A Good Name

A Good Name

Summer sat on top of the toilet in the restroom stall. The door was locked and she had pulled her feet up so they were on the toilet seat. Her head rested between her knees. No one could tell she was in there by looking under the door. That was for the best. Surprise would be to her advantage. Summer felt a scream building, but would not let it out. She could smell the combination of urine, soap, and the cheap pine-oil disinfectant used in the restroom, she did not move. The pipes in the wall gurgled as if they were ready to regurgitate their contents, but still she did not move. Only her mind moved, inside flashing images, too fast, like a remote stuck on fast forward, skipping memories, colors and images into a kaleidoscope. Images of her past, the way she had always been treated. To alleviate the fast pace of the images in her mind, Summer reached into the black purse she had in her lap and felt the knife. She was careful not to touch the sharp part of the blade. As her fingers touched the handle, the images slowed so she was able to look around at the drab faded olive-green walls of the stall. They were covered with multicolored scribbling, the marks people often left behind. As her eyes settled on a drawing of a line with eyes and a nose with ‘Kilroy Was Here’ written under it, she thought back to the memory of her first day of Kindergarten...





Summer was so excited; she could barely eat her breakfast. It was a good breakfast too, eggs cooked just the way she liked them, glasses of both orange juice and milk, one slice of crisp bacon, and a fresh homemade biscuit. Mama didn’t often make homemade biscuits, but it was a special day. Today was the first day of school. Daddy had told her, she was officially a big girl. Summer felt very pretty. She was a pretty girl, but sometimes didn’t feel like she was. Tall for her age, she was thin, almost gaunt with long hair the color of amber. Her brown eyes had sparkles of cinnamon that reflected if the sunlight hit them just right. Her legs were long and gangly; her knees were so knobby it looked almost like she had a small flesh-colored doorknob on each leg. Summer’s mouth was tiny like a small pink butterfly, but always had a ready smile to show her ivory white teeth.

Because it was such an extraordinary day, Granny had picked out a special outfit for her. It was a white dress, with little pink flowers on it, a big pink bow around her waist, and in her hair she wore matching pink bows tied around the ponytails she had, one on each side of her head. Her shoes were brand new black shiny ones, with a strap across the top and she had even been allowed to wear some white tights. Granny said they were almost like the pantyhose that big girls were allowed to wear.

“Come on Summer it is time to go to school!” Mama said as she took Summer’s hand and they headed out to the car. It was a pretty day for a September in Mississippi, not hot and sticky, like most Septembers. It was sunny today too, a change from the steady rain that had been falling for the past week, leaving everything muddy and drab. But not today because it was a special day.

As Summer stepped off the porch, her big brother, Jimmy, came around from the back of the house. At 19, he was a very large man, standing 6’7” and weighing in at over 300 pounds. Summer called him a giant, he called her a munchkin. Summer loved her big brother and he loved her.

“Summer look what I found.” He opened his hands a little bit and a tiny fluffy white kitten with copper eyes peeked out. Summer gasped. “Yes for you. A big girl present.” Jimmy said as he handed it to her. “What are you going to name him?”

Summer took the kitten and rubbed her cheek against his fur. “Ohhh, my very own kitty. Thank you!” Summer thought for a minute about what to name him, and then said, “He is all white so I am going to name him Rainbow. Because he needs to know he is as pretty as any color there is.” Summer kept holding her kitten close. She whispered “I love you Rainbow, you will be my best kitty friend forever.” Her very own kitty, all hers to hold and love.

Jimmy took the kitten from her. “Time to go to school. I’ll take good care of Rainbow for you all day, okay?” Summer nodded and smiled.

On the way to school, Summer sat buckled in the back seat, being very careful not to wrinkle her new dress. She was so excited, she kept tapping the sides of her shoes together and pulling her dress down to cover her knees.

She listened as Mama said, “If you are nice and polite to the other children they will be your friend. Say ‘Yes Ma’am’ to your teacher and sit quietly until you are called on. Remember your manners and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ You will remember your manners, right?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Summer answered. ‘I will remember my manners.”

Walking into the classroom for the first time, Summer suddenly got very shy. It wasn’t a large room, but seemed crowded because of the tables. There were four long tables with five small blue plastic and metal chairs on each side. Almost every chair had a child sitting in it. There were dirt streaked windows along one side of the room, that allowed the sunlight to enter feebly, and the air had a peculiar smell of smashed chickpeas mixed with flour. Summer later found this to be the paste that was used for almost everything.

There was a big brown and silver metal desk at the front with a lady sitting behind it. Summer looked at the teacher as she stood up and walked over to Summer. The teacher was short, almost the same height as Summer, with curly sun streaked brick red hair. Her face was freckled the same color as her hair and there were so many, her whole face was almost all one big freckle. She smiled and said “Good Morning. I am Mrs. Kilroy. I am your teacher.”

