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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1680234
As if Arun didn't have enough to worry about, he starts seeing girls in a different light.
A plethora of emotions were cascading through Arun’s head and he couldn’t comprehend most of them. But he knew that it all boiled down to the simple fact- he hated her guts.

Not just because of the fact that she was a girl. He had seen enough of girls to know they were long-haired, giggling, pink, disgusting minions of Satan. Looking down upon cricket and playing with *shudder* dolls. Plus he had it on pretty good authority that actually touching one would give you the COOTIES. He wasn’t exactly sure what COOTIES were and he had no intention of finding out.

No, he hated this one because she was the reason his summer was going to be miserable. A time which usually consisted of fun, frolic and amusement would be one of despondency and darkness because of the aforementioned vixen.

“Ma, can I have the new PSP? Sanjeev has it and it’s fundu.”
“We’ll see, Arru. All I can say is that if your class teacher’s report on you is anything similar to last years’, no PSP.”
“Aww, Ma!”
“Yes. And summer school.”
”....”
“Arru?”
“Sss..summer school?”

Summer school. Two words that haunted Arun ever since they chanced their way out of Ma’s lips. He had to get in Miss Bhatt’s good books or suffer dire consequences.

Miss Bhatt’s good books. Easier said than done.

***
Arun was pretty convinced that Miss Bhatt had been around when Ma and Paa were students. As old as the Nilgiris, she always wore the same green sari and glasses like two saucers. The shawl she wrapped around her irrespective of the weather made her look like a primeval deity adorned with garlands.

“Miss Bhatt, Arun is talking!”
“Thank you, Riya. Arun, come and sit here on the first bench.“
“OK class, answer this. I have 12 apples with me. Three have gone rotten. How many are left with me? Riya?”
“Nine, Miss Bhatt.”
“Very good. Arun, if you put that inside your nose again, you’ll be sorry. Alright, tell me. If you had six peaches and wanted to divide it equally with me, how many would you have in the end?”
“Umm... three?”
“Wrong, young man. Riya, correct him like you do every time.”
“Miss Bhatt, the correct answer is six because we all know how you hate peaches and wouldn’t take them from anyone.”
“Very good, child.”

What an evil, evil woman. She definitely has otherworldly powers, like the knack of getting you to close your eyes and doze off with her monotonic digresses. Not to mention the knack of scaring you out of your wits with the LOOK. Arun had been the victim of the LOOK only once so far and those moments were his blackest in living memory.

She was currently exercising the former ability with stupendous success. Arun found himself drifting away and thinking about the PSP. And chocolate milkshake. And Arsenal. He was broken out of his reverie in the most abrupt way possible.

“-ould straighten you out for sure. Is that understood, Arun?”
“Umm.. er.. yes Miss. Of course Miss.”
“That’s settled then. Riya will be your bench partner for this month. I hope she has some positive effect on you.”

Apocalypse. The PSP fell and broke, the chocolate milkshake spilled over, Arsenal got thrashed. Bench partners. For a month. What colossal sins had he committed to have this punishment pronounced upon him? This feeling surely usurped the one he had when he was under the LOOK. Date with the Devil. A 30 day date.

It needn’t be that bad, he reasoned with himself. After all, Ma was a girl too and she was alright. Ma once told him that a time would come when he would actually like girls.

Thinking this, in spite of all the horrors inflicted upon him, he burst out laughing.
Like girls? Yeah right.         

***

A plethora of emotions were cascading through Arun’s head and he couldn’t comprehend most of them. But he knew that it all boiled down to the simple fact- he loved her like crazy.

Over the past 3 weeks, he had already discounted all the accusations levelled against her and had mentally reprimanded himself countless times for saying vile things about this angel in pink. He had even accidentally brushed his arm against hers and there were no visible symptoms of COOTIES yet, so he now thought that a dubious claim as well.

On top of righting these falsifications, he discovered other magnificent things too. The SMELL. It was heavenly, like a field full of daisies. And he didn’t even like daisies. The VOICE. What from far away sounded like a squeal of a hungry piglet was in reality more akin to a nightingale’s serenade. The fact was that beneath the obnoxious, irritating exterior, Riya was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

She’s like a lotus, he thought and then congratulated himself on his cleverness and imagination. Like a gorgeous lotus. Or a graceful doe. Boy, I’m good.

