry spell she had used to enter the cave. She stood up strait, centered herself and began to recite the entry spell again. As she finished she felt the power of the spell working its magic and a large blue flash of light unsealed the doors. The doors then pushed open freely and Keira stepped into the great expanse that lay before her. |