Summer held out her hand to shake, as she had been taught and said, “Hello Mrs. Kilroy. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Summer Richards. How do you do?” Then she curtsied.

“Oh my Goodness, you are very polite. I do very well, thank you.” Mrs. Kilroy answered, but didn’t take Summer’s hand. “Please find a seat and make yourself comfortable. We are almost ready to start school.” Summer smiled, walked to the closest chair and carefully sat down, folding her hands on top of the table in front of her.

As the morning progressed, it became apparent to Mrs. Kilroy, and the other children, that Summer was far advanced. Mrs. Kilroy stopped calling on Summer when a question was asked. Summer was surprised that most of the children could not read, or even knew their alphabet. If another child was asked a question and was not able to answer it, Summer would laugh and shake her head. When recess came, Summer had managed to make most of the other children angry because of her laughing at them. She then remembered her Mama’s words of “If you are nice and polite to the other children they will be your friend.” But it was too late.

Summer ran to the swings and sat in the last one. Summer loved to swing, but under all the swings were big puddles of rust red clay mud. Summer was so careful not to step in one as she sat in the swing and started pumping her legs back and forth trying to swing higher and higher. Suddenly she felt someone grab the swing chain and pull it to a stop. She flew out of the swing and plunged into the puddle with a big splash. Summer started to cry, she was humiliated. Her new white dress was now covered in splashes of sepia colored mud.

“Cry baby, cry baby” some of the children started chanting. “Big stupid cry baby” Summer looked at them and cried even harder just as a big mud ball hit her in the face. She stopped crying and sat there in the puddle with mud dripping off her chin, like blood. Summer was dumbfounded that anyone would do something so cruel. As she sat there a bird started to sing, Summer realized it was a happy sound, but very much out of place with the way she was feeling.

One girl stood apart from the rest. She was almost as tall as, but heavier, than Summer. The girl was not fat, but her face looked fat, her brown eyes were much too small and reminded Summer of the eyes she had once seen on a pig. The girl’s hair was shoulder length, a greasy mushroom color, and struggling to escape from a cheap red barrette shaped like a flower of some type. Her lips were thin and almost colorless, and were held in a frown. The clothes she wore wrinkled and plain, consisted of jeans, an orange shirt, and were topped with a blue and white windbreaker. The girl stood there with her hands covered in mud. Summer stood up, as the muddy water ran off her, and asked, “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t like you!” the girl answered ‘You are not nice, you are a crybaby too.”

“I am nice. I didn’t say anything mean to you. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so how can you say I am not nice.” Summer asked. She was perplexed. It was her first experience with other children, she did not realize that her laughing at the other children had upset them. Unwittingly, her parents had done her the disservice of not exposing her to them. Her contacts with people in the past had been with rational adults only.

The girl taunted Summer. “My name is Laura Webb. My Daddy is the sheriff. He takes bad people to jail. I am going to tell him you are bad. I will laugh at you when you are in jail, just like you laughed at me in class.” Laura laughed and pushed Summer down again into the mud puddle.

Summer jumped up, she was soaking wet, her dress was ruined, she felt like hitting, but remembered it was bad manners to hit. ‘I am not bad. You are a mean bully girl. I am going to tell your daddy you are a bad girl. He’ll put you in jail.” Summer reached down, picked up a ball of mud and threw it at Laura, but missed.

“Cry baby cry baby, dirty bad cry baby.” Laura sang at Summer.

When the bell rang, Summer walked slowly back to the classroom. Mrs. Kilroy took one look at her and made her sit on a towel in the corner. Summer tried to explain what happened, but the other children told Mrs. Kilroy that Summer was telling lies. Summer put her chin on her chest and decided she hated school. The day she had looked so forward was not as she had wanted it to be. Summer thought about her kitty Rainbow, waiting for her at home, then about her day at school, then decided, Bully girl was a good name for Laura Webb.





Summer moved slightly. Her legs were uncomfortable from holding them up off the floor. She thought about putting them down, but before she could, several girls came into the restroom. Summer could hear them talking about a party one had planned for the weekend.

“I don’t know if Angela is going to make it or not, but get this! Monica says her brother is going to be there!” the voice was excited and this announcement brought squeals from the other girls.

“Oh he is so HOT!” another voice said.

“Hot is not the word, girl, he is on fire!” still another voice said.

The second voice said, “So who else is going to be there?”

“Not sure, but I know we will be and Monica and her brother. I think that there are a couple of others too. I have to find out.” The first voice said. “I invited all my friends, so who knows there might be a lot of people there.”