“What are you thinking about, Arun?”
“What? Oh, nothing. Just wondering where my eraser went.”
“It was here a minute ago.”
“Wait a second, here it is.”  He said and pulled the eraser from behind her ear. It was a trick he had been perfecting all week.
“Oh my god, how did you do that?!” The wonder in her eyes turned to glee and she started laughing.
O Lord, I will do anything for that laugh, he thought. The dimple on her left cheek sent a strange feeling through his tummy. Is this what it felt like to have COOTIES? If it was, he quite liked it.
“This is nothing. Wait till you see what I can do with a deck of cards.”
“Cards! That reminds me, here’s an invitation for my birthday. It’s on Saturday. Come if you can.”
“Uhhh... yeah, I’ll see if I can manage it.”

Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t miss this for the world.   

***

“What in God’s name is THAT supposed to be?”
“Aaah! Oh, it’s you. Stop sneaking up on me like that. And it’s a tie.”
“Yeah, in some alternate reality where I’m dumb and you’re smart, maybe. Here, it looks like you’re trying to strangle yourself.”
“Well, can you help me?”
“Sure. Here, just take that knot over there and....”
“Urghhhh.... *splutter* bh-bhaiya *cough* stop it. STOP IT!”
“What’s the matter now? Did you or did you not say that you needed help in strangling yourself?”

Arun landed punches on Ganesh’s chest, panting and gasping. He was pushed away like an irksome fly. Ganesh started laughing, his humungous frame shaking as he displayed equally humungous white teeth. Arun was of the opinion that Ganesh had taken the name he was christened with a tad too seriously, and now rivalled the Elephant God in girth, perhaps even surpassing it. Unfortunately, Ganeshji’s warmth and intelligence had failed to rub off on this less illustrious namesake. Of course, these opinions of Arun never left the confines of his head, lest there be no head to think with later.

“Where are you going anyways, midget? All dressed up like that?”
“*mumble mumble* birthday party..”
“A party, huh? Whose party is it?”
“A  friends’.” (Which I have, unlike you)
“Yeah, I got that, dumbo. But who is this special friend, who’s got you so prim and proper and.. *sniff* is that perfume?”
“NO. Room freshener, For the room, you know.” (to negate your stench)
“Yeah, I got that, dumbo. What do you think I am, dumb? No more of your smart mouth, bucko, or I’ll chuck you down the Grand Canyon. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
“No sir.” (Wouldn’t be a problem for you though, you’d just get stuck.)
“WHAT?! What was that, midget?”

Shoot. One of the niggly little critters had escaped his head, after all. Arun had no recollection of saying it out loud, but he must have said something to that effect. The moving mountain turned red with rage.

“I’d get stuck, eh?”

Arun took several steps backward, expecting an eruption any instant. Surprisingly, the blob turned on his heels and walked out of the room. Immense relief turned to dread though as he saw Ganesh close the door. The click of lock was the most horrifying sound he had heard.

“Who’s stuck now, huh? So long midget, enjoy your party! Oh, I almost forgot. You’re not going, are you?”

As Arun heard the big, blundering goof’s chortling grow fainter as he went downstairs, his heart seemed to have stopped.       
     
***

There he was, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. The party was already a distant dream, a reminder of happier times which seemed like aeons ago. The month was almost over. Riya would be gone. And summer school constantly loomed on the horizon like some hideous monstrosity.

The combined might of these three sources of sorrow was too much for a ten year old kid to handle. He felt tears falling down his cheeks and wiped them away angrily. Nothing could be done. Summer school beckoned, which he would have to face sans his princess. She would undoubtedly be hopping mad when he didn’t make it to the party. She would think he didn’t care.

But he DID care! But how the hell was he supposed to get out of this red-brick prison? The door was locked, Riya’s heart was locked. There was no key...

KEY! He sat up straight as if shot by a bolt of lightning. Didn’t Ma keep a spare key of every room in the room itself? Where was it? Think. THINK! He racked his brains for seconds, a minute, hours, he couldn’t tell. Finally the answer hit him with the force of a knockout punch.

On top of the cupboard. Which was over six feet high. But this fact didn’t dishearten him at all. The realization that there was a way out of this burned like a torch inside his head, warding off all negative thoughts. He stood there for some time, mulling over things and observing his surroundings. Then he got to work.

