The Abyss

Standing on the edge of this quiet abyss I am reminded of you. This, the place where we first met, first touched, and under the cover of darkness, the place we first kissed. It's been so long that I doubt you would even remember the night, but it is still etched in my memory. That summer shaped my entire life. It gave spring to my step and seemed to infuse the very air around me with life. That summer you pulled me back from the edge of this cliff; both literally and figuratively. Every wrong in my life suddenly disappeared when we sat close and rested our weary heads upon each other's shoulders. But now, you are gone, ripped from my life just as surely as you have been taken from this world altogether. Our summer lives on only in my memory. Here, among family and friends I feel alone. Surrounded by hundreds of people who celebrate your life by telling stories I find myself silent. They don't know why I am here, and once again I begin to cry without sense, all I know is of the enormous hole in my heart. I find myself escaping out a side door, running from the truth, the sorrow, and the overwhelming pain. I don't remember where or how I got here, but here I am, standing once again by this abyss. This time however, there is no one to pull me back and wrap me in a warm embrace. I am here, facing this daunting world alone, the one person who could have saved me is gone, and I live on. I have no reason to cry, or so they all think. They don't know what we shared, and now, I cannot tell them. They would look badly upon you in death for your decisions in life, and I cannot bear to do that to your memory. I love you with all of my heart, but it will not be worn on my sleeve. "My heart dies with you, it was yours from the start, and it is yours until the end." I tell you, as I pitifully sob next to our abyss.