Summer listed as the girls talked about different friends and the upcoming party with sadness. She had never felt welcome or part of any group in the school. Summer decided to shift her weight some and think of something to take her mind off the way she was feeling. While still stroking the handle of the knife, she let her eyes wander around the stall again, and settled on a drawing of a heart with “Best Friends Forever” written under it. Her throat felt like it was closing up from holding back tears. Summer refused to let the tears out and remembered…





When Mama called her for school, Summer pulled the covers over her head; it was warm and dark under there. She hugged her Rainbow kitty close and rubbed her nose into his soft fur. He started purring, his purr was rough and irregular like a truck missing. Summer tried to pretend it was the weekend. But when Mama called again, she sighed, knew it was another weekday, and she had to get up to go to school. Summer loved the learning but hated school. She felt cursed for being too intelligent, without realizing that sometimes her know-it-all attitude annoyed the other children. The taunts and laughter from the other children hurt, so she would avoid them and always felt alone.

As Summer waited outside for the school bus, she dreamed that one day she would find someone she could be friends with, someone besides her kitty Rainbow. She knew he loved her because he always greeted her with purrs and fish smelling kitty kisses. Summer wanted a people friend, but even in the third grade she was felt it was a hopeless goal.

At school, Summer seldom spoke, and made sure to always sit as far in the back of the room as possible. She never volunteered answers, but would always answer when she was called on. Her teacher had learned it was almost impossible to catch Summer with a wrong answer.

Summer looked around the room. It was Valentine’s Day; there was red, pink, and white construction paper everywhere. Summer sighed; she never got any valentines, even though she always made sure to have one for everyone else. Summer hated Valentine’s Day almost as much as she hated school. It was a day meant to celebrate friendship, but Summer had decided it was another day of humiliation.

Her location in the rear of the room gave Summer a good view of the activity, but when the room door opened and the principal walked in with a short and very chubby girl, everything became still and quiet as all eyes turned to look, including Summer. This girl, in addition to being short and chubby, had hair that was fluffy, light and so short it was more like cobwebby down than hair. She wore a clean, but very old navy blue cotton skirt and a much repaired light blue sweater with an embroidered orange tiger cat on the front. The girl smiled and her mouth showed a fringe of brown teeth, not from a lack of dental care but, Summer found out later, from antibiotics she had received when she was a baby. Summer was fascinated by the girl’s eyes because they seemed to almost be star-like blossoms of brilliant blue.

“Class we have a new student.” The Principal said. “Introduce yourself to everyone.”

The fat little girl looked around, and then down to the floor said “My name is Thelly.” The other children snickered.

“Now now, be nice Shelly has a lisp. She is trying to say her words right, but it is hard for her sometimes. It’s not polite to laugh.” The Principal smiled and showed all his teeth. It reminded Summer of an old red hound dog she had seen one time, just before it bit someone. He patted Shelly on the head, and then walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him, as if it had annoyed him to have his day interrupted by a student.

The teacher got up and hurried to the door, opened it, and spoke to the Principal before he could get away. She reached behind herself and slammed the door with a bang before she began speaking to the principal.

The first child to say something to Shelly was Laura Webb. “You retarded?” Her voice was sharp and annoyed. Shelly shook her head. “Well don’t sit by me I don’t like retarded people.” This caused the other children to laugh. Shelly didn’t say anything; she just looked at the floor and pulled on the bottom of her sweater. “Yea, you must be retarded. You are too stupid to talk right.”

Summer stood up, wadded up some paper and threw it, hitting Laura in the back and then said “Leave her alone you mean bully girl. You are the stupid one. You never get any answers right.” Summer stuck her tongue out at Laura, then looked at the new girl and said, “You can sit at my desk if you want. Don’t pay any attention to that bully girl. She’s just hateful about everything. I think because she is really the retarded one and just too stupid to know it.” Summer turned and stared at the Laura defiantly.

Laura jumped up, knocking over her desk, clenched her fists and headed towards Summer and screamed. “I am going to get you!”

She stopped short just as the teacher walked back into the room and asked, “What is going on here?”

“Summer was causing trouble again.” Laura answered before Summer could say anything as the other children nodded agreement.

The teacher sighed and said, “Summer, why is it that any time there is trouble you and Laura are in the middle of it.” Laura just smirked. “And you Laura, I don’t think you are at all innocent, so stop it right now.”

Summer tried to explain. “I asked Shelly to come sit with me, because Laura was calling her names. I don’t mind, really I don’t, because I don’t use my desk much.”

The teacher looked around the room and said, “Is anyone else willing to share a desk with Shelly?” The other children either didn’t respond or shook their heads. “Shelly, go sit with Summer, until we can get another desk for you. Summer, Laura any more shenanigans from either of you and I’ll call your Mothers.”

“Yes Ma’am, I promise to behave.” Summer said as she moved her chair to the side as Shelly dragged another chair to the desk. Summer smiled at Shelly, and whispered “Hello.”

Shelly looked at Summer. “Am Thelly, you can laugh now.”

