Night and Day

The deep darkness before dawn is seeping into my world; the brisk air passing through the open window embracing the morning. Just one of the brief moments before the world awakens once more, one of the brief moments in which everything can change, or stay exactly the same. With blankets surrounding me, and my mind shaking off the burdens of dreamland, thinking of only the dwindling electricity brought about by my previous slumber. With my breathing even and deep, invigorating my mind into turmoil with each inhale. A simple question coming to the forefront of my mind: How did I get here? No, not the physicality of my warm bed, but the place in my life in which I have no idea what comes next. Through it all, there’s one thing that keeps coming back within my thoughts: you. It was the last thing I expected to think of, but here you are again.

My heart breaks knowing that we drifted apart accompanied with that feeling that nothing will ever be like what we had before. The fire that you built within my soul, that I once thought was extinguished, is being rekindled. It was difficult to watch you walk away from me, from the familiarity that we shared. It was not the most difficult moment of my life; I could’ve lived without you. It was a time we shared, but it is a time that is now in the past and a time, that I know should’ve stayed there. And in all the uncertain things of my life, my career, my residence, my friends, my significant others, you were the most obscure thing to appear. Just the mere thought of you circling within my mind put a halt to all other things, sent a shiver up my spine, and instilled goose bumps all over my entire body. I can’t help but wonder what brings you back to me? You were gone for so long but now here you are again. I question your mysterious intentions. Why are you here? What is your purpose? Why must you torture me this way? I can’t help but feel scared to get close to you again and hold on with all that I have, in fear I’ll have to watch you walk away once again.

The chill of morning and the lightening of the sky remind me that reality is rapidly approaching as blankets ruffle, alarms sound, and the smell of coffee and pancakes begin to fill the air. With the encompassing warmth of daylight along comes the sharp reality that hides in the dark eclipse of dreamland. I let myself sink further into my comforting and tepid swaddle of sheets as the pinks, and oranges, and yellows invade the Eastern sky, marching to fight their battle anew. My thoughts and body language shift so easily into the attraction between us, as simply as the burning sun overtakes the piercing moon. You overtake my mind and my body, I’m entranced by you. The sound of your voice, the musk of your cologne filling the air around you, the confident strut you carry with each step you take, each and every detail about you draws me in, bringing me close; creating an illustration for you to watch as I fall so fast, and heart-breakingly slow for you. Just as the dark night falls to the rising sun.

The state of endearment we always seem to find ourselves in always reminds me of the battle between the haunting moon and the wild sun. They spend so much time away from each other, every day, and every night. In those few moments where everything can change or stay exactly the same, they meet again. In the moments of twilight and dawn the two passionate entities wage a consistent battle. They fight so vigorously hoping for everything to change, and for the outcome not to end as they know, only for their hopes to fall and the vicious cycle to be repeated once more. They give all they have for the simple opportunity to fail, or gain all they’ve ever wanted. Through the uncertain elements of the ceasing war that is day and night, the only guarantee they have is that they will fight once more, and that they will meet again. Through all the pain and suffering they create for each other they hold a mutual respect, a mutual companionship, and a fleeting but passionate moment of fortifying love.