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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1682876-A-Christmas-Tale-Sleighing-Santa-Ch-3
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by Lyndo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1682876
The third chapter of the satirical look at the residents of the North Pole.
Chapter Three
The Continuation

“So besides almost getting blown up, what else happened today”, asked Mrs Klaus as she lay in bed unable to sleep, “Will you be able to deliver all the presents in time for Christmas.” Santa who had dozed off a couple of hours ago woke gibbering and disorientated, “What happened, where am I, who are you, who am I, is there another intruder”, Santa Spluttered like he had done only a few hours ago, “Oh, it’s only you Mrs Klaus, I’m awfully jittery these days, but must you wake me it’s four in the morning and I was having the most lovely dream where every other living thing on this planet died except for me, I was the sole survivor of Earth and I finally got to be alone in this rancid world that we live in”, Santa stopped talking to look at the expression on his wife’s face, “Oh and you survived to”, he concluded hurriedly and laid back down, “So what’s on your mind.”
“I was just wondering if you think you will be able to deliver the presents on time”, asked Mrs Klaus for a second time. Santa looked out through his window up at the stars and at Mars where he planned to go after he had at last trained his reindeer to travel at such an altitude, “Yes I’m fairly sure I will be able to get rid of the presents on time”, answered Santa, “as long as I have the right reindeer and as long as I manage to live through the day, speaking of reindeer I hired a new one today; the reindeer that saved my life”. Mrs Klaus sat up in bed, “The one that saved your life”, she gasped, “What’s its name.”
“I don’t know its name; I just know that he asked me if he could be one of my reindeer so he would be able to keep an eye on me during the day.
“Well that’s good isn’t it?” asked Mrs Klaus, “That means that he can keep an eye on you for me”.
“I don’t need someone to take care of me,” Santa said and then reassessed that statement, “Well… maybe… but it doesn’t matter any way; as long as he passes reindeer school. Hopefully he doesn’t have a massive hangover”. Santa finished jokingly.

“Ohh, I’ve got a massive hangover,” moaned Rudolph as he sat up from the barroom floor, “Have I been here all night”.
“Yes you have,” said the bartender as he came through the entrance to the bar and flipped the sign saying: Sorry we’re closed, to the side saying: Come in we’re open. “I couldn’t be bothered carrying you out or waking you up or anything so I just left you there. Did you have a good sleep?” Rudolph staggered to his feet, “Wha… oh no, what time is it?”
The bartender looked at his watch “Eight, fifty-five”
“Aaahh, I’ve got reindeer school, I’m going to be late, it’s at nine o, clock, I’m going to be late”, said Rudolph as he ran to the door, “Wait a minute; why are you opening at eight, fifty-five, this is a bar”.
“Someone’s gotta cater to the morning drunks”.

Warren drummed his fingers on the head of one of his robotic reindeer impatiently, “Where is that blasted reindeer, I’ve been waiting here for nearly,” he looked at his watch, “five minutes, now he’s really making me annoyed, he wasn’t at his stable so I came here and now he’s taking ages to come out.” Warren was about to give up and leave when he saw a bartender lead out a slumped over Rudolph. “Where have you been?” Warren shouted shocking Rudolph’s currently sensitive ears. “Were have you been? I’ve been waiting…” he looked at his watch again, “…six minutes”. Rudolph was about to give Warren an answer when Warren pulled off the black sheet that had been covering the eight robotic, red-eyed reindeer. “Rudolph look at my beauties, I made them all by myself in less than four hours, and they still work wonderfully, they flew me all the way over here from my house in two minutes.” Rudolph stared at the robots sharp sword-like horns, the robots did look quite scary; there snarling mouths that weren’t made to open, their thick, black-metal bodies and their large round hooves which at the time were smoking. Warren got out a bottle of shoe-shine and started shining the robots and went on. “So tonight while Santa’s giving out his toys I’ll follow him and when he’s passing over the Pacific I’ll knock him out of the air, where he and all of his reindeer will drown and never be seen again. Nobody will suspect a thing,” he sighed, “but nobody will know of the brilliant mind that brought on Santa’s death; it’s a shame actually, all that work, but it’s for the best because then I’ll be able to take over Santa’s reins and give those kiddies the toys they really want; and with you by side,” he stopped shining the robots to look at Rudolph’s response but Rudolph was unresponsive, he just waited to hear more of this plan. “But Rudolph,” continued Warren, “I’m gonna need your help, tonight is going to be incredibly foggy, which of course is going to help with my plan as I have installed glowing eyes on my reindeer but Santa might not even be able to go tonight unless someone maybe with a glowing nose, for example, guides his way. I’m sorry I had to poison you to get your red nose but it was for the best of the mission; you will guide Santa somewhere above the Pacific Ocean, at the coordinates I give you and the rest is me; you won’t even have to get your hooves dirty.”
“Are you saying you want me to gain the trust of Santa and then lead him into the middle of the Pacific; to his death?
“That is exactly what I’m saying; Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide his sleigh tonight.”
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