“Laugh, why would I laugh? I like your name it’s cute. Do you like kitties?” Summer asked, pointing at the girl’s sweater. Shelly nodded yes. “I have a kitty, his name is Rainbow. He is all white, but his eyes look like a brand new penny. He has a long tail and his fur is real soft. He likes to purr, but it isn’t like a regular purr. It is rough sounding. My big brother, Jimmy, says his purr is broken, but I don’t care, because he is a wonderful kitty. I am going to call you Shelly the cat lover. Heck there aren’t enough cat lovers in the world. Do you have any cats?”

Shaking her head, Shelly said, “No, my Mommie is a..allergic to them.” She paused, then continued, “Man you talk a lot don’t you?”

“Yes, I have been told I talk all the time. And it’s okay that you don’t have a kitty. You can pretend Rainbow is yours too. He won’t mind. He likes to be petted and hugged. He doesn’t bite, well most of the time he doesn’t. He might when you try to feed him and he thinks you’re too slow, but heck he gets hungry and it isn’t like biting for real or anything. Where do you live?” Summers voice moved above a whisper in her excitement.

“Summer, Please stop talking. Unless you want to teach the class.” The teacher reprimanded.

“Yes Ma’am.” Summer muttered, and got quiet, but smiled at Shelly. Shelly returned the smile.

When the lunch bell rang, Summer jumped up and got her lunch bag. Shelly stood up, but said, “I’m not hungry. I guess I can stay here?”

“Not hungry, how can anyone not be hungry?” Summer was astounded. Even though she was thin, everyone joked about her hollow leg. Summer could put away the food, but was so active it burned right off her.

Shelly looked embarrassed at the floor. “I don’t have a lunch we don’t got money for one. In the office they thaid I can get free lunch, but we don’t take any charity. My Mama workth at the Waffle House. Thhe theths there ain’t anything wrong with being poor, but have to be proud and try to take care of yourthelf, not depend on charity or strangerthto do it. It’s just me and her. My Mommie had a boyfriend, but he got drunk a lot and would hit on her and me, tho we moved away.”

Summer couldn’t believe a man would hit on a woman, but then she had never been exposed to it. She opened her lunch bag, looked inside and sighed. “Man oh man, my Daddy did it again. He put all kinds of stuff in here and I am not going to eat it all. Most I throw away. If you want to sit with me you can have it. It isn’t charity or anything, because like I said there is way too much for me. I feel bad when I have to throw it away. I don’t mind, but we have to go to the lunch room. The teacher will get mad if we stay here.” Before moving though, Summer reached in and pulled out a small box of hard candy valentines hearts, opened it up pushed a pink one that said “best friends” over to Shelly. “Oh look, you want some of these too?”

Shelly picked it up, read it, smiled and, and said astonished, “You want to be my friend?”

Summer nodded, “If you want to be mine, I do, but I have to warn you, I talk a mile a minute and it might be hard to get a word in.”

Summer smiled as Shelly hugged her and said, “I don’t mind if you talk a lot. I would like being your best friend forever.” She took Shelly’s hand and they walked to the lunch room. Inside Summer felt exhilarated and optimistic. Shelly was a good name for a best friend.





The restroom was cold. Summer shivered and tried to not think about it. She had to hold her position. She reached into her purse again and felt the knife handle again. It seemed to give her warmth and strength. Summer knew the knife wasn’t really warm, but she seemed to feel the warmth anyway. She took her hand out of the purse and wrapped her arms around her legs before noticing a drawing of a flower. It was a crudely drawn flower with five petals and three leaves coming out of a pot. The center of the flower was a smiley face. It was just a very crude line drawing, but it took Summer to a warmer happier moment....





Summer folded her gangly legs under her as she sat down on the slightly damp lawn. The air had the scent of licorice from the small wild onion flowers that insisted they belonged in spite of the efforts of Summer's father to have a smooth weed free lawn. Summer felt her bottom getting wet and knew there would be a dirty green stain on her white cotton shorts, but didn't care. She patted the ground next to her, looked up at her best friend and said "Sit."

As Shelly sat down carefully, the differences between the two girls was obvious. Summer was thin, while Shelly was chubby and round. The white shorts Summer wore were finely made and carried a designer label, while the blush colored button up blouse she wore was impeccably ironed and unfaded. Shelly had on a pair of clean but very old jeans, so worn her fat scratched knees showed through, while her t-shirt was a purple faded to almost a pale purplish rose.

"I have something to show you, I haven’t shown it to anyone before. You are my best friend in the whole wide world, but it's a real secret. Okay?" As Shelly nodded agreement, Summer pulled a small red book from her front left pocket. ‘Diary’ was written in faded gold letters across the leather cover. The book fit in the palm of her hand and was kept closed by a small strap and snap. Summers voice was squeaky and nervous "You have to promise to not tell anyone, not ever! You have to promise, cross your heart, hope to die and stick a needle in your eye. Okay?"

