That Skirt

My name is Erina Mie, but most people call me Erin instead, and I have the most coalesce up life a 15 year old should have. My Mom and Dad were divorced when I was just 9 and they went to court to say who I would live with. But since the lack of my Dad’s job, I was sentenced to live with my mom.



After that cause of the divorce, my mom started to get angry. So angry she started to take all her anger at me every time. Everyday. Child abuse. I have gotten too weak from her harassment I have been lacking my grades so much, causing more and more abuse.



Mostly every one new about it in my block, I would usually hear the parents in my block say “Poor child.” I felt strong pity from them… Soon after 6 years, I had been child abused. Scares, bruises, and cuts were all over my arms and legs. I couldn’t be a normal 15 year old, wearing a skirt all frilly with a short armed sleeved t-shirt. I had to hide them. From everyone: my friends. They didn’t have to know. I didn’t want them to feel pity from me.

Especially Will, a boy, I met in 7nth grade. He was the only one that saw my cuts, bruises and scares, but he only thought girls on my block were harassing me, I just went along to hide the truth. He in insisted to handle the problem for me, but I refused, there was no harassment from girls from my block, they were lies. For two years he have been comforting me from the pain I had from my mother, but no. He only comforted me for the pain of a lie. A lie he didn’t know.



Soon I realized that I loved Will. I was ready to tell, him but, I found him with a girl. I knew that girl, his girlfriend. I was so hurt from that scene that I came to him even more for comfort, for the pain from my mother, and the pain of my broken heart. But I never wanted to give him up. So I tried to catch up my grades and go the same high school as him. I succeeded and went to the same school. But soon, my life was so messed up.







I was sitting in Will’s room for comfort again. “Did the girls beat you up again?” he asked. I nodded slowly. I have gotten so used to telling that lie; I didn’t really have a problem with it. I showed him the red bleeding cuts.



“Your not going to leave or do anything to keep me away from feeling better, are you?” I asked “Not even if you’re with your girlfriend..?” I added softly. He laughed “Of course not!” he said, and nudged me. “Promise..?” I asked. “Promise” he said.





But for a few times, he did go away. He wasn’t really communicating with me. He was always with his girlfriend. I got so depressed from it, I confronted his girlfriend, when Will was gone.



“Break up with him.” I said only.

“Excuse me?” she said with an attitude.

“Break up with Will.” I said. She looked at me.

“Yeah like that will happen. I know that you want him, but no matter what, he won’t ever date a girl like you!” she scolded. I was so pissed I raised my arm and slapped her. But I heard Will voice “What are you doing Erin!?” I turned and saw him, and he saw me slap her. His girlfriend ran to him squealing “Will, She hit me!”



I stayed silent and was about to talk but she squealed again “Let her go away!” Will calmed her down and ignored me. What a brat. I stuttered. “Will, please understand. I just lo-“



“Erin Go away, please.” He interrupted me without listening. “w-what…?” I asked. “Go away.” He just said without looking at me. I felt humiliated, from all these people looking at me, and I felt pity.



Pity.



I clenched my fists and lowered my head, causing all my black short hair covering my embarrassed face. I cried out with all my might to him furiously “Where’s your promise!?!?!” and ran away to home.

~



I felt so bitter inside; I didn’t want this to go on so I was planning to go to his house and apologized. I came knocking at his door, but there was no answer. The slight deep feeling of churning in your stomach, like you made a mistake took place in my tummy.  I saw the door open just slightly, and the rush of energy was ready to say something was about to explode. But I saw him, and he saw me but that down feeling in me turned deeper… he was just looking down at me.



“Will please understand-“



“I have to go now,” he interrupted me again in the middle of my sentence. I clenched my fists and ran to him, hugging him in my arms, full of might and that hefty power any girl would give “I love you!” I shouted “I love you…”



He released my hands and turned to me and that was that heartbreaking moment that just shot me right through, his cold eyes told me clearly “I’m sorry,” he said, giving me a pitiful expression “But the way I feel for you isn’t love.”



And that struck me. It brought that heavy feeling weighing you down and forcing you to bend your knees. He didn’t feel love for me, and that was all he could say.