He took off the pillows from the bed and placed them beneath the cupboard. Then he went to the bookcase, took three books he thought would take at least a year to finish, and placed them on the chair. He climbed on the books, and tried to jump. Too short. He got another Ganesh-sized book and tried again. Short again. By a whisker. The length of thread he was catching had more than clothes hanging on it. His hopes hung on it.

He took a deep breath, crouched and leaped with all his might. The clothesline which ran the length of the room just caught in his little fingers. Preliminary objective accomplished. He had his heart in his mouth as a nasty jerk signalled the impending collapse of the line. But it, and he, held on.

He scanned the top of the cupboard, hoping that he was right. YES! There it was, glittering in the reflected light. It was infinitely more precious than all the treasures in the world. The Holy Grail. The key. He reached out, intending to grab it. Too far. All that came in his hand was an old coat hanger.

But he was immune to all problems now. He confidently held the coat hanger and slid it over the key so that it caught on. He pulled it towards him. He took it.

A *SNAP* told him that the thread had finally outlived its usefulness and he tumbled to the ground. God must be with him in his quest, he thought, because he landed straight on the pillows with just a bruise on his leg when he hit the bed along the way. He got up and examined it. A real brute of a bruise, already turning black. Funnily, he felt nothing. The elation in having secured the key acted like Novocain on his wounds.

He almost yelled out in jubilation, but controlled himself. The rotund oaf was sleeping, he could hear ear-splitting snores like rumbling thunder coming from the adjacent room. He didn’t want to ruin it now, not after coming so close.
He put the key in the lock and turned it, holding his breath. It escaped in a relieved whoosh when there was a familiar click and the knob turned in his hand. He exited the room and locked it from the outside again. He then found the house keys, exited the house discreetly and locked it from the outside too. Let Ganesh explain to Ma how his brother disappeared and he got locked inside the house. That would be an entertaining conversation to observe. But he had other things on his mind. There was a party to attend.

He started running.

***
“Yes, Riya is home. May I ask who you are?”
“Arun, her friend. I’ve been invited to the party.”

Arun couldn’t blame the man for looking disbelieving. He was criminally late, his face was sweaty and tear-stained, his clothes were dirty and his hair was unruffled. He looked more fit to eat the leftovers after the party than attend it. But he went inside just the same. As he stepped over the threshold of the hall, he pulled out his present from his back pocket. A deck of cards. Yes, he would make her laugh with wonder, there was no better gift. He would be her magician for the evening, she would be his magic for life. Boy, he should write this stuff down, it was killer.

“Wow Kabir, how do you these things? You must teach me!”
“Now now, a good magician never reveals his secrets”
“Oh Arun, you’re here. Meet Kabir, my new neighbour.”
“Hey Arun. What happened to your clothes?”

Arun regarded this competitor with open suspicion. With each passing glance, he grew more worried. This bloke was a whole head taller than him. Dressed impeccably but casually in white shirt and jeans. Friendly smile.  And there he was, like a grumpy street mongrel.

“Kabir goes to Delhi Public School and I’m going there next year too. Isn’t that great? He was just showing me some magic card tricks and he’s super!”
“Oh come on, it’s nothing. Do you know any card tricks or something, dude?”
“Nothing special.” Arun said as he pushed his deck back into his pocket.
“Hey Riya, there was a chocolate on this table right now. Where did it go?”
“Oh geez, I don-“
“No matter, found it.” And he pulled it out from behind her ear.

Wonder in her eyes, then glee. She started laughing. As for Arun, he didn’t feel like laughing so much.

***

Arun sat in his room, thinking. He felt a lot better about things now. After many days of moping and brooding, he had resolved to hate girls again. He did it well enough before *gulp* well, before. He could do it again.

Besides that, life was pretty much back to normal. Summer school was almost a certainty, but he was resigned to that fact now. He would move on with things as well as he could. The GIRLS chapter in his life would be discarded like a bad nightmare. Who knows, he may even get that PSP next year.

“Arru, come down here for a minute and meet our new neighbours!”
“Come here, meet Mr. And Mrs. Ghosh and their daughter Anita. She’s just a year younger to you. You could be friends.”
“Hi Arun.” She said and smiled.

Arun was speechless in the contemplation of this nine year nymph. The shy smile sent tremors through his arms. She had dimples on both cheeks. She smelled like a bushel of roses. His lips said ‘hi’ but his mind was already doing cartwheels and somersaults.

This was going to be harder than he thought.


 




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