CHANGES: After Three Years in UST

Changes: After Three Years in UST





So vast, great, historical and prestige—this is the oldest university, a catholic one, in the Philippines. With the banner of being a royal and pontifical one, its people—the students, staffs, janitors, manong sorbeteros, teachers, professors, deans, librarians, technicians, vendors, security guards, doctors, nurses, those who keep the carpark’s C.Rs, the scholars—all of them made my life in the University worthwhile.



The saints, the Dominicans (those with OPs and the seminarians) with their beautiful clothes as they march to the altar during Paskuhan’s Panunuluyan gave me a glimpse of an electrifying feeling with a desire of being one of them. I once asked myself: If I were a man, what would I be? And they all marched dramatically on the widest aisle in grandstand. I was on the side; my hands clasped together and were so prayerful. I watched them with a feeling of dismay and hopefulness. I did admire them so much. That was the very first Paskuhan of my life. Not only religious matters on me, my spirituality and morality were affected. These persons and their vocation vested upon me chances of hope and satisfaction in life especially in times of fall. Like an autumn in me were events whose endings was realizations similar to the thoughts I have as these persons dramatically enter in the church, ring the bells, pausok, look at the “ostiya”—so romantic and refreshing. I’m solved. They made my heart beat once more and more and see the satisfaction God offers to everyone if we just pursue truth.



Truth is as complex as love. To be guided by truth is as extent as to be guided by loving others and be loved. St. Thomas Aquinas, the patron saint of the university whom I first met in 2007 first semester as an idol at Santisimo Rosario, taught me so much about forms and matters, truths complexity and dimensions. When to see it? How does it guide us? How is it shown? How do we know its presence? Who is truth?



Questions were meant to be asked because we are not perfectly knowledgeable and intelligent. The first time I embraced Dominican Faith (actually, I don’t entertain such that there is faith of Jesuits, Dominicans and the like). What I knew before was just pray and do well to others and follow the commandments and sacraments. Obeying the family’s tradition—that was what I knew about religion. It is our tradition. It is a part of tradition. But everything I knew has changed. I remember Ma’am Quintana’s question on me during the interview for the scholarship. She asked: “How do you practice your Catholic Faith?” I replied that I do it through going to church every Sunday and by praying the Holy Rosary. As I move in and out of rooms in Albertus Magnus Building, I tend to look back on that question and find a different answer. I should not answer that going to church and praying. I told myself then, it must be practice—Fides Praxis!



How much faith do I have? How do I practice it?



That time, I was in blank. Deeper. Better if I shouldn’t say those not very good answers. Deeper. It must be deeper than them.



The answer was the most among the changes made in me—to hear that “call”. Everybody formed crowds, noisy and busy they were on that side of a narrow street in Blumentritt. That was the observation I had that time (first year second semester) as I was on the bus going to UST. I just looked at them—those kids looking nasty with their palms widely opened at us, passers-by. And something came to my mind. That thought made me feel the burden I’m going to carry from then on. That was a risk yet it challenged me. What I’ve seen was truth. What I’ve heard was the call. What I’ve responded was of and with Faith. Where I’m going from then on is for satisfaction.



Satisfaction is the term I loved. It’s not perfect ness but satisfaction. With things I learned inside the university, I find my whole being changed into a better me. I can see the doors of opportunity widely open and as clear as a light in day. I can hear the knocks of good chances on my door. I can tell God whatever I want to—everything as if cellphones and chats are not that really efficient and convenient way of communication. I find world cold and serious as in night but hope and faith will enlighten the day part of it. While we were to feel coldness and seriousness, there He showers the stars to twinkle upon us and that is His Love.



I turned an aspiring writer and poet when I had appreciated the university’s lovely places. As what I often use in my journal, the Plaza Mayor gave me hope. I quoted, “By Plaza Mayor I smile for there dwell my hopes and dreams.” When I’m sad, “By Plaza Mayor I sat on its bench and wept then look at the sky and feel God’s embrace.” When I’m in love, “By Plaza Mayor, I stood and wait, there he comes along with a smile that brightens the day.” There is Plaza Mayor and the front of Main Building. The sensation I feel when I happened to walk in sidewalk of Espana passing the main gate, seeing these two through Arc of the Centuries is like singing a song of pride and happiness. (This was my first time to see UST). I feel lucky to be changed.



