Have a Seat

"- Come, Mrs. Fidditch, let me invite you for a cup of tea.
- Oh, that's really kind of you, dear, but please say 'allow me to invite you,' it's much more polite.
- Certainly, Mrs. Fidditch. What do you say then?
- Very well, thank you but I seriously do not understand the straightforward language of this new generation. Don't you feel it a little rude, my dear, to simply ask me this question in such a manner?
- I don't really see rudeness here, Mrs. Fidditch, but you certainly must be right.
- You don't have to simply agree with me on every point if you do not have the same opinion, my dear. That is also as impolite as continuously disagreeing.
- Absolutely. Oh, look, Mrs. Fidditch, I believe this is the best place in the garden to sit.
- My dear, those chairs do look quite strange to me. Are they this year's fashion?
- Mrs. Fidditch, please, I don't think that criticizing one's property is one of the polite things to do.
- I'm sorry!?
- Please, Mrs. Fidditch, just sit down. I have a feeling that once you sat down everything will be much calmer.
- I don't quite understand you, my dear. And I don't find these chairs suitable for sitting.
- You will sit down, Mrs. Fidditch. Sit in that chair, I say! *pushing Mrs. Fiddtich through the chair with the hole in it*
Right. Are we feeling better now? I certainly do feel much better.

PICTURE: http://jahsi.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2rpvr5