the house

(This is my first attempt to write something. Any comments or pointers would be appreciated! It doesn't live up to the keyword tags yet,but the next installment DEFINATLY will !) My uncle was a hermit. Ok, I hated that,but now that I'm 29 I know it's true. When I was a kid, Unc was the coolest person on the whole planet. Unc lived alone way down in southeast oklahoma. Hill country, the locals called it. Rugged, rough, snakey and sparsely inhabited it was paradise for a troublesum kid boy to visit. Here, Uncle Ed raised goats, chickens, and a small herd of cows. When school would let out for summer, my parents shipped me off like I had the plague so they could continue their hollywood lifestyle. I don't know who's the most shallow, movie stars or my parents! I always loved my summers there. Unc taught me how to fish and hunt then he just turned me loose on the mountain! The only requirement was I always had to take one of the dogs. Huge animals they were, giant mixed breed, mostly great dane I'd guess. When I met them on my first trip down here they scared the crap outta me! Just imagine- skinny city boy, 130 lbs. Never been in the woods, meets DOG, over 200 lbs, paws bigger than my hands, teeth like daggers, and spotted coat like camouflage!! And smart, spooky smart! Without those dogs, Unc couldn't have kept the predators from wiping out every piece of livestock he had. Turns out they became my best friends in the whole world! I' d been going to Unc's place for several summers when I finally screwed up. Stepped on the biggest damn copperhead snake in the woods! I was 4 or 5 miles down the mountain and knew I'd fucked up bad and might never make it back to the cabin, much less the 40 miles to the hospital! Scared and clumsy, trying to get that boot unlaced, I heard Unc's firm command in my mind, " Lay down and be calm!" Not even questioning how unc got there so fast, I obeyed. Suddenly a huge furry rump sat on my belly and pinned me to the ground! With a ripping sound, I felt my boot coming off. Then a tourniquet going around my leg and warm wet suction pulling the poison out of the bite. Groggy and sick from what couldn't be got out, I never realized I was with no one but....... A dog. And then I passed out. Waking up in the hospital, I only had dim memories of what happend after the bite. Unc hovered over me asking was I all right? Was I ok? "I'm ok Unc" was all I could croak out "take me home". "He's responding well to the anti-venom. I don't see why you couldn't " I heard a doctor say. On the way back to Unc's cabin, he told me how much I scared him when that dog brought me home. "Dog brought me home? But I heard you there Unc !" With a funny look he told me "it musta been the poison makin ya hear things" and changed the subject. Well that was weird! Uncs been acting kinda strange since the snake bite thing and I don't know what to make of it. I think he's gonna send me home early!
17 years. That's a long time to miss somebody. I was only 12 when all that happend. And I still miss that old coot! I mean, I didn't WANT to get bit ! So why send me home and suddenly decide his place was too dangerous to have a kid around? My parents agreed with Unc and never let me go back. For years I cried about that! Guess I outgrew the pain,but I always missed the hill country. "Ya never know what ya gonna find in them hills" Unc would say send me out hunting with a dog. But I'll never hear that again. Unc's dead. A month before my 30 th. birthday, a letter from some hillbilly lawyer in Antlers showed up at Dads house. Addressed to me and official looking, dad called me at work to tell me about it. I stopped by that evening and he and I read it together. Seems as though Unc never forgot about me. He wrote a wiil naming me as sole inheritor!!!" ME? Why? After the years of heartache, all I get is a " I'm dead and u can have my junk " kinda letter? Bullshit!!! I don't get it dad. Why did he do this? " Son, you and I are the only living relatives. You ought to at least go check it out." Dad said. I could see a tear in his eyes. "This means there's only the two of us since you never married yet"Ok pop, I'll take my vacation down there" as far as I was concerned, Mr. Hillbilly lawyer could sell it and pocket the money! But I could really use that cash! So I went. In Antlers,godforsaken Oklahoma, I walked from the bus stop to the lawyers office. 5 whole minutes to figure out what to do. Big city, huh? Once there a cute little secretary introduced me to Bill, the lawyer. Bill?! How appropriate! He shook my hand and we got down to business. "Your uncle wanted you to have this property. I can't imagine why, a city boy like you , would be interested in rocks and snakes and scrub covered land like that?" Okaaay, I see where I stand with this guy! I said "Look fella I don't give a damn about the place. Just gimme the money its worth and I'll be gone." I wish I could boy! But them papers is made out in your name! And Edward insisted I leave 'em at the house. I'll take you up there, lemme git my car." A lot musta changed in 17 years, I don't remember cars getting" up there"! And a LAWYER just called Unc EDWARD ! I knew Ed was short for something, but EDWARD? On the way up there, Mr. Bill kept trying to get me to name a price. I got to thinking he's gonna screw me on buying Unc's place and told him I'd hafta talk to the real estate people first. He got real cold to me after that! Where the pavement ends and Unc's trail up starts, he and I had built a metal gate. Old and rusty, with a shiny new lock and chain, it seemed to odd. Last I saw it, it was still new and Unc never would close it. "Here's the key" Bill said. I got out to open it and realized its a combo, not key! "Hey Bill ! I turned and saw the big caddy quietly and swiftly backing away! " YOU PRICK!! " I yelled at the sneaky basterd. Abandoned at the gate with a 3 hour walk up hill in the woods I thought " can't get worse! " Then I heard " HEY ! Who the fuck are you and what you doing out here?" Oh crap! Pot farmers! Unc told he had to throw 'em off the mountain every spring and they was mean!! But that was a girls voice! Turning, I saw an angel with a .22 rifle pointing at me from the other side of the gate! She was a tall and healthy blond girl, 25 ish , and beautiful like only clean country living can make 'em. And pointing Unc's old squirrel gun at my nose! Did I mention that? "Well, I'm the new owner! Who are you?" Never lowering the gun, she approached and said"I get a lot of nuts out here claiming stupid shit like that! Now state your business!" Okay the sexiest woman in the worlds got a gun pointed at me and she wants to talk business? Think fast!! "I used to come out here every summer! Unc taught me hunting and fishing here! I've roamed all over these hills! Hell, I nearly died up there! " Calmer now, she asked"died? What happend?" " Copper heads don't like getting stepped on" "oh ya? Show me the scar!" I sat down and pulled my shoe & sock off and held up my foot. Looking at the two small white dots she said" forgive me please, there are so many nuts coming out here nowdays it ain't even funny no more. " I put my stuff back on and she extended a hand to help me up. Much to my supprize, she easily lifted me to my feet! "Well what you gonna do with the place? Never mind, just come on up! We got so much to talk about! Ed told me not to talk to nobody but you! " Bubbling with excitement now, she seemed to radiate beauty and sexuality. I couldn't do anything but follow in her wake. "Where's the pickup truck?" I stuttered " up at the home. Why? It don't run anymore." She answered " you mean I gotta walk all the way up? That took 3 hrs when I was young! And it'll be dark soon!" "Umm how about my horse? I can take the shortcut." She said. "Shortcut? aren't we gonna ride double?" I asked with a grin. "Don't you wish! " Laughing, she explained" my pony is kinda small and I don't want to stress her with a heavy load going uphill. She's very pleasant to ride and smart too! You take her and I'll meet yall at the top". ( all this came from my cracked little brain! Any resemblance to stories or books or other peoples work is purely unintentional.)
(Part 2 is going to get VERY graphic and will be explicitly sexual!)