I'm So Sorry I Can't Stop For You pt.1

"No no no, this can't be happening not again!" I look down and my hands are dripping crimson. A part of my tortured heart that's slowly shrinking wants me to stay and finally turn myself in, but the other stronger part of me utters one word...Run

My feet fly across the shining cracked pavement, it's been raining for an hour now...perfect for washing away evidence...I mean...I don't even know what I mean, or where I'm going, I just want her to shut up and leave me alone.

Then I see it, the Thymes, that's where we...er, I'm going to wash this all off and get them off of my trail. I run straight into the murky river never slowing down...until I fall, fall to my knees a few yards from the bank.

I look down and my hands under the surface of the water and watch the blood slowly dissolve away as dirt comes to take it's place. It's like it never happened...again.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I cry out at the seemingly endless night. "Why can't you leave me alone?...This isn't who I am, who I want to be anymore..." I wept covering my face with my once bloody hands.

"Because you need me now...it's too late for us both." The voice I'd grown to hate replied in a sickly whisper.

The worst part about it was I knew she was right...



I sat in the gritty water of the Thymes crying until I heard the sirens. The tears immediately stopped flowing and something or rather someone took control of everything.

I’ve got to get us out of here, that twit could’ve gotten us killed with all that crying crap. You’d think after all this time she would know that you’ve got to clean up the mess you’ve made before you can even think about relaxing and much less crying…So that’s what I did. I got us up and drug us out of the murky disgusting Thyme water, man I wish there was somewhere else we could clean off, but dirty water is the best water to hide things in. I then crept us along a stone wall covered in vines into a dark alley way where I stripped us down to naught but our knickers. I walked us over to the third metal rubbish bin on the left hand side reaching inside and getting the knap-sack I so cleverly remembered before we left. Inside were clothes, which I put on us. I took the money out of the bag, put the wet bloody clothes back inside it and walked back to the river where I tossed a few river rocks into the bottom of the sack and heaved it straight into the middle of the raging current.

“Please, please just take me home, I just want to be home now.” My screams finally bubbling to the surface.

“Wait you impatient little…I have to fix what you almost broke tonight, I’ll take you home in a minute.” I growled back at the meek voice as it slipped back to the darkness I’d trained it for. I waited for a response, when one didn’t come I breathed a sigh of relief and began the trek home. I had to walk past the body just to see what had happened so far. I took a back road past a closed bakery that still smell like fresh bread and a fish market that smelled as well. Three left turns later I had brought us there, no one had found her yet, and she was just lying there with her eyes staring aimlessly into her forever night.

I knelt down next to the body the rain dripping off of our black hair. Thankfully the heavy rain earlier had washed away most of the blood and fingerprints because this was the sloppiest job so far. I had to fight her more than usual to get this one done. I took us closer to her wounds and I could see that my slash marks in the girl’s abdomen created words I had never intended us to write.

“Please Help Me”

It was etched into the girl’s flesh, there wasn’t a lot I could do now…that girl was gonna get it later. I did my best to clean up our mess, I found the knife SHE’D dropped, and thankfully the rain had already washed away our footprints and fingerprints for I was positive she hadn’t thought of that with her clever little message. I brushed out the dead girl’s thick blonde hair to get rid of any evidence clinging to it, and the left her.

A few streets over I buried the knife we’d used in the flower bed in front of a butcher’s shop…ironic don’t you think?

Next stop home, I ran us the rest of the way because it wasn’t long before the body was found and then the Husband would be called. I told her when she decided to get married to him it was a bad idea, that she should not should NOT get married to the head of Scotland Yard, but she was stronger then still able to drown me out. But then Blayne…well she’s weaker now and I’m here to protect us like the Husband never did.

I finally ran us home to the two story cottage with the little red door. It was a fixer upper alright, I told her that this house was too much work for us, but did she listen to me at the time no…she listened to him…the husband. Well things are changing now, but I still have to get us inside without him waking up. I took us around to the birch tree on the side of the house that grew really near our bedroom window. I got us to begin to climb it, but half way up she resisted me, her old fear of heights practically causing us to plummet to our possible deaths, but I saved us, I saved us like I have always saved us. We climbed the rest of the way, all the way out to the closest branch to the window. I could feel her fear quiver in our heart when I began stepping across the divide from the tree to the window, she was trembling. I yet again had to be the strong one, had to hold us together. I got us across into the room silently. Then I took us into the bathroom, took off our wet clothes, and tried my best to dry our sopping wet hair. I then cleverly flushed the toilet hoping that the husband will think that we merely got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and nothing else. Finally I crept us across the cold hard wood floor and gently climbed into bed next to the still sleeping husband. Once she saw him was when she fought me the most, she want to tell him everything we did, turn us in. She taught he started looking tired since I had come back, just because Scotland Yard can’t do its job. Well I wasn’t about to let that happened I reined her back in and let us drift into a deep slumber.

