Terry is sitting in class one day and hears a voice in his head. A suicidal voice. |
Every day at school was the same: dull, boring and a waste of seven hours of my day. I spent most of my classes looking out a window, half paying attention and keeping my grades decent enough so no one questioned me or expected more out of me. Today was like every other day. Well, at least it started out that way. I was sitting in my usual chair by the window at the front of the class. A thought crossed my mind and I wasn't even exactly sure why I did think it, 'Fuck'. It sounded desperate, but it didn't make sense. It didn't quite go with what I had been doing, listening to the teacher read from Hamlet which had my attention for the moment. My confusion faded as I refocused on the words my teacher read. 'I just want it all to go away. Everything.' What? I blinked a few times, confused. Where was that coming from? I honestly didn't think or feel that way. 'Maybe I could disappear'. I moved in my chair slightly, suddenly uncomfortable. 'No one would even notice I'm gone'. I casually looked around the class; everyone was looking straight ahead at the teacher. 'No one would even care'. This was starting to bother me. I kept looking around the room, but nothing was out of the ordinary. 'Why doesn't anyone care?' I finally completely turned around in my seat; everyone was looking at the teacher except for one person. A slender teen sat at the back looking out the window, looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. 'I hate this. I feel so alone. Why won't someone notice me??' Was I hearing his thought? He brushed his light brown hair back then let it fall back to cover his forehead. "Terry," my teacher's voice surprised me. Everyone looked at me, including the guy I was staring at. I quickly looked at my teacher, turning back around. "Is there something interesting at the back of the class?" 'Was he looking at me?' I cleared my throat. "No." I think I was hearing his thoughts. It wasn't like I was hearing them exactly, more like they were my own thoughts. I tried to pay attention the rest of class, but I kept waiting for more thoughts to pop up in my head. Nothing happened then class was over. I sat in my seat waiting for everyone to leave the room first. When everyone was almost out of the room, I left. I went outside for lunch like I usually did and spotted the guy I was staring at from class. He was walking over to a picnic table that was away from the others. Trees shaded the whole area making that table less noticeable. I ran to catch up and tapped his shoulder as he made it to the table, "Hey." He turned, surprised. His eyes widened as he looked at me. "Umm, hi." Great, now what? What was I doing? What was I supposed to say? "Uhh…." "What?" He looked a little scared. Maybe I was wrong. "Umm, how," I must have looked like an idiot. This wasn't like me. I didn't randomly walk up to people I didn't know, especially not without anything to say, "How are you?" He gave me a confused look then laughed. I didn't expect that so I just stood there awkwardly. "I'm okay," he smiled, "are YOU okay?" I chuckled, "I don't know. I think I might be losing it." He sat down, "Maybe you should sit down." I sat and laughed to myself. "Man," I took a deep breath and sighed. "Were you, umm," he wouldn't look at me, "I don't mean to sound conceited, but were you staring at me in class?" "Uhh…. I was looking not staring." "Why?" I looked away, "No reason." He started to work on math and after a few seconds of silence I figured I should introduce myself, "My name's Terry." "I know," he kept working. "Oh." Maybe I shouldn't have bugged him, "What's your name?" 'Someone wants to know MY name?' He gave me a curious look, "Trenton." He went back to work, 'Maybe he has the hots for me'. I quickly looked at him, horrified, "W-what?" He blushed. "Nothing," I quickly blurted out, heat flooded my cheeks. 'Nope, that was a stupid thought'. I gave him a suspicious look, "What?" "Uhh," I couldn't believe this, how was this possible? "Do you need help with math?" "Oh," he looked down, "yeah. My grades are slipping so I'm trying to get caught up." I'm sure they were, if he was having thought like that. I spent the rest of lunch helping him and then after that I didn't talk to him. A month went by and everything was back to normal. I quit worrying or thinking about that day I thought I heard Trenton's thoughts. But then it happened again. But this time it was different. Louder, stronger. 'It's over', the words brought tears to my eyes. I looked back at Trenton's desk. It was empty. I jumped out of my seat, fear grabbed at all corners of my mind. "Terry? Is everything alright?" My teacher stood next to me 'I'm going to do it today'. I kept staring at the empty seat. 'I'm going to kill myself'. "No, I have to….. Have to-" I ran out of the room, out of the school and into the parking lot. "Where is he?" 'Maybe if I jumped off the bridge…..it would be easier. Maybe they won't find my body and Mom will just think I ran away'. "Bridge? What bridge?" I tried to stop panicking but it was impossible to think clearly. So I started to run. I stopped running when I got on to the next street and immediately asked a woman for help, "Where's the bridge?" "The bridge? Well, there's one two blocks away on South Street, but the other one is about two miles from here by the Olive Garden." I wanted to scream! How was I supposed to know which one to go to? If I went to the one on South and he wasn't there then I would miss him or I could check both but what if I still miss him? "AHHH!" I kicked a trash can, denting the side. Some lady walked past, keeping her distance. I decided to check South Street. SO many people were there. 