Shelly held up two fingers together and lisped "I promthe." Shelly crossed her heart to show she was serious and would actually stick a needle in her eye if she ever let the secret out. She still lisped on occasion, but it had gotten much better.

Shelly watched as Summer held the small book closer and, as Summer pushed up on the strap, the snap let go with a tiny click. The tiny pages made a whispering fluttering sound, like a breeze makes as it ruffles feathers on a bird wing. Summer paused, looked at Shelly and smiled. The only sound either girl heard was the incessant whispers of the ever present no-see-um's. Shelly brushed her hand around her face to shoo them away, but then stopped because it didn't do any good, it never did. She looked at Summer and then looked down at the small red book.

Summer held the book, opened the covers a tiny bit, and then held it to Shelly's nose. "How's that smell? It’s real pretty, isn’t it?" Shelly took a small sniff, and then inhaled deeply. She didn't know what it was, but it smelled good. Sweet and soft, almost like a peppery candied green apple. Summer giggled. "Yes! I can see you like it!"

"What's in there?" Shelly asked as she pointed to the book.

"It's my special secret. I have kept it a long time, because my grandpa gave it to me. Would you like to see it now?" Shelly nodded, as Summer slowly parted the covers of the book to reveal several small tanned leather colored pieces of what appeared to be parchment. "It's a flower. It's called a gardenia. My Granny showed me how to dry it so it keeps on smelling real good, and it does, don't it?"

Shelly reached out one finger and touched one of the pieces. It felt luxurious like a fragile piece of silk. Shelly asked, “Gardenia?" Summer nodded.

"Do you want to know why it is so really special?" Summer paused waiting, anxiously, for Shelly's nod before continuing. "One time when I was real little, I think I was three? My Grandpa took my Granny and me to this big fancy restaurant in New Orleans. Man it was so neat. You know what they had on the table?"

Shelly shook her head. She had never been to a big fancy restaurant or New Orleans and had no idea what they might have on the table.

"It had this thing that looked like a bird, but its bottom was a big red ball and when you pushed on its head and put its nose in a glass of water it would go up and down and up and down like it was drinking water. I bet if it drank that much water though it would blow up and splash water everywhere! Just like a water balloon." Summer laughed and her infectious laugh caused Shelly to laugh especially at the image of a red bird drinking water then blowing up like a balloon.

"Anyway, this lady came by and had these flowers and asked my Grandpa if he wanted to buy a flower for his favorite lady. My Grandpa told her that he guessed he had to buy two because he couldn't decide who his favorite was. And he got two, one for me and one for Granny. It smelled so good and I sat up real high because I felt like a grown up lady."

"You wanna know what else we did that night?" Summer paused for just a second to inhale, and then continued on, "We were walking down the street and there was this guy and he had a monkey on a dog leash. Oh it was so cute; it had on a little gold hat and a gold vest, but no pants." Summer giggled, "I guess because in pants there would not have been room for his tail! He had this cup and the man had a music box and when the man made music the monkey danced around and my Granny gave me some pennies for the monkey and he took those pennies right out of my hand, and then tipped his hat, just like he had been taught some manners and such."

Summer jumped up, and hunched over, curled her arms with her elbows sticking out, so they made a bow on either side, and started making Ekk Ekk sounds and saying, "I'm a monkey I'm a monkey!" Shelly got up, laughed and, copying Summer, pretended to be a monkey too. When the girls sat down they were both out of breath, but little giggles kept sneaking out as they thought about being monkeys.

Finally catching her breath Summer chewed on her lower lip and looked at Shelly. "Uhh Shelly?" Summer pointed to her book, hesitated, then said in a rush, "I’ve been keeping this my special secret forever, I mean, maybe not forever, but since I was three, and that is seven years. We have been friends for about three years and you are my best friend in the whole world." Summer looked at the ground, almost like she was embarrassed. "If I were to give you maybe a couple pieces of my gardenia flower and tell you how to keep it smelling all good and such, would you want some?"

Shelly looked at Summer and without saying a word, started to cry. No one had ever given her something so special before. Most people thought Shelly was stupid because of her lisp and trash because she was dirt poor. Everyone it seemed, but Summer. With her eyes full of tears, Shelly hugged Summer, "I love you. You will be my best friend forever!"

"Oh man, don't go getting all blubbery on me. I love you too!" Summer hugged Shelly back, then stood up and said, "I'll be right back, let me go get something to put them in."

Shelly nodded as Summer went into the house. She wrapped her arms around her knees, sighed with happiness and waited patiently. Gardenia was a good name for a special secret.