Every walk I had for three years in a little way affect change in me. Encountering different people—feel confident as I pass them, shy or embarrass at some times, insecurities or securities—changed me. Their smiles, the eyes I had contacted on such expressive and dull ones changed me in a way these made me realize I am unique and we are different persons. These persons may be better or worse than me. If they can, why can’t I? Because of them, rich or poor ones in UST, I see life meaningful and challenging. Faith mixed all learning I had for three years and equated them to that of the pursuance of truth—there’s betterment in God’s Time.



To my beloved mother in the College of Education, I really appreciated her hardships and job not only for us scholars but for everybody in the college. I may be shy of her, on our first meet together, but I won’t be afraid to the expectations she enlisted on me. She changed me. She gave me strength and inspiration. I could remember how the feeling was when Dr. Arcanghel talked to me. No, I was not afraid though I should be. I wanted to be like her someday. Libre ang mangarap. My other parents, Ma’am De Leon and Ma’am Quintana always remind me of sharing to others. I have this privilege; I have to balance the world I am in through giving it back to others. This is service. A Dakila he is. The first course that gave me an unforgettable nervousness I had in my life. Later on my stay, I learned much from him. A Dakila he really is. I was proud to be a student of him. His advices, logical thoughts, the way he deals on things, the way he walk as he sip his KFC beverage, his response on problems, his laughs and funny crafts and humors, his stand stills in us—these changed me making a tough woman and good in decision making. Sir Adamos with his great mind changed me. Because of him, I feel in love with my major and so I stick to it until the end. I also aspire to be a topnotch like him. I hope so though it requires holistic development, 3C’s (Competence, Compassion and Commitment) and determination. The way he speak of complex and complicated formulae and theorems and or postulates made me feel that no matter how tough life may be, I must take it smoothly. Solving problems needs proper timing and “diskarte”(formula) guidance councilors especially Ma’am Irene, opened me an answer on no to being inferior. Though I am only an average student, I can excel still. I can go with the superiors. Sir Giovani also made me change. His extraordinary way of teaching knocked my heart to consideration and understanding. I won’t forget those times. He was still the teacher. Like him we will experience the same in some ways so we must blame nobody. Be considerate and understanding—compassionate that is. Creativity—being innovative and imaginative—that was what I got from Ma’am Geronimo. I developed that part and still needing improvement for TFU. Ma’am and Sir Sauz showed me the world of busy teachers both in home and school. Ma’am Sauz, a wife, showed me that world of a woman in home and a teacher in school. I’ve asked the what if’s in myself. And that told me that no matter what may influence this vocation I chose, I will still teach and touch lives of people. Ma’am Alonsabe changed me, too. She is a model of competence. Proven by the way she talks (for “reference” is riferens) and she is respected. I admire her! To be in front of the class is so hard. I was afraid on the first time. That was proctoring a quiz in 3-R (2009). I was really afraid of those eyes as if they were needles pinning me. I was nervous. But who was the first person I see in my mind on that phase? It was Ma’am Alonsabe. I shall just remember her and fill the competence I have. Sir Santiago’s organized lectures and prepared classes made me feel the need of being an organize and prudent teacher—efficient and effective, that is not a cheater. Doc A, I need a page to tell how much he changed me. So energetic he is and I wanted to get a king of energy like that. I wonder what he is drinking. And Father Roy, of course with his saying “Kasalanan lang ang Nakakahiya sa Mundo” touched me so much—fatherly touch. He was not married but he is my father in Educ. I often came to him and asked to be blessed. And every time he would, I hope he would recognize me. His sermons were different from other fathers. Like a father, he is my breadwinner. He feeds my spiritual self. He also nurtures my social and emotional part. I won’t forget that day he called us and compassionately gave us the chance to be with the outing of the family (COE). Oh, we are indeed a family!



So vast, great, historical and prestige—this is the oldest university, a catholic one, in the Philippines. Surrounded by its fence, I met them—my friends. Amity is my first key to independence from inferiority. Without them, who am I going to be? Without these people, where am I going to? Without my friends, who am I now. I can relate this paragraph to the song “Where are you now”. I’m thinking of (you) them. They showed me how to live like I do. If it wasn’t for (you) them, I would never be who I am. They helped me to be true to myself.



If not for the people inside UST or outside the campus, I won’t see my purpose. Everything has changed within me.



With the banner of being a royal and pontifical one—the center of excellence on my shoulders given by the College of Education, my family—the joys I had in UST…the sermons…the feelings of love…hope and faith…every moment in a very single time with them in here….



I changed.