I held my right hand to my head and I broke down….but I stopped myself this last time. Held it all in. All the pain from the years I had with my mother and him, all of it… And he didn’t love me. He didn’t love me like the way I did. I had the moment of slapping him, but that wouldn’t be necessary. I slapped myself with my two hands with my face at the same time, at least three times. “What Are you doing!?!” he scolded. I looked up with sorrow in my eyes “I’m sorry….” I paused and looked at him in his eyes, thinking if I were making the right choices in my life. He looked at me with those gentle eyes of his; and I knew he wouldn’t care for me that way anyway. I felt empty inside, so hollow. “For loving you…” And at that last moment: I gave him my most genuine smile…because I knew… I wouldn’t ever give it to him again.



~



I cried in my bed, for so long I couldn’t even tell if it was night outside. I screamed in my pillow so loud I thought my mom was going to yell at me again, but no, I heard her outside the house instead. “Please! Don’t take her away from me! I can’t live without her! Please!” she cried. I ran down outside to see what was happening. I saw him. Dad, there he was. Dad.



“No!” he said “I’m taking her so she could live with me! I bet she would have a better life than this place!” I gasped in unbelief and ran to my Dad. “Dad!” I cried “Your back!” He hugged me and rubbed my head “yep, I’m back.” He said softly.



He let go of me and said “I’m taking          Erina away with me, I know that she has been child abused by you. So don’t you even cry out to take her back, ‘cause she has gone through so much pain because of you.” He scolded. I nodded. And my mom was lost. She apologized to me and helped me pack my stuff.



This was it, my last night in this house. I’m going to move I thought to myself I’m finally going to move. I cried in joy on my bed. I got up and put on my coat and carried my bags outside. I trudged them until Will’s house. “I’m sorry…” I said sadly in front of his house alone “I love you so much.” I sobbed exhaling. I had the most  pitiful face in the world with tears. I bit my lower lip and cried silently, trudging away.



~



Erina was gone for the past 2 days and Will was going to check on her because he was worried. But the only thing he saw at her house was her Dad and a big truck with stuff in it.



“What’s happening!?” Will asked loudly. “Oh, your Will that boy who took care of my daughter” he said “thank-you, but she is having a hard time with her Mom of child abuse witch caused all of the bruises and cuts, and so she is moving with me.”



Will Stretched his eyes “Moving!? Child abuse!?” he shouted “I thought she was harassed by girls because of those scares!” Dad shook his head “Nope, well, I hope you got well with Erina cause she stopped at your house at night and left.”



Will was so stunned he fell down to his knees. “I wish I could just give her one more hug.” He said quietly to himself. Erina’s Dad widened his eyes, and said “What should I do with you?”



~



This is it, I said to myself. I was at my new home. It was night and I was still unpacking my things. I unpacked my suitcase filled with clothes and held a skirt to my chest “Now I could wear a skirt…” and I remember Will, I knew he wouldn’t ever see me in a skirt. I moved my skirt up to my face and cried “I wish I was still there for comfort.” I fell down to my side and sobbed, closing my eyes tight. I could start my new life, but this memory just won’t let me move on.



I suddenly felt someone hug me tightly. I opened my eyes and there was Will hugging me in the middle of my room. “What are you doing here!?” I yelled frantically. I jumped to get away from him, but he pulled me to hug me again “I’m sorry..” he said so quietly to my ear “I never wanted you to go away, I didn’t know you were child abused.”



I pushed him back “But your not suppose to be here!” I screamed at him. He smiled nervously “I’m sorry Erin…I finally learned how much I like you…are you mad?”



I slapped him in the face as hard as I could, leaving a big red mark on his face “MAD!?!” I screamed at him “DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME! I HATE YOU! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO LEFT ME WITH PAIN! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO BROKE MY HEART! YOU ARE THE REASON WHY I MOVED! I HATE YOU!” I bellowed at him, releasing all my anger, with tears flying out “But its so hard….I just love you….” I added softly, sobbing. He lowered his head “I’m sorry…” he replied. But I cried in my hands “Don’t ever do this to me again…” I cried so hard. He comforted me.



“I won’t ever… and maybe I won’t just come here for the pain you feel.” He smiled. I cried and I had hope that he would always keep his promise, and I hope you don’t forget yours too.



And when I peeked out and spotted my skirt, I just knew I would have a new feeling inside grasping the cold wind on my legs. And there it was, my genuine “everlasting” smile, and for that little mirthful moment, I had the chance now and forever more to wear that skirt.