Summer smiled as she remembered sharing her special secret with her best friend. She was glad she had given Shelly some of the petals. Shelly had kept them close and told her it was as if she had gotten to go on the unique trip. In spite of Summer’s efforts, a sob escaped and tears threatened to overflow. To distract her from the desire to cry, Summer she stretched one leg out, and wiggled a foot, then readjusted herself so she was facing the other wall of the stall. It was a mistake. Written on the wall in bright red lipstick was “Shelly L is retarded and Summer eats her!” Summer reached up and wiped it into a red smear so the words were not distinguishable. They were best friends, why did people have to sully the relationship with crude remarks? Summer flashed back to just a few days ago in the cafeteria…





The low murmur of conversation and clanking of utensils in the high school cafeteria did not disturb Shelly or Summer as they sat eating their lunch. They always sat together. Summer loved her friend Shelley and was proud of how she had changed over the years. When they met in the third grade Shelly was fat, shy and lisped. During the past summer, she had grown taller, which spread a lot of her fat into different places, resulting in some very nice curves for Shelly. Her lisp was gone, except when she was under a lot of stress, and she had become much more outgoing.

At 14, both girls were starting to get interested in boys, but today they were so deep in a discussion about a planned upcoming bike trip for Saturday; neither girl noticed Eric approaching, until he sat down by Shelly and said “Hi.”

The girls jumped slightly and both murmured hi’s back to him.

“You know who I am, right?” Eric smiled at them.

“Sure, everyone in the school knows who you are. The high school football team wouldn’t win without you as the Quarterback.” Shelly answered. She had a crush on Eric, but didn’t mention it. Summer didn’t say anything, but frowned. She didn’t like the idea of Shelly having a crush on Eric, because Eric was always with Laura. Summer and Laura had been enemies since kindergarten.

“Is there something you want?” Summer asked in a very annoyed voice. “If not, then we are talking about plans for the weekend.” The expression on her face was one of distaste and hate.

“Well, I really wanted to talk to Shelly for a minute. I don’t think she will mind. Will you?” Eric turned and looked at Shelly and smiled.

Shelly giggled and looked down, then said, “No I don’t mind.” Summer looked at Shelly a minute then at Eric. She shook her head, but didn’t say anything.

“Some friends and I are going to go to the movies, and I wondered if you would like to go. That old drive-in is opening for a special showing tonight. It would be fun.” Eric asked Shelly.

“Oh Yes! I would love to go with you. If my Mama will let me, but I am sure she will!” Shelly excitedly answered. She smiled so big, Summer felt like asking if her face was going to crack.

“Okay then. I know where you live, pick you at 6 tonight.” Eric touched Shelly on the chin winked, got up and left. Shelly watched him as he walked across the cafeteria and then sighed.

“You shouldn’t go out with him, you know.” Summer said. “There are rumors, he and his friends drink and do drugs. I have heard they even got arrested.”

“That is just a rumor, and you know it. They weren’t arrested, they were questioned and nothing came of it. I think you are just jealous because he didn’t ask you to go. He asked me!” Shelly retorted.

“Jealous? Me? I think not! I just care about you and don’t want you to get hurt. Has he ever said anything to you to show you he was interested?” Summer asked, and when Shelley shook her head. “That is what I thought. I don’t like this.”

“Oh, Summer, can we just drop it and go back to planning the bike trip?” Shelly was exasperated.

“Okay, just be careful. Like I said I don’t like this. Something is not right.” Summer said.

Shelly shook her head, sighed and said. “Whatever. So what do you want to bring for lunch on Saturday?” Shelly happened to look up and then looked down quickly, covering her eyes then said, “Oh no she saw me looking. Now she is headed this way.”

Summer looked up, saw Laura Webb headed toward them and sighed. “I don’t know why she won’t leave us alone. She knows we don’t want her around, and no matter what she does, we just ignore her.” Summers voice sounded exasperated.

“Her daddy is the sheriff, that’s why.” Shelly answered, causing both girls to giggle.

Laura pushed Summer’s lunch to the side and set her tray where it had been, but Summer was able to catch her lunch before it could slide off the table. She looked at Laura a moment then turned her back on her and continued to talk to Shelly. Laura asked in a whiney annoying voice, “Hey, I was wondering are you two queer? I mean a retard and a geek queer for each other?” When neither responded, Laura grabbed Summer’s sweater and said, “hey queer girl, I asked you a question.” Summer looked at her again and started laughing. Laura let go of Summer’s sweater and shrilly said “Don’t laugh at me geek. You frigging queer. You hot for me or something?”

Summer kept laughing. She felt pity for Laura. Since kindergarten Laura had hated Summer and since the third grade had tried, unsuccessfully, to make Summer and Shelly hate each other. Summer’s laughter turned to a snorting laugh, and soon Shelly was laughing too.

Laura looked at Shelly. “Hey retard, you want to know something? I hear Eric asked you to go out tonight. He’s hot for you. I don’t know why. He says he likes fat retarded girls. He says he doesn’t care that you can’t talk right, He says talking isn’t what he wants your mouth for anyway. He has a big one, you know what I mean? He would do the deed to you if you just asked him.”