After I had been asleep for around an hour I could feel her grip on me loosening, I was able to claw my way to the surface of the darkness and breath. I still wasn’t able to wake up, I was too tired for that but I was back in control of my body so I let it completely collapse and began to softly weep in my sleep praying that I wouldn’t wake up my husband, who I knew was going to have a long day ahead at that crime scene, and I wished then more than ever that I could tell him that I was so sorry, I’ve tried to stop for him…







I felt him stir next to me, and I tried to stifle my sobs but they just kept coming. Finally my sobs became so much that they woke him and he rolled over to face me. I tried rolling over so he couldn’t see my face, but it was too late for that.

“Baby, what is it? What’s the matter?” He asked me taking my face gently in his hands using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. I wanted to tell him everything, about tonight, about all the other nights, and I was going to but she grabbed my throat. So all I could do was bite my lip and shake my head.

“Iris, is this because of the killings, because this isn’t the first time I’ve heard you crying at night, and mumbling in your sleep like you are talking to someone. I am so sorry you’re scared, I’m terrified too, especially when that monster is going after the wives of the people I work with, but you know I would never, ever let anything happen to you, right?” He spoke so gently and softly like he was talking to a frightened child, and when I looked into his green eyes I knew he really wouldn’t ever let anything happen to me, but I know something was going to have to happen to me, to happen to her.

“You know what? With all this craziness maybe you should go stay with your mother for a little while, just to be safe…”

“No…” She replied too hastily, “I just don’t think I could bear to be without you. I’m so scared Liam…” I wrapped my arms around his neck just to feel him nearer to me. He rubbed my back tenderly like he could block out all the hate in the world, but what he didn’t realize was it was inside of me. I had control now she was still back in the dark, if ever there was a time to tell him I had to do it now, while I still had the chance.

“Liam I…” RINGRING “Liam there’s something I…” RINGRING

“Hang on one second baby it’s work…Hello? No, that can’t be, but we…Ok I’ll be there in a…It says what?...I’m on my way…Bye” Liam hung up the phone and looked back at me guiltily running his fingers through his chocolate brown hair.

“It’s another Scotland Yard wife. I have to get there as soon as possible the rain has already done so much…I am so sorry…” He looked so tired and I wished I could fix it for him.

“It’s ok I understand. I’ll be here when you get back.” I said wiping my tears and putting on a ‘brave face’.

“I’ll protect you I promise.” He told me as he finished slipping on his shirt and grabbed his jacket off the coat hanger, “I love you more than life.” He whispered slipping his hat over his unruly curls.

“I love you stronger than death.” I breathed back sinking into the pillows exhausted, and then the door shut and he was gone, and I was alone again with her…



I was so exhausted I didn't even get out of the bed because I knew she would fight me the entire way. I decided to just fall back into the bed and sleep, and pray that she would disappear...this time for good. As I slept I dreamt of the first time she came to me, this evil counter part of mine...





I'm eight years old again and I'm in my bed almost asleep, it's a Thursday...I am clutching my stuffed bunny rabbit praying it won't happen again tonight. The knob to my dark bedroom creaks as it's turned slowly.

"Mommy...please mommy..." I whisper into the darkness.

A tiny sliver of dim light creeps across the floor as my white door opens ever so slightly

"Iris...hey baby...it's Daddy" His lips drip sweetness like poisoned cough syrup as he inches in through the door.

"Please daddy...It still hurts..." I cry barely making any noise at all.

"Oh baby, baby, daddy just wants to talk to you for a little bit. Daddy just wants to talk to you...and you don't even have to say anything, don't say anything at all!" he threatens me in a breath naught but a whisper.

I can hear his heavy boots shuffle across my pink carpet...I can also hear him undo the belt buckle he always wore, it is the head of a raging bull, a large bull with red eyes, that bull...

I feel his huge hands on my quilt and can feel his hot alcohol breath on my neck as his lips graze my ear.

"Remember what I told you Iris, you make one noise, or even mention this to mommy I will tell her what you did to her favorite vase...and that will hurt more than this does." I turn my head so he won't know I'm crying again.

I can feel the man who is my father moving to be on top of me in a way that won't crush me, but it still hurts. Then I hear it, for the first time I hear it the rough female voice the billows from deep inside my stomach but has no part of me in it.

"What if you never had to go through this again? Let me take your place, let me protect us..." and I did, I gave myself over to her...





I shot up in bed sweating and gasping for breath. How could I have been so weak? How could I have invited that...thing...into this world? Everything that has happened...all those officers wives...all five of them...their blood is all on my hands.

"That wasn't your fault, they deserved it, they let him die...they let Blayne die..." Her voice is poison inside of me that I can't syphon out.

"Shut up you LIAR...They didn't kill Blayne...it...it was an accident..." I screamed at her, screamed at myself.

"Iris, I care about us more than anyone else. Who saved us from the bad man all those years ago? Who was strong enough for the both of us? Who stayed with you until that bad man Finally died? ME I did; and for what? I did it to protect US!" She began to get angry with me but I don't care, not anymore. I can't sleep, I barely eat and it is all because of her and the blood she has caused this shell of a body of mine to spill. I thought I had gotten rid of her for good when my father died sixteen years ago, of cancer in his liver, when her voice just got quieter and quieter until finally I couldn't even hear it anymore, but a year ago when Blayne...well she came back stronger than she had ever been, or maybe I was just weaker but now it's too late to do anything about it...Raina was here again now and my soul is in too many pieces to fight her again...fight her again and win anyways