'Good, no one is here'. My adrenaline spiked and I took off running as fast as I could to the other bridge. "Oh my god." I don't think I can make it, but I have to. 'I'm scared. What if this isn't the right decision? Why doesn't someone stop me? I need somebody to save me.' I pushed my legs, trying to go faster. A few minutes went by, I was feeling light headed and couldn't breathe. Every breath stabbed at my lungs. "Please," I huffed out. Almost there. 'Please'. His thought pushed me harder. The Olive Garden finally came into view, relief hit me hard, but then, 'I wonder if it will hurt'. The feeling of relief left and was replaced with fear. When I finally go to the bridge, I could barely feel my legs. My hands were on my knees as I tried to get back to breathing normally. Trenton was standing on the railing of the bridge, looking down at the water. 'Okay, this is it.' "Trenton!!" I half jogged, half walked over to him. Trenton's shocked expression made me so happy. I wasn't too late. "Terry??" "Why," I took a deep breath, still trying to catch my breath, "weren't you at school?" "Umm, my, uh, math test was today. Yeah, wasn't ready for it." Trenton sat down on the rail. 'Oh my god. Someone came…how…..' He stared at me in awe. "Why aren't you in school?" "Oh, I just had a feeling I should be here is all," Was that a good enough lie? I leaned over the rail looking at the drop. There's no way he would have survived that fall. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. 'Thank you.' "You're wel-" Trenton's brows furrowed, "Uh you're" Damn it! How do I recover from that? "Welcome." There was no fixing that. "For?" "Helping you with math awhile back?" "Oh," he laughed, "Thanks, I really suck at math so I'm not sure if you helped much, but thanks for trying." "Anytime," It was kind of a funny moment. For some reason all I could think about was how I wished I ran that fast for the mile run in gym class. ***** I don't know how it happened but after that day, I ended up hanging out with Trenton a lot more. I did get my first detention for leaving school like that, a junior in high school and I was finally called into the principal's office. It got to where if I focused enough, I could hear Trenton's thoughts. I tried not to….. most of the time. Sometimes it was like he was shouting at me. I think it had something to do with how strongly he was feeling about something. The weird thing was I could only know Trenton's thoughts. Summer break came around and I stayed the night at Trenton's house for the first time. Everything was going great then…. 'I wonder if I have a chance.' I kept reading the back of the book he handed me. He wanted to know if it was something I would be interested in reading. 'What would happen if I told him how I felt about him?' I lost interest in the book and looked at him, "Interested?" About the book? Can't remember. What he was thinking, "maybe, I don't know." I think I didn't answer the right question. "Okay," he laughed, "it's just a book." Was I even attracted to guys? I guess I never really thought about it. I guess Trenton was cute for a guy, thing, nice sin, pretty blue eyes. Trenton didn't exactly turn me on, but I never gave it a thought. 'He's staring again.' I blinked, focusing back on reality. "So, what do you want to do?" 'Whatever you want,' the thought was heavy and…. Sexy? "Whatever you want," he shrugged, looking around the room awkwardly. I raised my eyebrows at him. I didn't realize he was so into me. "No, you decide." 'If I had to decide, we'd be a lot closer than we are now. I just feel so….. Hungry for your touch.' "Are you hungry?" His face was red. "No," My voice came out as a small squeak. I didn't want to hear his thoughts. It was an invasion of his privacy. We ended up watching videos and YouTube all day and talking about books. Around midnight, we were watching Family Guy, leaning up against his bed while we sat on the floor. 'I wish I was brave enough to just lean over and kiss him. Maybe he would kiss me?' I crossed my arms, feeling uncomfortable. 'Nope, it's never going to happen.' A few minutes passed and when I moved my shoulder brushed past Trenton's. This time I got to feel what he was feeling instead of hearing his thoughts. It brought goose bumps on my arms and made me shiver. It was a feeling of happiness, excitement, pleasure and love? 'Maybe I should scoot away.' So anything he thought or felt strongly, he shared it with me? I wonder what would happen if we did anything sexual? I gave it some thought and decided: go for it. "Hey," I started, "Can I…….. Hold your hand?" He looked completely caught off guard. "Sure," I laced my fingers with his and smiled to myself when I noticed how bad he was shaking. 'I'm so confused.' I didn't know if I should tell him about me being able to hear his thoughts or not. It would be better to wait. 'Oh my god, what if he kisses me?' Our eyes met, I thought about kissing him, but we both got embarrassed and went back to watching TV. 