This comment caused both Shelly and Summer to stop laughing. Summer said, “You are a nasty person. Just because you do it with all the guys doesn’t mean everyone wants to be a slut. You know that guys don’t like you because of who you are, they only like you because you do it. Sluts get pregnant Are you pregnant yet? Or get diseases and die. What kind of diseases do you have now?” Summer was impassive, almost as if the answer made no difference, and to Summer, it really didn’t. It was a way to counter the crude and vulgar things Laura had said. Shelly snickered.

While Laura sat there with her mouth hanging open from the comments she heard, Summer picked up a bologna sandwich, pulled the top slice of bread off and pushed it into the Laura’s face. Then both Summer and Shelly chortled with delight as it fell off leaving a globby white mess of mayonnaise on Laura’s face.

Laura, looked aghast, grabbed a napkin and wiped her face. “You will learn you queer creeps. You will get yours!” She picked up her lunch tray and stomped off. Shelly soon forgot this incidence, as others in the past had been. But it left Summer with a vague sense of impending disaster.

It did not seemed to bother Shelley, and although Summer noticed Laura huddled on the other side of the cafeteria with several boys while talking and pointing towards the two girls, she pushed it to the back of her mind. Summer and Shelly were too busy talking about cats, especially Rainbow, and making plans for an adventure of a bike riding trip for the weekend. Adventure was a good name for a bike trip.





As Summer’s thoughts came back to the restroom, she looked at her hand. It was covered with red lipstick where she had smeared the crude words. Summer looked at it for a minute and felt a scalding bitterness for the way she had been treated. She wondered how things would be different, if she had stood up for herself from the beginning. It was easier to just avoid and pretend and to take the blame for things she did not do. the outside door opened and she heard two girls walk in. One walked to the stall Summer was hiding in, rattled the door, then moved on to the next one. The sounds of the girls using the restroom came though and caused more gurgling in the pipes, but above that sound was the talking.

“Well, anyway, like I was saying, she said they raped her, but they are all saying she asked them to do it. The police are investigating, but it looks like there isn’t any real evidence and with all of them saying the same thing, nothing is going to happen.” One voice was heard saying.

“I don’t know how she can get away with saying they raped her, everyone knows she liked Eric and was always trying to talk to him and chasing him. I think she did ask for it so he would pay attention to her.” The other girl said.

The sound of the flushing toilet drowned out the first part of the sentence, but Summer heard the first voice say “glad Laura told the police about what Shelly said to Eric or they would be in trouble.” The two girls washed their hands while continuing to talk and then left.

Summer felt her face flush and her hair seemed to get hot as her anger built. She knew Shelly had not asked for it and it made her mad to think others believed that Shelly had.

To distract herself from her anger, Summer looked at her hand again, then wiped it on her white blouse, leaving a mark that looked like a stain of blood…





Summer finished eating what she wanted of the scrambled eggs and bacon Mama had fixed for her breakfast, just before going somewhere with Daddy and leaving her in the care of her Jimmy. She picked up the cat food bowl and scrapped what was left into it. Her kitty Rainbow, was going to be in hog heaven today. He loved eggs. Summer added some dried cat food, a can of salmon delight cat food and then topped it all off with cheese. Oh yea today was a special day. Shelly was coming over, they were going to ride their bikes to the park. They had planned it all week. It was just the second time Mama had allowed her to ride anywhere but on the street they lived in. Yes indeed a special day. At 14, Summer felt she should get more freedom, and cherished it when Mama allowed her to go and do things.

Being very careful not to spill the bowl, Summer turned off the security alarm and opened the door. “Here Kitty Kitty Kitty” the call Summer used every day began. Lately Rainbow had wanted to stay out at night, Summer didn’t like it, but Daddy had said that Rainbow probably had a girl cat friend somewhere. This morning there was no response to Summers call. A nagging concern began in Summers mind, usually she was tripping over Rainbow by the time she opened the door. “Kitty Kitty Kitty” Summer called again, as she walked under the carport to where she usually set the cat food bowl. Still no Rainbow.

Summer set the bowl down. “Here Kitty Kitty Kitty” Her voice sounded desperate now. Her cat was not answering. He always answered. Summer walked out of the car port into the back yard, saw Rainbow and shrieked. His fur was all matted and bloody and his head was gone. She screamed again.

Jimmy came running out in a panic, wearing just his boxers “Summer! Summer are you alright?” Summer kept screaming and pointed to her cat. “Oh my God!” He grabbed her, hugged her then helped her into the house, still screaming. Jimmy just held her in a hug until she calmed down some. When she was able to, they went out and buried Rainbow, and Jimmy promised that when they found the head, they would bury it too. He told Summer “It’s okay, it just means there is a furry angel in heaven waiting for you.”

