Caught in a Fire

There are times when a person can be really unemotional to actions. That the light can be unlite to everything. I know the flame within me is completely out. I dont want to get hurt and I dont want to be completely emotional either. I want to be the person I use to be. That person was who I was. The me now is tires, weiry, emotionally stressed, causious and half alone. The times I want to cry to get my emotions to run threw is now undenyablly rage. I am quick to get mad and angry rather than walk away and be alm. What is the sense of calm? In this place I am in, calmness is nonexistant. You have to be tough and out spoken, or clearly almost heartless. I just want to go places where I really know someone and just let it alll out. To a person, I know I trust and wont care what I say, that they still love me no matter what. Regardless if I was right or wrong. I take being weak. Im not that soft either. I cant stand laziness, i hate excuses, i loath arguments and i really really disgust people who think they are constantly being attacked. Its pathetic. Someitmes I think that i am just being mean when i talk about poeple flaws to them face to face but sometimes they need to just realize that al least we care enough  to say it to there face. My case is difference here. People talk out of there behinds and Im done. Love me or hate me, Im me now. Ive lost site on who i am and now its completely screwed up. Good luck me, cause I cant even help myself on these days.