'This is so weird. I feel like when I'm around Terry I get what I most desperately need.' I cleared my throat. 'Maybe it's just meant to be.' What if things did work out between us? Would I be able to hear his thoughts still? And if I couldn't would that change things? 'God, he's sexy.' I laughed so hard out of embarrassment. My sudden outburst confused Trenton, "What?" "Nothing," I smiled, "I love being with you. Makes me feel good, you know?" He smiled, "Yeah." 'I feel the same.' We looked at each other so long it started to feel awkward. 'Kiss me.' I immediately obeyed. I guess I expected our first kiss to be gentle and sweet, but it was kind of rushed and desperate. I wasn't too surprised by that since Trenton has been aching for my kiss, but for me to act that way? Let's just say his thoughts were making me want to get to the more intimate parts. 'More.' I pulled him into a standing position then forcefully pushed him back on to his bed. I don't think he had a chance to react to being pulled off the floor. I was on top of him fast, hungry for the taste of his lips. 'It's so hot.' Even though it was a major turn on to know his thoughts, it was too overwhelming. It made it really hard to control myself. I was failing, miserably. And I don't think either one of us cared. Foreplay didn't last; we immediately jumped into the good stuff. Trying to undress each other at the same time was difficult. My pathetic attempt at undoing Trenton's jeans was a laugh. He ended up having to help me. I felt stupid at first but watching him finish undressing himself was…..worth it. 'I wish I could stop shaking, it would make things a lot easier.' As soon as he was naked, I had him back on the bed with me on top of him. 'Whoa.' I stared down at him panting, not sure what to do next. This was one of the down sides with being a virgin. 'Why did he stop?' I was thinking about going for sex, but I didn't think he had lube and I was unsure how to do it exactly. "What's wrong?" Great I was killing the mood. "Well, I just don't know what to do now." I laughed. 'Anything, you name it.' I took a deep breath, "I want to have sex, but I'm guessing you don't have any lube." "No," he sighed, 'but my parents do…' I raised my eye brows at him, "Maybe your parents would?" 'Wow, it's like he read my mind.' If only he knew, "Maybe, hold on." He left the room completely naked which shocked me until I remembered his parents weren't at home. 'Now this is what I'll think of when my parents come back. Weird.' I tried not to laugh, that's what I would be thinking about too. He came back with the lube and awkwardly handed it to me. "Okay, lay back down." I was trying to act like I knew what I was doing. Not sure if it was working…. I put some lube on my finger and pushed against his hole. I was afraid of hurting him and it wasn't going in, "Relax, I think you're too tight." "Okay," I finally got in and just tried to finger him for a little bit so he could get used to it. 'This is going to hurt.' I decided to finger him a little longer, but after awhile I couldn't take it anymore. "Are you ready? I don't think I can wait much longer." I laughed a little, feeling embarrassed after saying that. 'No,' that sucks, "Yeah," why wouldn't he just tell me he wasn't ready? 'But I can handle it. I want you to….' I made sure to be extra careful when I was first putting it in. He kept his eyes closed and I wouldn't have been able to tell if I was hurting him but his thoughts were, 'Oh my god… ow, ow, ow…Breath, just breath.' The funny thing was he wasn't breathing, he was holding his breath. I could tell. Once I was in I asked, "Are you okay?" "Mhmm," he looked like he was really concentrating on staying relaxed. I was going to stop but…. 'I'm so happy.' My stomach got a warm fluttery feeling and I smiled down at him. I began to move in and out of him, going slow at first then picking up my pace. He would moan when I thrust back in which pushed me closer to my peak. I was really enjoying watching his face, his mouth hung slightly open and his brows knit together. My hands gripped his thighs as I pushed his knees to his chest so I could get a better view of my member sliding in and out of his tight hole. 'Wow, he looks like he's enjoying this.' I smiled to myself, of course I was. How could I not? This time, I went in deep. "Ah!" At first I took his crying out as a bad thing, that I had hurt him, but I was wrong. 'Whoa, I don't know what he did, but it felt good.' Oh I wonder if I hit his….. What was it? The prostate gland? I tried it again and deep groan came from Trenton. I kept up the same deep thrust over and over. I was so close to my orgasm but tried to hold back until Trenton had his. When his head flew back and he started moaning more than before, I let myself go. It was really nice having our orgasm's at the same time, made it more enjoyable. I lay on top of him, kissing him all over his face, just enjoying the moment of relief and relaxation. I don't think I was going to tell him about being able to hear his thoughts. It was nice and made things easier. After it being so useful, I couldn't risk losing that. I don't know why or how it happened but I was very thankful for it, in so many ways. The last kiss I gave him was on the lips then my eyes met his. 'I love you.' Come to think of it, I think I had fallen in love with him. |