Summer kept crying, deep silent sobs, making small hiccupping sounds from deep inside her. “Someone killed Rainbow, why would they kill Rainbow?” Her tears started again, a torrential deluge as the inner agony burned inside her. Summer wrapped herself tighter in the blanket as Jimmy looked on helplessly. “I have got to call Shelly. I have got to tell her.”

Jimmy hung up the phone, “Still no answer Summer, maybe she is on her way here?” Summer sat wrapped in a blanket and shook her head, knowing Shelly had said she would call before coming over, to let Summer know what she had for lunch, so they could plan what else to take with them. No, Shelly wasn’t on her way over. Something was wrong. Something as bad as what had happened to her Rainbow. “We can go over there if you want to.” Summer pulled the blanket tighter around herself and shook her head, she didn’t want to go, she didn’t want to know. “Come on Summer, I’ll drive you there. You will see it is alright, and they just aren’t awake yet.”

Gradually Jimmy coaxed her into his truck. When they got to Shelly’s house, he realized it was a mistake. Blue and red lights blinked from the ambulance and two police cars in the front yard. Summer didn’t make a sound, just covered her mouth as if to hold sound inside. Summer refused to get out; she was so scared Shelly was dead. Jimmy got out to talk to Shelly’s mother and the police.

When he returned to the truck he said “Shelly is okay Summer, she isn’t dead.” Summer started crying with relief and started to get out of the truck. Jimmy stopped her. “Summer, some boys raped her.” He struggled with the words. “They are taking her to the hospital, because it hurt her so bad.”

Looking at Jimmy, Summer got out of the truck and ran to the ambulance, at first the white coated paramedic refused to let her in, but when Shelly mumbled “Summer,” he did.

Summer cried and hugged her friend, even though Shelly was heavily sedated. “I love you Shelly, I love you. You will be my best friend forever.” Her voice was full of tears while her eyes overflowed with them.

As the ambulance, with lights flashing and siren’s claxon screaming took Shelly and her mother away, Summer watched and sat as close to Jimmy in the truck as she could. “Why did they do that to Shelly? She said she was going to wait until she was married. Why?” Summer asked.

“I don’t know Summer. It is hard to explain things sometimes. There are bad people in the world, who do bad things. I don’t understand why.” It was a struggle for Jimmy to explain, something so unexplainable. Summer accepted the non-explanation and sat quietly, with her face tear-streaked, no longer able to cry.

When they got home, both were shocked to see Rainbows head sitting on the railing of the front porch. The red rust blood was staining the white paint. Jimmy told her. “Go inside I will take care of it.”

Summer disobeyed and went to the cat head, kissed it and said “I love you Rainbow, You are my best Kitty friend forever.” She handed the head to Jimmy and walked inside.

As soon as she opened the door the phone rang, Summer picked it up and heard Laura’s voice “I know you were there, because I saw you. Hey your cat was stupid, it bit me. I think it had rabies or something. Did you like what happened to the retard? Well my guy friends and me took care of your queer retarded friend! Hey she wanted it so maybe she wasn’t so queer for you after all. She said she didn’t but by the time the last one was finished she was enjoying it. Ciao…oh hey queer geek you are next.” Then the sound of laughter as the phone was hung up. Summer made no sound, but walked to her room and lay on the bed. Jimmy’s attempts to talk to her did not pierce the shell of despondency she had around her, until finally Summer fell asleep, dreamless. Despondency was a good name for this feeling.





Summer’s legs hurt from the position she was holding on top of the toilet in the stall, but she did not put her feet down. Laura Webb would be coming into the restroom soon. Summer knew it. Laura always came into the restroom at the same time. Summer had learned Laura’s routine. It was self defense to know it, by knowing where Laura was at all times, it was easier to avoid her. Summer no longer wanted to avoid Laura. Today would be the day. No more could Laura be allowed to continue to hurt those around her. Summer was going to stop Laura.

Revenge has many meanings, but the best one was the act of taking vengeance for injuries or wrong, an opportunity to retaliate. Summer was going to take the opportunity to retaliate for her best friend, because her best friend could not do it herself. Laura and her gang of thugs had seen to that. The images in her mind had stopped. Summer smiled. The time was close.

The outside door opened. It was her, Laura Webb. Inside the restroom, alone, except for Summer. Summer waited until Laura went into one of the stalls and then she got off the toilet and opened the door. The anticipation was building. Laura would hurt no one again. Especially not Summer. Summer was patient. Her time for vengeance was here.

As Summer stood in the middle of the restroom, The door of the stall opened, Laura stepped out, and as soon as she saw Summer she laughed. “Hey queer geek! What do you want?” Summer smiled but didn’t have to say a word. Laura would learn. Gutting knife was a good name for a tool of revenge.